Opium
by JSlayerUK
Summary: Spike's got a soul and he can't handle it. Why not go to someone who's lived through it? Spike does only to find the person he wants is in a box at the bottom of the ocean... and he's got a son? (Angel Crossover, Post Season 6) COMPLETE!!
1. The Return

**SERIES TITLE:** Opium   
**EPISODE:** Episode One: Return To LA   
**AUTHOR:** JSlayerUK   
**EMAIL:** JSlayerUK@aol.com   
**FEEDBACK:** I want it as much as I want ice on a hot day... okay, that was lame. Seriously though, I need it. It's the only way I'll learn.   
**ARCHIVE/DISTRIBUTION:** As for now, my site only. But if you want it (can't imagine why) just give me a heads up about it.   
**SUMMARY:** Solving the issue of Angel in a box using the infernal crossover we all desperately want.   
**SPOILERS:** Season 3 of Angel, Season 6 of Buffy. If you haven't seen this season of Angel, the first few parts serve as a pretty good summary.   
**CONTENT/WARNINGS:** Not so much to warn about. Ahhh... the joys of post Tomorrow/Grave fiction... _This is thought_ and things in *s are emphasis. Just in case you didn't know...   
**RATING:** 12 for now, it may get worse, haven't decided. There's bunches of subtext and implied stuff, but if you don't get it, then it doesn't matter obviously. I'm not good at writing smut, therefore I do not write it. I honour the Fade-To-Black system.  
**DISCLAIMER:** All hail the almighty Joss. Nothing is mine, apart from Spike. He sits in my lair chained to a wall for my amusement. Hehehe...   
**DEDICATION:** This is dedicated to Portal 388. You know who you are.  
**NOTE:** I'm an insane lunatic and this is my first Buffy fic. I'm in severe want of a beta reader. It's all wrong. It's wrong. I'm wrong. Tell me that I'm wrong please! Please don't forgive me! Please... please don't!

~*-*~

"You want to know what my problem is? I'm screwed. That's my problem. I can't win. I'm trying to atone for a hundred years of unthinkable evil. News flash! I never can!"

~ Angel, Happy Anniversary

~*-*~

This is too much. It's like I'm dying all over again and I don't know if I'll ever recover. I'm living a personal hell every day. Every night. It's just a reel of faces, of lives, of souls, of potential. Ended by my own hand. There aren't enough words to explain the pain. The guilt. The feeling of worthlessness and emptiness. I'm growing ever thinner and weaker. I was nearly dust a few nights back, too weak to find shade before dawn. All because I'm weighed down by the heavy pain of remorse, to the point where I can't feed. It's just wrong. And I shouldn't feel this way. Even though I asked for it, I had no idea it would be so bad. I never realised how many lives I snuffed out. How much pain I caused. From Edward Lockhart screaming at me for mercy as I shoved a railroad spike through his temple, all through to hurting the one person I swore I never would. Buffy. She sounded like him too. Old Eddie boy was being tortured with my rage from a lack of respect. I tortured Buffy with my love, all because she couldn't say it back. I'm nothing now. And I just can't cope with the pain. This is all too much.

I will not brood. No I shan't. No brooding. No brooding for me. I'm not a poof.

And it's all brought me here. To the one place I swore and I'd never go. And now I don't even have a choice. I wasn't looking forward to having to do this. It was my worst nightmare a few years ago. But soul be damned, I am not going to let it drag me down. There will always be a sanctuary for me. I'm not looking forward to this. Something tells me I'm *not* going to be welcome...

~*-*~


	2. Welcome

~*-*~ 

"Welcome!" 

This is a face I haven't seen. Ever. I'm sure I've got the right address... and I recognise his scent around the place. Faint, but he's been here. 

"How can we help you?" 

She reminds me of Dawn. A happier Dawn anyway. Older than her, most definitely, but there's the same balance of suffering, knowledge and naivety in her brown doe eyes. I can recognise it immediately. This girl had been places and seen things. I already felt sorry for her, and I hadn't even heard her story. Damned soul. 

"Yes, I'm looking for..." 

I turned my head as I felt a male presence. Not him. Yet another person I didn't recognise. A tall, dark fellow. He had power, that much I could tell. Human, most definitely but a warrior nonetheless. His posture screamed arrogance. 

"Hey Fred, what's going on? Who the hell are you?" 

Oh please. I really don't want to fight. It's got nothing to do with the fact that I can't right now, but I just don't want to cause any more pain when I don't have to. 

"Calm down sweetie. He needs our help. Remember? That's what we do." 

Right. It's official. They work by helping other people. I'm downright certain this is the place. 

"My name's William. I came here looking for..." 

"Who?" 

"Look! I'm here to see Angel." 

Silence. Bad silence. 

"Why do you want to find him?" 

The tall guy looked suspicious. That's just dandy. He's on to me. I know it. 

"Let's just say we're friends. We go back." 

"How far back?" 

The girl called Fred, no idea why, looked at me in a rather curious manner. Something was up with Angel. I wouldn't have enough to time to find out. 

"Fred, get away from him." 

Oh, here we go. Another interruption. Who is this ponce then anyway? English... obviously. And he's wary of me... Either he knows who I am, or he can sense vampires... Oh bloody hell. English, knows me, senses vampires, working here. I should have noticed that anywhere. He can hide under those jeans, that sloppy haircut and stubble but he's given it away already. A Watcher. I'm not stupid. 

"I'm not here to cause trouble..." 

"Like hell you're not. Fred, move away from him, he's dangerous." 

Who did this guy think he was? You would think that working for one of my kind meant he understood blurred lines. I said I wasn't going to do anything... Warrior guy piped up again. 

"HOW far back?" 

"About a hundred years I'd say. Am I right?" 

I swear that I could kill this guy with absolutely no remorse. Snap his little insignificant neck like a little insignificant twig right in front of his little insignificant pals... Oh for God's sake, now I feel guilty. I shouldn't be thinking these thoughts. Damned soul. 

"Longer than that Watcher. 122 years. What's your point?" 

"How did you know I was a Watcher?" 

"You don't live to be as old as me without being sharp. You reek of haughtiness and conceit, likely instilled by Queen Q-Tip Travers himself. Am I right?" 

I'd got him there. His lower lip twitched, as he knew I'd got him too. And as quickly as that I was on the floor as an arrow fired from a crossbow imbedded itself in the staircase behind me. 

"Hey! Now listen Fast and Furious! I'm here for Angelus and nothing else. I don't want your blood, and you don't want to have to sweep up my mess if you stake me. Calm the bloody hell down mate." 

"You're a vampire, clearly a powerful one considering how long you've been around. You know Angel as Angelus and you're wearing pimp daddy rings and I'm not supposed to be afraid of you? You're better as dust." 

"You're afraid of me? That's so kind of you!" 

Now everyone was taken aback. Including me. I cannot believe I said that. It's been so long that anyone's seen me as a threat. I've spent the last year and a half as a babysitter above all else, and I couldn't even terrify a 15 year old. Maybe this visit wouldn't be so bad after all. 

"Right. Now let's do something sensible shall we? Make a pact. I do something shifty; you're perfectly welcome to stake me. But for now, we use no weapons, only words. Alright?" 

The three workers, Warrior Watcher and Fred, looked at each other, questioning whether or not to trust me, the cocky blond vampire, but the result was what I wanted. Fred grabbed my arm and smiled at me. 

"Sure. Now tell us what's going on." 

~*-*~


	3. Attempted Murder

~*-*~ 

We moved into the hotel further. It's nice hotel, Grandsire's done well for himself. 

"I don't want to impose on you lot, but you don't have any blood do you? Don't worry, animal blood will do. I don't care all too much." 

"You haven't eaten already? Loads of people in Los Angeles, I would think a vampire of your type would have killed a whole street by now." 

I'm nipping this guy in the bud, right here right now. 

"I don't feed off people. Not my style. And what's your problem anyway?" 

"Well, the last time one of Angel's relatives came round we had a few problems." 

Problems? Oh yes. Dru had told me that Darla was back about a year ago. Right before I almost killed her for Buffy. Not that it mattered what happened, but I just wanted to get better acquainted with everyone. Didn't want to put my foot in it. 

Things went quiet for a while. As I sat down on the couch, I watched them as they moved around the hotel. Making tea, fetching blood etc. There's a bond between Fred and the Warrior. I could sense it. Dating? Possibly. They seem nice enough, once you get past his wanting to kill me. As for the Watcher Mark 2... He's tense. Maybe he shouldn't be here. Doesn't matter. I find my darling Sire, and I'm headed back to Sunnydale. To repent. Ask forgiveness. She's back. With dark red liquid in a glass. Nice. 

Then before I know it there's an arm wrapped around my neck and a stake curving itself towards my heart. If I needed to breathe I'd be worried. I pushed myself up off his body and flipped over his head landing behind him and then kicked him at the base of his spine. He fell but quickly got up again. Nimble lad this one was. He brought his right fist round to hit me, but he reeled back at first, classic sign. I blocked easily and used an uppercut on him to throw him off. And yet up he gets up again. There is no stopping this boy! He aims for my stomach with a clear punch. It hurts. Oh how it hurts. But I've fought many slayers in my time, and walked away from all of them, leaving two of them dead, and one of them shagged rotten. No spry pubescent will be the end of me. He aims a second at my stomach. I grab his arm, bang it near the elbow for pain and effect, swing it round and hold him tight. He can't move. Good thing too. 

"What the HELL is with you people TRYING TO KILL ME!!!" 

The boy is struggling. I'm not letting him go. Today will not have a dusty ending. All the others can do is stare at me. Like I've attacked Jesus or something. 

"Oh for God's sake. We had a deal people! I didn't do anything! I'm not going to kill anyone, apart from this lad if he doesn't bloody well stop squirming..." 

"You stopped him." 

Fred was surprised. Had she never seen Angel fight before? 

"Well of course I did. Now I think we need to explain some things. Like how you agreed not to kill me and then short stuff here doesn't even let me get a drink." 

"I can't believe you stopped him." 

And now the Warrior was staring at me. Had he forgotten that vampires could fight? 

"Right. Promise me you will keep away, and then we can sit and have a calm talk yes?" 

"Right. Err... Connor? Sit down. He's all right; we don't want to kill him. William, I think you should come back here. This may take a while." 

The eyes of everyone in the room agreed. This was going to take a while. 

~*-*~ 


	4. The Retelling

~*-*~ 

"So. To clarify. Your name is Charles Gunn. You've known Angel for a while now. You fight with him, and you live in the hotel with him. You've been fighting demons since you were young and right now you're dating Fred here. Fred, who's actual name is *Winifred* believe it or not, spent the last 5 years in a different dimension as a refugee and after you guys crashed into that dimension, you brought her back with you. Over there talking is Wesley Wyndham-Pryce. Ex-watcher of Faith the crackpot Slayer, now working for Angel, but he doesn't live here and is the guardian of Connor, who is freakishly strong for his age. How well am I doing?" 

"Not very." 

The Watcher was back, and gave the girl a look of disappointment. 

"Oh dear. The story's wrong isn't it?" 

"Not completely, but it is tampered with a bit, isn't it Fred?" 

And then Fred looked guilty. 

"I wasn't sure whether or not he should know the whole deal." 

Wesley took a deep breath. I wasn't looking forward to this. People only go to this much effort to disguise bad news. 

"What she said about Gunn and herself was all true. As for me, I don't work for Angel. Angel knew I was here; he'd try to kill me again. I'm not Connor's guardian. I just help train him now." 

"So what, he's like a male slayer or something?" 

Wesley looked at the table, and then looked at me. 

"No. Connor is Angel's son." 

As much as I hate to quote the whelp, but it's the only word appropriate. 

"Shpadoinkle." 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_ Author's Note: So how's that for an introduction to the story? Don't worry, I've got a plot in my head, and we're getting to it... _


	5. The West Side Story

~*-*~ 

Angel had a son. How in the hell did that work? Connor. Irish. Typical. Did this make him my uncle? No matter, I still had more than a century on him. This was taking a while to register. Angel, MY Angel, had a son. A real son. That wasn't me. Connor was human, I could hear his pulse and smell his blood, and was Angel's son. What exactly was going on here? My only thoughts were that Angel was no longer a vampire... and that besides - who was the mother? I'm sure this is something Buffy would not like to know about. Oh bugger it. So many questions. 

The silence was deafening. They were all looking at me like I would go insane with the information. Start ripping stuff apart and screaming like a lunatic. I'll show them. 

"That's something isn't it? Forgive me for this... but how exactly does that work? I mean, we don't, vampires don't, we can't..." 

Or at least I hope we can't, otherwise my recent sex capades should have been done using protection of some sort... 

"It wasn't really all too natural. A prophecy." 

Well of course. A prophecy. "The one with the excess hair gel will father a son that is insane and tries to stake people without thinking". Sounds about right. It's not like the powers ever made ANY sense. 

"Please explain further, I can't get my head round this. Wait a minute. Who's the mother?" A quick glance around confirmed my thoughts. "I don't want to know do I?" 

"Darla." 

"Darla?!" 

"Darla." 

Now my head was most definitely spinning. This was making less and less sense. 

"So Angel and Grandmum made with the screwage, Angel didn't lose his soul, she got pregnant and gave birth to a 16 year old human boy? Forgive me if it makes no sense." 

"You're not the only one who thinks it makes no sense." 

Fred was on to something there. She clearly didn't understand it but she lived with it. Something I was going to have to do too. 

"Well, to clarify it in simplistic terms. Angel got Darla pregnant. Darla couldn't give birth cause she was a vampire..." 

"But could clearly get impregnated..." 

"Let me finish. So she staked herself." 

Darla? Dust? Again? I know she never really tolerated me, but I never wanted that to happen to her. I mean, somewhere in my heart I knew I wanted us all to be back together again. The happy foursome. Darla, Angelus, Drusilla and I. We spent a happy 20 odd years wandering Europe killing as we pleased. I don't appreciate the killing anymore, but I miss the togetherness. The sense of belonging. Sure, I'm a regular Fangs For Hire back in Sunnydale, but I don't fit in with them. They use me when they need me and throw me out again. I miss the 80's. The 1880's that is. 

"Connor was born. There was this whole issue with this guy trying to kill Angel, and he took Connor away, with my help." 

"It wasn't your fault Wesley, you know that. False prophecy, remember? 

The looks that were being exchanged around the room only helped to alleviate my feelings of "I should never have asked". But if I was going to get my hands on Angel any time soon, I would have to put up with these people. Besides, I needed to know more about Connor. This whole thing was nuts. 

"Sorry, but can you explain this to me further? I'm still confused." 

"Understandable. Well, this guy, Holtz..." 

"Holtz?! Bloody hell!" 

"You know him?" 

"Know him? Goodness no, I'm not that old. But I was raised on that kind of stuff. When I was sired, I went after people who mocked me in early life. Angelus told me it was pathetic. How what I'd done didn't punish them at all. Torture was best, and then he would brag about his handiwork, Darla would call him on it. Killing whole families was Angel's trademark, but Darla never liked it. What did he always say? "There's no torture like losing the ones you love". Dru was the last person he did that to. Darla wasn't happy and Angelus never did it again. Never stopped him bragging about it though. What?" 

Oh my god, the faces. They didn't know. They had no idea just how evil we were back then. They were disgusted and shocked and upset and much more. I shouldn't have talked about it. I'd opened wounds. I'll assume they weren't meant to know. After all, Angel would have told them otherwise. I needed to get off this topic. 

"So, Holtz then! He did what exactly?" 

"He abducted Connor, with my help, and got sent to Quortoth." 

"With your help? Quortoth?" 

"I'll fill in this part. There was a false prophecy that Angel would revert to Angelus and kill the baby and Wesley fell for it. So Wesley took Connor away, only to be ambushed, robbed of Connor and left for dead." 

"Thanks for that Gunn." 

"Left for dead?" 

"Slashed throat." 

"Ouch." 

"Anyways. Quortoth is a hell dimension and Holtz and Connor ended up there. 16 years later, Quortoth time, Connor punches his way back into this dimension. Meets up with us. There's friction at first, and then everything's alright." 

"Well... that's a lot of information to process. But hey! I have a new family member. We're getting off the point here. Where's Angel? I really need to talk to him and why are you looking like that?" 

"We don't know." 

"What do you mean you don't know? Where is he?" 

"He disappeared about 2 months ago, and we haven't seen him since. We've looked everywhere and he's nowhere to be found." 

There's an alternate dimension somewhere in which I'm being smacked round the head repeatedly with an iron, and it doesn't hurt as much as this. Angel's lost? It's strange. He was always around when I really needed him. Needed him for help, advice, draining him to heal Drusilla... okay, there's a memory I'm not bringing up with him. Might not have forgiven me... 

"As much as we hate this, we think he's dead. As in gone dead." 

I didn't want to hear this. I did in no way whatsoever want this information. I'm suffering, in pain. There's only one other person who's lived through this and I need him now. Wesley continued. 

"Angel would never abandon us without warning. And not for as long as he has. He could leave for a week maybe, but two months? Never. He hasn't lost his soul, otherwise he'd be back to kill us all. We've tried to locate him, but he doesn't leave tracks. We don't have a clue." 

It was whilst Fred was talking I noticed that both Connor and Gunn were silent. Wesley being silent, I could wholly understand, he felt guilty... but my senses pricked up. They knew something the rest of us didn't. Connor even more so. I'm going to have a word with him. After all, fists can talk. 

"He's not dust. I'd know if he was." 

"How?" 

"Physical connection. If it were ruptured, I'd feel it in my veins. He's still as undead as ever." 

At this point I was about to realise why Warrior seemed quiet. He was weary of me. 

"William, we've told you a lot of stuff about what's going on here. Wesley seems to know you, but I sure as hell don't. I don't trust you for half an instant. You've known Angel forever and you're a killer. That's all we know. Who are you?" 

They'd explained themselves to me, only fair I explained myself to them. Buckle up children, it's story-telling time! 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_ Author's Note: Soz that it took so long to upload this next section... but I've already started on the next one so that should be up in a short while!_


	6. A Century In A Minute

~*-*~ 

"Where do you want me to start? There's "long story" and then there's stories like mine that start over a century ago." 

"Oh don't worry, got nothing else to do right now." 

Damn. I was hoping I could get out of the long story. Well, they didn't need to know everything. I plan to leave out the majority and just give them the facts. How I got here basically. Surprisingly, that's a long story in itself. 

"Well, I'm William, better known as Spike." 

"Spike? As in...?" 

"As in William the Bloody, Scourge of Europe." 

Wesley's sighing. I wonder if he had to do a case study on me too... 

"Listen, it's best I do this without interruption. I'm about to condense a century into a few minutes; I could do with continuity." 

"Sure." 

Cute girl. 

"What did I just say about interruption? Right then. Spike. I'm a vampire. A bloody good one, no pun intended, and I'm old. Not as old as our precious Angel, but above average. After all, average vamp gets dusted in less than a decade. I was sired in 1880. Which I believe gives me the right to say I'm old. I'm English and I didn't lose my accent after travelling around for a few years unlike *some* people. So, what's the official stint? "Sired in 1880, Childe of Drusilla, Childe of Angelus..." 

"Whoa. Spike? Did you say you're Drusilla's kid?" 

Interesting. Warrior has more information on me than I thought... 

"Well, Childe yes, I wouldn't quite go as far as saying I was a goat... You know her?" 

"Know her? Lost my job over her and Darla." 

Oops. 

"She was here then?" 

"Still is. Something about not straying far from Daddy." 

Well that's just fantastic isn't it? Stays in California, and not so much as a peep. It would be nice of her to drop in, say hello once in a while. Actually, possibly not. I know her, and she'd be able to smell the Slayer all over me. Her reaction would be less than desirable. 

"So... you're saying Drusilla's still here in LA, and Angelus hasn't dusted her yet?" 

"*Angel* says he couldn't do that to her. Blames himself..." 

"And then starts on the brooding trip I suppose Watcher? Not surprised. She is his fault." 

"Well, of course she's his fault. He sired her." 

"Not exactly Fred. Yes, he sired her, but he didn't just do that. He made her insane. She would sing her stories at me for the hundred years we roamed together. Angelus was obsessed with Dru. Stalked her, followed her everywhere, killed her brother and sisters and left them in her bed, killed her parents right where they ate. She started going nuts and the nanny put her in a convent, before Angelus killed the nanny too. But once Angelus starts something, he doesn't stop. Killed every single nun in the place right in front of her and then turned her. Dru was a normal girl once. Now all she does is sing that song about blackberries. Shame really. Then I wonder if I would have loved Dru as much were she sane. I really don't know." 

"Wait a minute, loved her? Don't tell me you screwed with each other too! Man you vampires are weird." 

"She may have been my sire, but we were still together. Until Angelus came back in '98. Took her away from me..." 

"Now Angelus slept with his Childe? What's with you people and the incest?" 

"They're vampires Gunn. There are demons that can survive in a pretty chaste manner, but vampires can't. Of all the demons, they are ones with a very finely tuned sexual prowess. Heaven forbid you combine a vampire with incubi. Hate to think of the consequences..." 

"Nicely put Watcher." 

"You're welcome." 

"Wow. He really was as much of a monster as Holtz said." 

"Indeed he was Little Poof. He's all smiles and sunshine now I assume. Shiny little soul and all." 

"Erm... hate to interrupt you *again*, but why are you here? Please continue." 

"Oh right. So we travelled across Europe, got the nickname." 

"No you didn't." 

"Excuse me Watcher?" 

"I read all about you whilst training to be a Watcher. You got the nickname Spike from your killing methods. Don't deny it." 

"I was referring to us being the Scourges or Europe... As for Spike, yes, I did get that from killing people with them. But I haven't killed anyone like that since I left England in 1887." 

"You're evil." 

"Hello? Vampire. Yes I know. Not proud of it, but that's what I am now. I can't change that. I'm evil. Devil spawn. Happy? I hate to remind you of this but your father was worse than me. *Much* worse. So, we went across Europe killing as we went. We were a foursome of death. I loved it at the time. Darla, Angelus, Drusilla and I. Had so much fun, well, as much fun as you can have being dead. Angelus was never all too fond of me, and although Darla was his senior, he was in control of us all. He looked after all of us, and he instructed us, told us what to do. Didn't like me all too much most of the time. I was stubborn. A threat to his authority. After all, he'd spent so much time with just him and his girls. We had different killing styles really. He dealt in pain, mental kind. I was never much for that. Fight, feed and move on." 

I could see the look of shock on their faces. My word, even Dawn wasn't this scared when I told her stories. Especially Fred. She seemed so upset. 

"Don't worry Fred. This is Angelus I'm talking about, completely different. Angel wouldn't do anything like that again." 

"I beg to differ." 

"Oh really Watcher boy? Care to explain?" 

"No, not really." 

"Well then, I'll continue. Travelled across Europe on our way to Russia, and we ended up in Romania in 1898. We planned on returning to Europe for the war. It was brewing and we knew it would start. Just didn't know when." 

"Wait a minute, The War? Like, World War One?" 

Eurgh. Wesley was clearly thinking likewise. We exclaimed in unison: 

"Your generation has no idea of history..." 

It's true, they don't. I mean how many wars started the first half of the 20th century? 

"Well, I don't really think I need to tell you the story of what happened in Romania. We all know how that turns out. It ends up with Dru and I being abandoned with *Darla* of all people. She's not the nicest of people you know... especially when her Angelus was taken from her. We had to do whatever she said. And she wanted to go to China. The Boxer Rebellion, 1900. I didn't want to go. Who would want to bother going all the way to China when we could cause trouble in Europe? But if Darla wanted to go, we had to. No choice involved. The only person who could overthrow her command was The Master... and he wasn't showing up anytime soon. I didn't want to go to China. Well, until I got there of course and found out what was waiting for me." 

"What?" 

"A girl." 

"A girl?" 

"Not just any girl. One girl in all the world chosen to fight me and my kind." 

"A slayer?" 

I can feel the smile creeping across my face every moment. I can't help but think of China and smile. 

"A slayer. My first." 

They all looked so puzzled. Apart from Wesley. I assume he knows all anyways. They always do. I sometimes think that the Watcher's Council know more about me than I do... 

"Well I can imagine that she didn't kill you cause you're still here." 

"No Fred, she didn't kill me. We did fight. Fought hard too. Fight to the death. Her death. I killed her. And believe me, that's quite a feat. Very rarely can a vampire say that they killed a slayer. Slayers usually die averting apocalypses. But against a single vampire? Very unusual. That's when I was truly accepted as a Master Vampire. Being from the master line was all well and good, but you had to prove yourself. That's when I did. Angelus caught up with us in China. Except I now know that wasn't Angelus. It was Angel who met us there. Darla never told us until after he left us again. Afterwards we travelled around, and after we hit the USA in the Thirties, Darla met up with The Master and stayed with him. Then onwards it was just me and Dru. By this time of course we were strong. So strong in fact, that we didn't fear anyone or anything. We had the guts to hang about in Germany during the Olympics in '36. Except we didn't get out and ended up hanging about during the war. That's what separated me and Dru from the rest. We stayed and helped. Other vampires revelled in the murder of all those people, we didn't. We preyed on Storm troopers purposefully. Got people out of concentration camps. Dru understood the orphans, she did. Cause the same thing happened to her. Back then, we weren't vampires doing the work of evil, we were English. And we were helping. Like I said, we weren't in the game for the torture, and none of those people deserved that. See? I'm not quite as bad as you all thought am I?" 

"Saving a few lives in a war doesn't make you a saint. You still killed a lot of people." 

"I know, Poof Jr. And I'm sorry. But I killed to eat. I killed to survive. I'm more of a man than a monster, and I know it. But anyway, I digress. Dru and I wandered the globe and ended up in New York in 1977 after the Jubilee. Which is when I came up against a third slayer." 

"Whoa whoa whoa. Third? What happened to the second?" 

"Don't like to talk about her. Found her in Switzerland 1954. I was minding my own business and everything. I just went to watch the World Cup. That's my one weakness, my passion for football. I've seen every World Cup you know? Live and all. What can I say? I've never let sunlight bother me too much. Crowded stadiums are great, especially world class ones. They're always roofed. And even if they're not, the crowd helps keep sunlight out anyway. We would only miss the midday kick offs, when the sun was at the top of the sky. I have a deal with the sun. I stay out of its way so it stays out of mine. We're cool. As for the Swiss slayer, I fought her, but I got complacent. I'd beaten the last one I'd come up against, and assumed this would be just as easy. She nearly got me you know, if Dru hadn't been there. Knocked her unconscious. Dru wanted to finish the job, but I wanted to watch the game. So we left her there to go and wait for kick off. She didn't die, we know that much. Cause on our way out of town we saw her again. I promised myself not to make the same mistake again. And I didn't. Which is how I left the third one dead too. And of course, that made me legendary. Two slayers. That's why people like old Wesley here had to study me." 

"I suffered studying you. It was the only exams I failed." 

"I'm so terribly sorry." 

"As you should be." 

My antics had made even more people suffer. Great. 

"But that's not what you need to know. You want to know how I ended up here. I made mistake number one of being too open in Prague, 1996. The moment it was discovered that vampires were around, the town were in went nuts. It was a witch-hunt. Well... vampire hunt actually. And the mob found us. Nearly killing Dru. So I took her to the one place I thought could heal her and make her better. Mistake number two. I went to Sunnydale. Why Sunnydale? Because it was on a Hellmouth, and Hellmouths have healing powers for evil things like Dru. And because Sunnydale had a Slayer. I wanted a third one on the tally." 

"Buffy." 

"Buffy? The blonde one who died? And then came back from the dead?" 

"That's the Buffy, Fred. I came to Sunnydale to kill her." 

"And you didn't succeed, obviously." 

"No Gunn, I didn't succeed. She's still alive." 

"But you're not dust." 

I've always wondered this. I know that one of us should have walked away from each other dead or dust. But we were both alive and kicking... well, kicking at least. 

"Now I don't know how much of this Angel's has told you..." 

"We know how Angelus was released and what he did." 

"Yeah. Well, Angelus was back and wanted to end the world. I didn't want him to. So I joined teams with the one person I wanted to kill. Buffy and I made a pact that I would help her fight Angelus if she would let Dru and I skip town. So she did. As you can understand I was getting pissed that Angelus kept taking advantage of me being in that wheelchair." 

"Wheelchair?" 

"Buffy dropped an organ on me." 

"She's strong." 

"Yeah." 

"And she ended up making a pact with you?" 

"Yeah." 

"And you agreed, even though she was not only your mortal enemy, but also dropped an organ on you and left you in a wheelchair?" 

"Yeah." 

"Dude, you're crazy." 

"Saved the world didn't I?" 

"Suppose..." 

"Anyway. Buffy averted the apocalypse. Sent Angel to hell. Dru and I left for Brazil. But things were never the same after I helped the Slayer. Dru cheated on me. She cheated on *me*! *Me*! With a chaos demon no less! Not that I'm still bitter over it. I've moved on. But a chaos demon! I mean, I'm more attractive than those things, with the antlers and the gloopy slimy muck all over them... No really! Fred, you'd go for me over a human reindeer hybrid covered in muck right?" 

"Erm... yeah, I suppose so." 

"Thank you! Lousy bitch... walk out on me why don't you. But I'm not mad. Not mad at all." 

Wow. I can't believe all those feelings came out again. I thought I was over her, I mean *really* over her. I suppose I'm not. I still love Buffy with my whole being but there will always be a part of me devoted to Dru. Forever more. 

"I still don't see, Spike, how this story ends up with you here." 

"Oh, sorry Watcher Boy. I went back to Sunnydale. Cried a bit. Left again to find Dru after I got my rocks back. Found her. Tied her up. Tortured her until she loved me again. And things were peaceful between us for about a year, until she ran off with a fungus demon. Apparently I was tainted by the Slayer. I wasn't evil enough anymore. Then I had really had enough. Cause you can love someone from the pit of your stomach, and yet still not be able to take it. So I did what I always did to dull the pain. I set out to do something. Kill the Slayer. By now, though, she was tough, and I knew I needed an upper hand. So I set out for The Gem Of Amarra. I knew it existed. I just had to find it. And I did. And I fought Buffy in sunlight. I saw sunlight for well over a day, and it was beautiful. When it came to fighting Buffy, she got the ring off me, and sent it to LA. To Angel. So I chased after Angel. And ended up skewering him for it." 

"Skewering him?" 

"I tortured him, for hours. That was the last time I saw him, and I was hoping that he had forgiven me enough for me to be here... but since he's not here... I'll assume that it's all passed. Water under the bridge and all that. Then I returned to Sunnydale after Angel destroyed the ring. And I was captured and received the new name of Hostile 17." 

"Hostile 17?" 

"I was captured by the Initiative and castrated." 

"Castrated?" 

"They put a behaviour modifying chip in my brain. Meant that I couldn't attack humans without getting a migraine the size of Texas. 

"You know I come from Texas... sorry. That wasn't the point of the story. Go on." 

"The chip is redundant now anyways. I'm not killing you by choice." 

Gunn sighed. 

"How very comforting." 

"So I went to the one place I always do when I don't know where else to go." 

"The Slayer?" 

"The Slayer. Giles took me in for a while, then Xander, and I finally got a place of my own. I could fight demons and such, and I had a passion for the kill so I'd help them out as a demon killer every so often in exchange for cash. Needed a few bob to keep my nicotine habit alight, no pun intended." 

"Oh I get it. You helped them out for cash, kinda like us here." 

"Exactly. I've been doing that for the past 2 years and more. Except something happened, I don't really wanna go into it, and I had to go and find something. So I left Sunnydale." 

"When?" 

"Last summer. I left to find something and I ended up in Uganda. I completed some trials set by a demon and I got what I was looking for." 

"What were you looking for Spike?" 

"Oh God. I didn't really think about talking about this. But I went to Africa... and the demon returned my soul." Plus other things, but I *really* don't want to go into that... 

Silence. I think this is a good silence. A silence I'm going to interrupt anyway. 

"And I couldn't, I can't cope. I wanted to find Angel. He did this and he lives day after day with this pain, and I can't bear to be alone. I need him. He's the only one who understands. And you don't know where he is..." 

"I can't believe the same William the Bloody I studied for years went and got a soul of his own volition." 

"I can't believe I did either. But since Angel's not here, I was wondering if I could hang here. I could sleep on the couch or something..." 

"Couch? Hell man, we have like a thousand rooms. Take one." 

That's the best news I've heard all day. I just need rest really. Talking has worn me out. But I don't want to sleep. When I sleep the nightmares come. And that's bad. 

"Well, vampire, remember. So I'm going to hang about the clubs for the next few hours, kill things and stuff, and crash here before dawn. Is that alright?" 

"I think that should be alright. There are some spare rooms on the third floor. There's blood in the fridge. We'll talk some more in the morning." 

"Thanks Watcher, Warrior, Fred, Mini-Poof. For everything. Say... you don't have a spare axe do you?" 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_ Author's Note: I'm not exactly the biggest AtS fan, but I watch it pretty often. Just wanted to know from the huge AtS fans - do you think I've got their characterisation right? _

I've finally got the rest of the story in my head now, all that I need is to get it down on paper... well screen. 

I understand now what people talk about when they say reviews make them write more. It's true. Reviews are like inspiration, they give me a happy. If I continue writing like I have been this weekend, the next chapter should be up tomorrow. Yay! So thanks to all who've given me feedback. I love you! 


	7. WWAD

~*-*~ 

Spike was wandering the back streets of LA, searching to kill yet more evil things. The level of strangeness was as about as high as the city's buildings. Spike knew this too. 

_If someone had have told me last time I was here that I'd return to this city as a demon hunter, I probably would have laughed and then eaten them_. 

Which was true. He would. But now he couldn't. First he couldn't physically, cause of the chip, now he didn't even want to. Damned soul. 

He wasn't a pathetic excuse for a demon. He was bloody fantastic. He was a pure demon. He was rebellious. Spike had known what it was to be a vampire and turned it on its head. All those years spent pretending to be the Big Bad, it was only now he'd finally become the Big Bad. Spike had spent the last 3 hours slaying vampires and killing demons that were preying on club goers, and for once he wasn't doing it for anyone. Not to make himself feel better, not to atone for his sins, and definitely not for the love of Buffy. He was destroying evil cause it was the right thing to do. Granted, he didn't kill everything he came across. There were darling little things running around LA that were harmless. But there were ones that weren't. And that's were Spikey came out to play. Eurgh, 'Spikey'. Where *has* Harmony been hiding these past few months? Not that it mattered anymore, but that girl had potential to really be something. Exactly what that something was is still a mystery to all but the gods. 

Spike the Rebel. He liked the sound of that. The Slayer of Slayers now in love with one. A creature of the night who spends his nights destroying demons. A devil spawned from Hell who protects the world to stop it becoming one. Yep, rebel. Which really does make Spike the Big Bad. He'd already gained a name in LA as one not to cross paths with. Granted, it was mostly in a 'Angel's grandchilde, beware' sense, but it still meant that in just saying who he was, demons in the area stopped with the killing and maiming of innocents. A part of him was saying 'you're just living in your grandsire's glory' but he shut his jealousy off. He wouldn't let a petty emotion like envy get in way of his work. 

"My God. I really am a sap." 

And he was. Damned soul. 

His mind turned back to the previous events of the day, and Spike was trying to piece together all that had gone on in Angel's life since he last saw him. They weren't exactly on the best of terms, but he knew that Angel wasn't the type to turn his back on his own family. Unless they were plotting with the enemy in order to release the demon within. *Spike* on the other hand, had no such desire so he doubted Angel would set him on fire. He liked Angel's family on the whole. Not the family he was a part of, but his surrogate family. Take Fred for example, she was such an adorable little thing. Quirky and upbeat, which was so refreshing after the intensity of the past few months. Unbelievable, considering all the events that had transpired in and around that hotel. If only there were more people like her in Sunnydale. If Dawn could lighten up a little. The Niblet, how he missed her. She was the one thing that made him regret his little safari; he hadn't been there to protect her. Spike didn't know if he'd be able to approach Buffy after what happened, but when Spike returned to Sunnydale, and he was certain he would, he made make sure he still kept an eye on Dawn. 

_That's probably why you like Fred so much. Reminds you of Dawn... and Vicky._

"Where did that come from?", Spike was forced to say aloud. 

Spike heard what he'd said to himself, and pushed the mention of the girl to the back of his mind, under some cushions in the hope that it would sink to the bottom of the sofa in his subconscious, to join other memories of his past and some old coins. 

_Where was I? Ah yes. Fred. Nice girl..._

Spike moved on with his analysis to Mr Charles Gunn. 

_A regular guy like all the rest. Snarky, presumptuous, self-righteous... Good Lord. He's Xander._

"Good Lord, I said Good Lord. Well that's just dandy isn't it? Get a soul and turn into Giles." 

Fortunately, no one was around to hear Spike's slip up, so he just continued, mindlessly turning the battle axe in his hand. 

Spike found that he'd strayed from the city and was now standing on a beautiful cliff edge. It was strange, as it was in such contrast to the place he could have sworn he just was. His mind had drifted off as had his walking, and now he was looking out into the Pacific, and not the Pacific Bar of the last hour's beheading incident. Why was he here of all places? There was something that drew him to this point, and Spike knew that this specific point held some sort of innate significance. Had he been there before? Nope. He hadn't been in LA long enough to see the sights. There was something else. He could feel it in his long unused veins that he was here for a reason. What reason? 

_Now, let's think. What would be the best course of action to discover what mystical activity was at work bringing me here? What would Angel do? Investigate. Solve clues and what not. Right then, let's get on with it._

There was a signpost close by. 

_Dume_. 

Err, right. How bloody helpful. 

_I really can't do what he does._

So Spike gave up, when he really shouldn't have, because in giving up he slipped up. Literally. He fell over the cliff edge and landed flat on his back on the sands below... then quickly rolling out of the way of the falling battle axe that had previously been in his hand at the top of the cliff. 

Ouch. 

Ouch was an under statement. This was beyond ouch. This was... pain. Real pain. 

_Note to self: Don't fall off cliffs._

If Spike weren't already dead, he would be. 

Arse. 

Wait... something was here. Spike quickly renounced his retirement from playing vampire detective as he got up. Now that he was closer to the sea, he could tell what had lifted the hairs on the back of his neck. Angel. He'd either been here, or still was. He could smell him. Faintly, but he could. And Darla too... she had a scent you couldn't forget. But that was impossible, unless she was brought back yet again. 

_Oh, for God's sake Spike, you *are* an idiot. Wake up and smell the sires. Angel + Darla = Connor._

It all led to the same person. Connor. He had something to do with this. He could smell him here, and Angel was here too. Which meant that Connor had something to do with his disappearance. He was certain of it from the moment he met the boy. 

_Score one for new vampire in town!_

It's official. Spike hung out with Xander *far* too much... 

Wait. There was another thing that Spike could sense was close. Sunrise. And Spike wasn't exactly omniscient when it came to the sewer systems in this city. If he ran he could make it back to the Hyperion and have a small chat later with his new uncle. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_ Author's Note: Oh, I'm aware of the change from the Spike POV of the past chapters to speaking in the 3rd person, before anyone points it out. When I wrote it, I had a good reason for the change, although I don't quite remember that reasoning anymore. Not that it matters. The story still makes sense. _

To my loyal fans: Thanks for the reviews **again**, you have no idea how much it means to me. I do **actually** jump about the house doing my happy dance. One of these days I'll have someone take pictures and post them up. "JSlayerUK Feedback Happy Dance". Answering a few comments:- I don't particularly like the name William either, but it's just for the time being. My vision for Soul!Spike was basically someone like Randy. There are loads of "Woe-Is-Me" Spikes in the realm of fanfic, thought I might as well get back to the witty Spike I fell in love with. And I totally agree about the Fred/Spike thing. I started and nearly went off into Fred/Spike shippy land. 

But I have one request of you. **Please**, if you see a mistake, point it out! Distinct lack of a beta... 


	8. No Orbs Required

~*-*~ 

_Sunset. Dark soon. Time to have fun. 'Wail' on some evil, as Charles Gunn would say. But there's so much of it. And I can't stop them. I can't stop the hurt. I can't stop the pain. I can't stop the evil. It doesn't stop. It never stops._

Connor was reflecting as he returned to his room, ready for another night of action. It was what he did for fun. Winifred always said that he should try and play games and watch TV like normal children, but Connor did what he enjoyed best. Making the world safer. And yet, one person lay at the back of his mind. Angelus. His father. And with that thought came the newest person to enter his life, William. Or Spike. Or whatever he called himself. He was evil. He was a demon. He deserved the same fate as his father. He would have to confront him on that later. 

Connor entered his bedroom and placed his new wallet on the mahogany desk. The concept of a wallet was still quite foreign, since he had never had a need for one before. But he was trying to adjust. He sighed. 

"Just have to get used to this place." 

The shadows responded to him. 

"Los Angeles is a hard place to get used to." 

Connor grabbed his knife, ready to attack. 

"Put the knife down Little Peach. I'm not going to hurt you." 

A figure moved from the corner shadows of the room. 

"Spike." 

In the few hours in which he'd known him, Connor had gotten used to his new family member's names for him. He listened to his elder's instructions and placed the knife back in its holder around his waist. One thing to be said for LA over the Quortoth, clothes are better in LA. Much better. 

"We need to talk." 

"Indeed we do. Sit." 

Spike was being authoritative. He was a little uncomfortable as he didn't know Connor all to well, and this was reflected in the way he sat opposite Connor, shifting a little every few minutes. Connor perched on the edge of the bed as Spike rested on the dresser. After this he found his ground, and Spike decided the only way to go was by dropping the intimidation act and going for pure honesty. 

"I don't know you, Spike. I don't even know if what you've told us is true. But if it is, you're a monster. And you deserve to die. Yet you claim to feel guilt, to have a conscience. A soul. Why haven't you killed yourself?" 

"Because, Connor, there is more to life, and unlife, than vengeance. Killing myself doesn't do anybody any good. It doesn't bring back those that I killed. I'm more helpful to this world undead than alive. I bite the dust, and there's one less fighter for good on this earth. You understand?" 

"But you should be punished. You have not paid penance for your sins." 

"Oh but I have. Do you know what it's like to be a vampire?" 

"No." 

"Well, it's like this... you kill demons all the time, but think nothing of it, right?" 

"Yeah..." 

"Now think about all the demons who have lost their sisters, or their brothers thanks to you. Imagine young baby creatures, who haven't harmed a single thing in their short existence who now have no one to feed them or protect them. And they're going to suffer and die, because of you." 

"Oh my god." 

"Exactly. Now imagine that instead of killing semi-innocent demons, you've been killing humans. Loads of them. Innocent ones. For over a century." 

"Oh my god." 

"See that pain, the dull repetitive knife stabbing you in the ribs? Do you feel it? *That's* what it feels like when you get a soul. And it doesn't stop. Not for one moment of any day, of any week, of any month. It goes on forever. Always." 

Connor's head dropped as it all sunk in. He almost cried. It was partially because he now understood what real guilt was, and also because he was feeling it. 

"It must be so awful for you. How do you keep going?" 

"Not very well. You know, I've only had this soul for a few months. Don't know how I'll be after a hundred years of it, gnawing away at me. But I'm coping. Just about. Granted, better than your father..." 

The younger one flinched at his mention. Spike noticed, yet ignored it. 

"As you can see, I'm not wandering around moping and eating rats, but if it hadn't been for him, I probably would. He's a good guy, your father is. Wherever he is." 

"I was told... growing up... I was told Angelus was a monster." 

"Angelus is a monster, but you have to see him as two different people. Angelus may have been a cold-hearted calculating bastard, but he was the biggest pansy you've ever seen. Trust me. I remember this one time, we went to see the ballet. Drusilla, your sister I suppose, was in a frightful state, she wanted a ballerina you see. So we went. And we watched it all before picking out a dancer for her. Not to eat mind you, to dance for her. Keep her entertained you know. Angelus claimed before going in that "the grand finale will be a beautiful massacre". You wanna know what really happened at the end?" 

"What?" 

"Weeping like a baby. "But it was so *moving*..." he said! A sap, I swear to you." 

Connor laughed, and Spike had to join in. It was nice, sharing little stories. The air was finally clearing between them. It was a nice break. 

"Yes, well, the thing is, Angelus has a soul now. And he changed. I mean, the guilt alone made him change. We call him Angel now. Helps differentiate between the two. Angel would never hurt you. In fact, I don't think Angelus would either. Especially considering that you're his son." 

"Really?" 

"Oh yeah, definitely. I was like a son to him you know... and he took care of me." 

Spike took a serious tone, as he knew he was getting off track from what he really wanted to know. He also needed Connor on his side, if he was to get what he wanted. 

"I know you know where he is." 

Connor got up and started to pace about the room. Spike never budged from his position on the dresser. 

"No I don't." 

"Is that so? You're a lousy liar." 

"I got rid of him. He killed my father!" 

"*Angel's* your father! Holtz lied to you!" 

"Shut up!" 

Tension started brewing again, and the sensible thing would be to get it under control, but neither party was giving in to sensibility. 

"I won't shut up until you listen! Angel would never kill anyone. Not without good reason. He wouldn't lie to you. If he said he didn't kill Holtz, then he didn't. What makes you think he killed him anyway?" 

"Justine told me of Angelus' crime, and my father had..." 

"He's *not* your father!" 

"*Holtz* had his mark on his neck." 

Spike sighed and glanced at the heavens for an answer. 

"First sign something's up. Think! Why would Angelus kill your father in full sight of someone else? Especially if he didn't want anyone to know?" 

"Well..." 

"Secondly, and even thought it's not a nice image to bring up, I know Angel, and he *doesn't* kill people that way. Biting and drawing blood? Nah. If he wanted Holtz dead, he would have snapped his neck. Quick and easy. I know my Angel, and he doesn't like the mess." 

"Spike, why would Justine lie to me?" 

"You tell me." 

Realisation sunk into Connor as he fell into Spike and it could be seen on his face. Realisation and despair. He'd punished Angel for the wrong crime, and he didn't know how to cope with it. 

"Oh no. No." 

Connor held onto Spike in his sadness. It was almost as though Connor had gained a soul. Spike could see it, and that he was getting through to the boy. And in getting through to the boy, he was getting closer to Angel. 

"Where is he Connor?" 

"I killed him, I made him suffer... I hurt him so much..." 

"He's not dead Connor, he's not. Just tell me where you last saw him, tell me what you know." 

And so Connor spilled it all. The story and his tears. How he'd worked with Justine to pack Angel up and dumped him in the ocean. How Justine had run away and left him once they'd gotten back to shore. How he'd ended up in the one place he felt he could belong. Connor was angry and hurt, but the anger was aimed at himself for being so stupid and acting so stupid. His father, his real father was right. He didn't understand how this world worked. 

"I was so naïve, so easily manipulated..." 

"Yeah? Happens to the best of us. At least you've got an excuse. You're not over 120." 

"You're that old?" 

"Uh huh." 

"You keep yourself well." 

"Thanks." 

Cue awkward silence. 

"Enough with the chit chat. We've got to get him back." 

Now it was Spike's turn to pace. He was racking his brain, trying to get around all the new information. Angel. Bottom of the ocean. Huge iron coffin. Huh. 

"Okay, first of all, you're coming clean to the others out there. Meanwhile, I'm going out to rent us a boat and some diving equipment." 

"What? I can't tell them, they'd kill me." 

"Remember what I said? Won't kill you, they're not like that. You're just going to be grounded for one heck of a long time when your dad gets back here..." 

"But won't they be mad?" 

"Yes, they will be. Very mad. But only for about 5 minutes. It doesn't matter, I'm going to be in there with you anyway. I'm only there for moral support though, I'm not telling them for you. The important thing is that we get Angel back safely. And we have to go quickly. It's coming up to 7:30, and we have to find him and get him back here before sun up. It may take a while to find him. We have to hurry. Come on." 

Connor sat there, fear in his eyes, as he was about to face the music. He was about to be judged. Spike saw it, and smiled. He needed encouragement. 

"He'd die for you, you know that right? Soul or no soul. Angel or Angelus. He looked out for his own. And you're one of us, all right? Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You may not be a vampire, but you're part of my family now. You got that?" 

"I understand." 

"He did everything for you, I'm certain of it. Now you have to do something for him. Can you?" 

"I can." 

"That's what I wanted to hear." 

The two got up and started to move towards the door. As Spike leaned in to open the door, Connor looked up at him in desperate need of some courage. 

"Thank you." 

"No problem Lil' Peach. Don't be so worried. It's things like this that build character. Now let's go. You've got to face your destiny." 

"Indeed I do." 

"You look like him you know? I can see him in you." 

Spike smiled as an idea came to him, one that he found highly amusing. 

"Tell you what. We spin by the shops on our way out to the beach. I'm buying you a leather coat." 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: You guys spoil me, you really do. The reviews are on *two* pages! ::squeals:: Thanks to you guys I'm writing more and faster. Although I've noticed that I seem to favour dialogue over description... is that a good thing? _

Oh and by the way, if you read something being echoed by a character, be it echoing from another chapter or the show itself, there's a reason for it. I haven't been hanging out at the BC&S board for the past year+ without learning a little bit about foreshadowing... That reminds me. Massive shout out to all my BC&S buds! We Rock! NMKTS forever! 

Ahem. I should get back to writing huh? 


	9. The LA Chapter

~*-*~ 

"You did *what*?!" 

Gunn was on fire after hearing what Connor had to say. 

"Charles, sweetie, calm down." 

"What? I am calm. Cool. Collected. I'm a cucumber on ice." 

"Good." 

Fred was relieved as Gunn sat down, only to be worried again as he jumped up again, still not believing the situation. 

"You did *WHAT*?!!" 

Spike had previously decided to leave the LA regulars to their business and watch from the side as they worked out their differences. He would only intervene if and when it was necessary. It was necessary. 

"Alright, sit. Now Connor's being brave here telling you the truth, and I think you owe it to him to not jump at his throat. Connor?" 

"I am really sorry, but I was angry and misguided. Justine abandoned me after what we did, so I cannot punish her for lying to me." 

"What did I just say about Vengeance Peach?" 

"Sorry. Well, I cannot confront her about it now." 

Fred got up and sat beside Connor, who was so upset with himself, he actually appeared to be scared of her as he jumped. 

"What I don't understand is how you could lie to us for so long. I mean, you could have told us. You've seen how we've suffered here worrying about him, and you've known where he is the whole time?" 

"Like I said, I was punishing him for killing my f... Holtz. He deserved to be punished." 

"Angel didn't do anything!" 

Gunn was clearly still heated over the whole issue, although Wesley was very quickly coming to terms with the situation. 

"Well, he realises this now thanks to Spike over there!" 

Connor put his fingers to his mouth as he started to chew at his fingernails. Arguments came few and far between in the Hyperion, in fact the last one was when Wesley came round asking after Connor upon having seen him at a club, and that was a while ago. It was ironic that Connor, a fighter, found tension highly nerve wracking. 

"You've left Angel, in a box, having a brood marathon to the point that he's probably insane. I hope you realise that and can live with what you've done." 

"Charles, this is not about blame." 

"Oh! It is about blame!" 

"Gunn, stop it." 

Wesley calmed the group down. 

"I am really, really sorry. You've been so good to me and I've let you down. And I'm just, sorry." 

"That's okay." 

"Yeah, it's forgotten now." 

"All in the past." 

The four of them, Connor, Gunn, Fred and Wesley joined together in a group hug, leaving Spike out on side. Happily out on the side. 

"I'm really sorry." 

"It's alright. We forgive you." 

Spike groaned as the hug went on. He thought he'd left the Scoobs, now he was stuck with SuperScoobs LA Precinct - Cuddlers Extraordinaire. 

"As much as I love to see people all happy and soppy and the like, now is not the time! We can do this later. Right now we need to focus on the problem in hand. Getting Angel back. Now I've come up with a plan and it's so crazy it just might work." 

Wesley took in this information and thought it over. 

"Erm, if I may interrupt. William... Spike, when it comes to your plans they tend to... on record they haven't exactly... well they have a habit of... Basically they're crap." 

"Wes, you're not really making me feel so secure here!" 

"Gunn, don't worry, my plans work fine." 

"Fine? What about the St Vigeous thing in 1998? Or how about the incident in Argentina in 1930? And let's not forget your Gem of Amarra stint of Angel on a spike... That came out wrong." 

"All right, all right, maybe they don't, but I don't see anyone else coming up with anything! So here's the deal. Wesley, go and get us some blood. Lots of it too. He's been down there for months, and after being starved for that long he's going to come out as rabid as Angelus." 

"Oh God..." 

"Fred, Gunn. I need a boat with some kind of retrieval unit or whatever. I don't know boats. Something with a retractable chain thing, put it that way. If this coffin contains Angel it'll be large and heavy, we'll need more than a rope. Don't bother with diving equipment. I'm going down to find the exact location, and I don't exactly need an oxygen tank. Connor and I are going for blowtorches." 

"*Blowtorches*?!" 

"I welded the casket shut. I didn't want him getting out." 

"And there's nothing strange about that!" 

Spike clapped his hands and rubbed them together in an attempt to stop Connor getting another earful. 

"All right then everyone? Wesley, blood. Fred Gunn, boat. Connor, blow. We meet back up at the beach in an hour. Let's go!" 

There was an odd pause there. 

"Since when were you in charge? You're not Angel." 

"Watcher, I have no intention to be. I just want my sire back." 

There was another pause as everyone realised they had a common purpose. Bang. Time to go. Fred headed to the computer on a quest for boat hire, Wesley grabbed some cash for what would be a major blood haul, Connor ran back for his new wallet he was so proud of and Spike grabbed one of Angel's knee length leather coats. 'Twas no match for his duster, but he had left that at Buffy's that night, and clearly he didn't want to return to get it back. Besides, this coat still smelt of Angel, and that helped him not only focus on what he had to do but also give him hope. Here was a soul that Spike needed to save, and this time, it was personal. He adjusted his collar once, twice, and went with Connor out the door. Once outside Connor turned to him with a look of puzzlement on his face. 

"Spike?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Can I ask you one more thing?" 

"Shoot. Although not literally..." 

"Earlier, when I attacked you. You stopped me. How did you manage that? No one's ever stopped me before, well except..." 

"...except Angel huh? It's called experience mate. I have it. Don't be so glum, I'll help you train sometime." 

"Really?" 

"Promise. And if there's one thing you should know, it's that I don't break promises." 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: It's Results Day. A-levels **suck!** I'm not looking forward to getting my results today, so if this chapter isn't so good, put it up to my rather terrified state of mind. I may rewrite it and post another one up. With that in mind, good luck to anyone else who's suffering the same problem and those GCSE people who have this gut stabbing feeling coming up next week. Isn't being a teenager the most wonderful feeling in the world? note **extreme** sarcasm _... 


	10. The Spike And Gunn Show

~*-*~ 

"Where the hell have you been?" 

"Where the hell have *I* been? Where the hell have *you* been?!" 

Spike and Connor were late. Fred and Gunn were late. Wesley had been waiting for over an hour. Spike and Gunn went head to head again. Wesley was too tired to protect their egos. Truth was, they'd both failed on a chronological scale. 

"Stop it you lot. You're both late, and I've been waiting here forever. I have a rather large vat full of blood over here and I'm not really in the mood for arguments. Did you get the boat?" 

"Fred is bringing it in. See the light out to the east there?" 

"Excuse me mate, I think you'll find that's north..." 

"Shut up!" 

"Hey, since when did your girl know how to operate a boat anyways?" 

"Since manufacturers made them idiot proof. They work like cars." 

"Except on water, and without wheels, and much much larger..." 

"Shut up." 

"Whatever you say Charlie boy..." 

"*Don't* call me that, unless you want a rather wooden object in your chest." 

Wesley did not have any time for this and was growing further impatient with Spike and Gunn's testosterone fuelled display. 

"Stop it you two. I see the boat, it's getting closer. Good. Spike, did you get the blowtorches and other things?" 

"I've got most of it, Connor's getting the last bits out of the car now." 

Spike gestured behind him, and that's when they saw Connor. Wesley's eyes grew wider and Gunn's mouth was actually agape. Spike smirked as he got the reaction that he was hoping for. There was Connor moving towards them carrying some cables in his hands. But that wasn't the shocking part. Connor was dressed in black jeans with and a half buttoned blue shirt, opened at the top. He'd clearly acquired some new silver jewellery too. This would all be fine, since Connor's fashion sense had been loosening up over the summer. Maybe not this much, but it wouldn't be completely off. The piece that set it all off was the leather jacket, no wait - this was a coat, that hung off him and settled around his knees. Connor continued to move towards the men, when the ocean wind picked up speed. As he walked along the beach his coat billowed behind him and all Spike could do was laugh. 

"You took him shopping didn't you?" 

"Indeed I did Gunn, indeed I did. I see no harm in treating my nephew. I've got the cash." 

"Nephew? I figure he's your uncle, since Angel's your grandsire..." 

"One, I was born in the 19th century. He was born in the 21st. I'm not calling him uncle. Secondly, Darla was his mother, and if Drusilla is now both my sire and Darla's, that makes him my nephew. So there. I'm inclined to stick my tongue out at you, but I won't bother." 

"For the record, your vampire family confuses the hell out of me. Fred's here. Let's get aboard." 

Spike took the cables out of Connor's hands and picked up a gas canister, as Gunn did the same. 

"So Spike, what happened in Argentina 1930?" 

"You don't wanna know..." 

They climbed aboard the boat greeting Fred, Gunn's greeting being much friendlier than Spike's of course, leaving Wesley and Connor on the beach. 

"What just happened?" 

"What do you mean? They're just loading up to go that's all." 

Wesley smiled to himself because he just couldn't get over Connor's look. He glanced away from him to pick up the container full of blood and to avoid Connor seeing him laugh, but he failed. 

"No, when you all saw me, it was like I did something wrong and it was funny. Is there something wrong with my hair?" 

_Well, it's not sticking straight up..._

"Your hair's fine Connor. It's your outfit. When you dress like that you look like, you *are*, your father. It's nice. All you need now is to retire to a wall, lean on it and brood. If he saw you now he'd be so happy." 

Connor was smiling. For the first time he felt proud of his father. Granted, he wasn't proud of himself cause he'd tossed him to the bottom of the Pacific, but he was willing to let that slide. And if Spike was right, he'd be forgiven for it anyway. But time was running short. They had to get Angel and get him indoors before sun up. 

"Let me help you with that." 

So Connor and Wesley picked up the cooler and headed towards the boat, before it headed out. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: I am *soo* sorry this took so long! I didn't have access to my computer so I was kinda stuck... but I have it all in my brain! It just has to be typed up. I will finish this story before I go back to school, I swear it. Short chapter I know, but I've been writing a few chapters ahead and something good is coming up, I even made myself laugh. I can see you waiting with baited breath... Oh and Madi baby? Can't wait for the party tonight! _

The most important point is this: it's August 20th and you know what that means... PARTÉ!!! does the dance of JM appreciation. Nummy... 


	11. Pure Incidentals

~*-*~ 

First it was air, and then it was water. Spike didn't even quite remember how he dived, but he had shed the coat he'd borrowed from Angel, was on the edge of the boat, took a deep breath (before being reminded by Wes that he didn't need to) and plunged. He was on his mission to find the location of Angel's tomb, and he didn't have much time. He estimated 5 hours at most until sunrise, and he had no idea where Angel was. He was given an expanse, an ocean in fact, and not just any ocean but the Pacific, to find him in. Spike adjusted to not using his lungs, as he'd always done, despite how unnecessary. He allowed the water to wash over him and get used to the feeling before starting the quest to find his sire. The vampire began by allowing himself to sink slowly, going down little by little, so as to become accustomed to the pressure changes. Once that happened, he was off. And he just moved downward. Spike looked around completely amazed at the beauty that lay before him. Just the clear blue he could see was gorgeous enough, and the true beauty of the ocean he hadn't even experienced yet. He decided not to get dragged away from his purpose and continued on his downward motion. But the more he swam, the more amazing it was. It was a rainbow of exotic fish that one could only describe as magic. And they weren't even afraid of him, swimming right up to his face and staring into his eyes before swimming off with the rest of the school. There was more, bigger fish, eels, crabs, everything you'd read about but never seen in front of your very eyes. Zoos had nothing on this experience. Truly seeing the ocean, and the creatures in their natural habitat. Words could not describe it. 

Spike continued searching, feeling the weight on him as he was in the Pacific. That was until he saw what he was looking for. An almost green grate, getting closer becoming more grey to the eye. This was it. Spike got more excited as he brushed the fish off to one side getting closer and closer to the iron box. He was at the side of it. Iron wall. Swimming around to the next side. Iron wall. Moving around once more. Iron wall. The fourth and final side that therefore by process of elimination must have Angel behind it. Iron grate. Open iron grate. 

This meant one thing. Angel was missing. 

Spike inspected the box to the best of his ability, looking at what evidence he had. It was obvious the front had been forced, but it appeared that it had been forced from the outside. Angel hadn't fought his way out, something had taken him out. 

"Fantastic. Just bloody fantastic that is. I'd have to be hit over the head before things ever get simple around here." 

_You never learn do you? Keep your mouth shut._

Blackout. Spike had been hit over the head. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: First of all, you may not think I've noticed you but I have. I make a point of saying this: "I Love You AncientPeas!". So lovely to me... It's a short chapter I know, but I dedicate it to you. To everyone else, I finally have a beta reader! My darling Lizzie The Barking Hamster, who by the way, is a school chum of mine. _

For all those who have been asking about where the plot is going, I know I've been dancing about of late but I will say this much: Things are about to get **very** interesting... 


	12. Deluxe Puzzle, 1000 Pieces

~*-*~ 

"Hey baby, you tired?" 

Gunn had wandered into the main cabin to find his girlfriend stretched out on a bench looking almost half asleep. 

"What? No. Just a little sick." 

"You never told me you got seasick." 

Fred was confused. 

"Seasick? No, not seasick. Hungry sick. I haven't eaten since we left and that was hours ago." Fred said, checking her watch. "I think that being awake all this time when I really should have been sleeping has worked up my appetite." 

"That's true, he's been in the water a long time. You don't think he's drowned do you?" 

"Erm... Charles?" 

"Right, right. Vampire. Forgot about that." 

Fred sat up as Gunn moved to sit with her. He placed his arm around her shoulder, ushering her to rest her head, as he did the same against the wooden panelling. 

"You hungry baby?" 

"Yeah." 

"We could turn the boat around and go to one of those beach stores for a bite." 

"And break our morning waffle tradition? No way!" 

Gunn smiled at Fred with caring and affection. It had taken them a while to get as far in their relationship but now they were comfortable. Well, as comfortable as any sleep deprived couple could be in a boat off the coast of California. 

"Besides, we can't go now anyway. Spike's off saving Angel and we've got to be here to bring them up." 

"Fred, it's about an hour until sunrise. If they do make it back, they'll soon become first class residents of an urn. A good urn mind you, cause we're not cheap." 

"You see, I've been thinking about that. I have a theory that they might not. Cause it works like this. The water may serve as like a filter for the sunlight." 

"Go on..." 

"The sunlight can't travel in its whole form through that much water. Basically, it all depends on what part of sunlight is harmful for vampires. And even if impure sunlight can make a vampire burn, this ocean is so deep that even light can't penetrate to the bottom. Angel's always led me to believe it's direct sunlight only, so I'll assume that as long as Spike and Angel stay under water, they'll be fine." 

"In that case, why don't vampires have a society under the sea?" 

"Maybe they do. You don't know that!" 

They looked into each other's eyes, their faces emotionally dead, looking close to angry. That was before Fred erupted in laughter and Gunn had to follow. The notion of an under ocean vampire cult was too amusing to keep a straight face about. 

"All right, maybe that was a silly idea. But you're basically saying that they'll be fine without us being here, cause if they do surface, they'll have to very quickly un-surface." 

"Exactly. Well, that or go with my second theory, which is that they are actually burning down there, except being in water means that the two effects cancel each other out." 

"So, you're saying that Spike and Angel don't need us here to wait for them..." 

Gunn started gently pulling on his petite girlfriend's ear with his teeth causing her to giggle, the response he intended. 

"They don't..." 

"Which means we could take the boat back to harbour and get something to eat..." 

"We could..." 

"And I'll get your favourite..." 

"Deep fried chicken parts?" 

"I was thinking a pancake breakfast, but if that's what you want first thing in the morning then sure..." 

Gunn moved his oral assault to his girlfriend's neck. 

"Well then, let's get this boat back to shore and get some food!" 

"Charles?" 

"What?!" 

"Angel and Spike..." 

"Right. The vampires." 

He sighed, annoyed that he was going to so much trouble for a pair of bloodsuckers. It was frustrating for him, since he preferred clear-cut rules and boundaries. Angel, and now Spike, just proved to blur the good and bad together even more, making decisions difficult. It could never be 'find demon, kill demon, celebrate' anymore. There were ethics involved too. Far too much hassle for hunting these days. 

"Man, he's been down there since around 10 o'clock last night! It's less than an hour until sunrise now. What the hell is keeping him so long?" 

"It's the Pacific Charles. Pretty big area to look through." 

"Fine. We stick around for them, until sunrise. Then we turn back. We can come back at sundown. That's cool right?" 

"Makes sense to me. Just have to tell Connor and Wesley." 

"I'll go tell Wes. Connor's fast asleep. Little guy's worn out, consequence of being a teenager I suppose." 

The male got up, leaving the female resting as he found her, and moved towards the door, not before taking a last look at his girlfriend. 

_I'm such a lucky guy._

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: I'm not going to lie. Some chapters are hard to write. But I told myself that I was going to write a full cast fic, and goddammit! That means every last character has a plot and will develop. So... don't be assuming that life's going to be all blood and peaches for our Fred & Gunn here, oh no. I have plans. Big scary uber-plans! Haha! Yeah! I know you're shaking in your stylish yet affordable boots... _

Heehee! I love nuns. And I'm not drunk, I'm just a tad tipsy. There is a lot to be said for drinking whiskey. And so I take this opportunity to let everyone know that the sun shines out my arse. That's right! One of these days I will bend over, bare my buttocks and allow you all to be blinded! 

Oooooh! I can officially say that as of the chapter I just wrote (but has not yet been beta'ed hence why I'm not uploading it) this fic will be rated R. Or at least I think so. I start inferring a bit more. 

Beta'ed. That's a good question. What is the past tense of beta? 

Tracey! Little Miss Booboo Alert! I figured it out. My booboo wasn't a booboo. Moonlight! Mwahahahaha! 

You know what I find bizarre? No one's asked me about the pairing of this fic. That is, if it has a pairing. What is the pairing? God knows. Oh wait, I don't! 

Yeah, I've had a lot to drink. Clearly not too much, cause I can still type. But enough that I'll do something I'll regret. Like having an author's note that's longer than the chapter. 

..............I'm going to shut up now. 


	13. Attack Of The Giant Floating Banana

~*-*~ 

Ohhh, my head! Wait a minute, not my head. It's on a pillow. Huh? 

Right, let's think back. Went diving in the Pacific. Swam around looking for Angel. Found he'd gone missing. Got knocked over the head. Ah ha! There lies the reason for the pain in my noggin. Except now I'm resting, in a bed. Someone knocked me unconscious and left me to go to sleep. Well aren't these the world's greatest kidnappers! Spoke to soon, oh God! My pillow's moving. That would be because it's not a pillow. Am I going insane? What was I resting my head on then? It's someone's chest. It can't be. Now I really hope I'm not insane. It's Angel. It's my Angel. He's here, in the same bed I am. The people who knocked me out must have been the same people who took him. God knows how long he's been with whoever stole him, cause he's not as thin as a vampire who hasn't been feeding should be. This is good, you know, that he's had some blood. He won't be as ravenous and as primal as I expected. 

He's shifting in his sleep. His brow is furrowing up. He's dreaming again. Nightmares. Tormented every night. At least he's managed to sleep through it. He's not waking up. Will I have to go through this for a century before being able to sleep peacefully? I bloody hope not. At least now I understand what he's going through. He reminds me of those dogs that you can see running in their sleep, mentally chasing cats or something. He can feel himself doing something, and he's trying to stop it. Reliving the past. I've got to calm him down. There you go. Shhh now... 

This is a right change, I'll tell you that much. Me watching him. It's not supposed to be like this. It never was. Back in the day it was very much the other way around. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: My chapter titles started out being normal, now they're getting more and more cryptic. Prize to whomever can decipher them all... _

I'm so not the type to plead, so I'm just going to drop a few hints here and there. If you want a writer to get better... they need feedback. Especially in situations where they are writing their first fanfic... My, would you look at that anvil! 


	14. Insufferable

~*-*~ 

He shuffled his newly undead feet with apprehension as he stood in front of the door. He knew that he had to knock, but he didn't want to. To say he was scared was an understatement. His hand went up to the door to knock... then stopped. He paced for a while. Stopped and stared at the mahogany beauty in front of him before pacing again. Then he stopped, and took a deep unnecessary breath and tried to knock on the door except he couldn't knock because it had been opened. Shite. He was going to be in trouble. He knew it. 

_**London 1880**_

"What is it boy?" 

He was silent. Nervous even. 

"Come on now, spit it out. Cannae ye not see that I'm otherwise engaged?" 

The very naked Angelus gestured towards a very naked and now very annoyed Darla lying rather openly on his bed. 

"Sorry Angelus, didn't know." 

"Didn't know? Didn't know?! Oh please. Ye know what I do every night Will, don't lie to me." 

"What's wrong *this* time?" 

Angelus turned to his sire. 

"It's just Will. Pay no mind to it." 

"I will pay mind to it Angelus. It's the third time this week! What's happened now?" 

"Ye heard the lady. What's happened this time?" 

"It's Drusilla." 

Darla was vexed and getting rather restless. 

"Drusilla? That's it! Angelus, stake the girl! Stake the boy!" 

"You know I cannae stake the lad. He shows promise. You should have seen him last night. Murdering like the best of them. He's going to be my special boy." 

"You said the same about Penn and look where that ended up. The whole point of him was to keep Drusilla amused. It's not working so just get rid of them both!" 

"Ignore her my lad, she's just desperate for sex. Come in." 

"What?" "What?!" 

Darla and William said in unison, one a little surprised on being asked in when Angelus and Darla were clearly in the middle of something, the other being irritated since it had been centuries since she had an audience. Angelus just ignored the two of them, since he always got his way. He pulled William further into the room and moved towards his bed where he continued with Darla where he'd left off. William had only been a member of the living dead for a fortnight and so was unaccustomed to their openness and clearly over sexed nature. That wasn't inbuilt in the demon like the bloodlust was, it was something you were taught, if you were properly raised that is. Angelus made careful note to teach all his children well. Barring the insane one who was the cause of William's visit, because she could not be reached. William shifted from foot to foot and glanced around observing the heavily curtained windows and anything else he could observe. He really didn't know where to put his eyes. There was something about watching people making love that didn't seem right. 

"What are ye standing there for? Sit!" 

He motioned towards the empty side of the bed and William obeyed as he knew he should. Best course of action to avoid the thrashing he received the week before... 

"What's the matter now Will?" Angelus began amidst thrusting atop Darla's fragile form. 

"The way you're acting, I'd think ye'd never seen real passion before." 

It had nothing to do with the fact that he was watching in on two people since he'd done so before, it was just that the whole situation was rather odd. Rather odd was an understatement in fact. This was downright bizarre. 

"So tell me, what's wrong with Drusilla?" 

"Oh for God's sake. Are you having a conversation or are fucking me? Make up your mind!" 

"Both my sweet. Call it good time keeping. Hush up love, don't pretend you don't love this..." 

Darla pondered this for moment, and realised he was right. For some reason this new situation was far more erotic. She left her complaints about the boys and got back to fondling herself to feel better. 

"So, about Drusilla, you were saying?" 

"She's mewing that she can't sleep without you. She needs you up there. I've tried to console her but she insists." 

"Uurgh..." 

Angelus never let up for one moment. 

"I see. Well, my best... hey scoot over a bit would ye?" 

William moved and perched even more precariously on the edge of the bed, wondering why he was being asked to move all of a sudden. Then he was answered. Angelus, without ever removing himself from within Darla, held her tightly to him before rolling right over until she could sit up and straddle him. 

"Wow," William commented. "That was quite a manoeuvre." 

"Thanks." 

William gave up, as this whole situation was silly. He adjusted himself so he was comfortable, but he was so close to the loving couple that every time Darla moved, she was rubbing up against them both. Not that William was objecting to this in the least... 

"As I was saying Will, my best advice was to put her dolls to sleep." 

"They're not tired. The stars are singing too loudly for them to sleep." 

Angelus' hands rested on Darla's hips as she ground her pelvis into him over and over again. He slowly moved his hands up to her waist, before grabbing his side. 

"Ah! I think I did my back in yesterday. Fondle her bosom for me would ye? Don't want to go straining meself unnecessarily." 

He was answered by a rising of William's eyebrows in questioning, and that was in turn answered by a scowl that said '_Do it or I'll spank you_'. William did as he was told. 

"Well, have you tried placing her Maleficent in a bowl of water? That sometimes does the trick." 

"Not this time. I even tried putting Miss Edith and Miss Charlotte in warm milk and that didn't work. Normally it wouldn't matter, but she really needs to sleep." 

"Aaahhhh..." 

"Darla, can't ye see we're having a conversation here?" 

This conversation continued, completely ignoring Darla's moans of pleasure. 

"Last resort young Will. If the stars sing too loudly, you could wrap all the dolls ears." 

"Come on Angelus!" 

William's hands left Darla in a moment of frustration. 

"You know how many dolls *you* bought for her. It would take a century before I could wrap them all." 

"Oooooooh!" 

"Dammit woman! Can't ye have an orgasm in silence?" 

That shut her up. The youngest vampire frowned in puzzlement before continuing to give Darla's breasts the attention they deserved. 

"Tell you what then boy, I'll be up in a few moments to try and calm her down. Tell her that." 

"Thanks Sire." 

He then bent down and flicked his tongue across Darla's nipple. 

"Hey, hey hey! My woman!" 

William gave Angelus what was soon to become his trademark smirk and then he left and returned to Drusilla. 

It was a little while later that Angelus, having recovered his strength gently pushed the bedroom door to avoid the creaking to wake the children. Fortunately, one was awake, and the one that wasn't awake had a tendency to sleep like the dead. Funny, since he was dead. Drusilla was still wide-awake, sitting in bed with her knees firmly held against her chest. She merely rocked back and forth, and her cheeks were stained as she'd been crying for a while. Angelus let his eyes wander to the younger of the two who had clearly fallen asleep trying. Poor boy, exhausted beyond imagination. He had blood on his cheek, scratched he could see. Drusilla must have lashed out at some point whilst agitated. 

"Dru..." 

"Angel." 

Angelus crept into the bed and crawled in between the two. He laid back and took Drusilla in his arms. 

"My angel... I had a terrible fright..." 

"Shhh now. 'Tis all right. Daddy's here." 

_God, I wish I hadn't driven her this mad._

Drusilla was still clutching at his chest but she was calmer now. Angelus kept a hand rubbing circles in the small of her back, and it seemed to be working. Except he could feel another hand on him. William had subconsciously rolled over and now mirrored Drusilla, clutching on to him in the exact same way. It was quite a sight. 

Angelus took this opportunity to admire his new family. He had on one side his dark wonder, and on the other his bright light. They complimented each other. And they were fabulous out on the hunt. He'd taught them well. He admired Drusilla in the manner he had done for a while. She still wasn't able to sleep alone. Since being turned, she'd slept in the same bed as Darla and Angelus, and now she didn't. It had taken her a while to come around to it, and hopefully she'd get better soon as she got closer to what was technically her Childe. Granted, Angelus wasn't planning on raising him that way, he was raising him as his own, but the bond between Drusilla and William had to grow stronger. It started with the sleeping arrangements. At least now he was in bed with them both, Drusilla had finally stopped moving. She was asleep. Angelus turned his focus away from her, and to the newest member of the pack. William. William the Bloody or so he'd heard on his late night pub-crawls. Being dead didn't stop his taste for liquor. Angelus leaned forward and gently allowed his tongue to clean up the blood that remained on William's face. His blood tasted slightly different than usual, but this was ignored as William's brows furrowed in his sleep. 

_What's wrong with him?_

Angelus watched him as he grew more frustrated. 

"Shhh... Come on now Will! This ain't no time to be whimpering. Aww... ye cannae hear me can ye?" 

Angelus thought about what to do. He'd take William out on hunt alone tomorrow without the women. Up near the railway. There were always easy pickings there. He rubbed his back in the same way he'd done to Drusilla, and it had the same effect. 

"There you go. Shhh now..." 

Angelus knew his brood. He smiled at his two creations. Angelus kissed both his children on the forehead before allowing himself to fall asleep with them in his arms. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: It's been a long long time, I will never let such a gap happen ever again babes I promise, but I had to have these two chapters out together to prevent the previous one seeming too... what's the word?... **slashy**. Not that I'm in anyway opposed to Angel/Spike slash, I mean, I'm in full support of it, I just never planned on writing it. It is in fact my favourite pairing, hence why there are the undertones so far. Deep in my psyche, behind everything, Spike and Angel are just going at it 24 hours a day... ::sigh::_


	15. Sour Surrender

~*-*~ 

**_Los Angeles 2002_**

I could sit here forever and he wouldn't wake up. The man sleeps like the dead. 

He's still thin. Well, he could never be thin, but he's not the same as he was before. A little bit on the lean side maybe. I dunno. I'm used to a different sort of Angelus. He looks so vulnerable like this. It's not natural for him. It's not natural for me! I've never watched him sleep since he abandoned us last century, and during his cameo appearance where he tried to suck the world into hell he wasn't himself. Angelus would never try to destroy the world. He'd drive everyone insane and watch everyone destroy themselves. I think I'm helping. He seems to be calmer now. Not that it'll last much longer. 

I wish we could stay like this forever, but that's ridiculous. I have to wake him up, and find out what to do. Find out who's been keeping him here. Find out who's been feeding him, because someone has. 

"Angel? Angel! Angelus!" 

That's when the voices start. Heavenly voices. Dear God, please don't let me turn in Drusilla... 

"Leave him be." "Let him sleep." "Let him rest." 

"What? Who is that?" 

"He needs to rest." "Leave our Champion alone." 

"Your champion? What the hell?" 

The voices won't stop! Hands... oh God. Hands. They're pulling me up and away from him. 

"Stop it! Leave off!" 

"Don't disturb the Champion." "You were going to awaken him." 

Something tells me struggling is useless here. 

A flash of blue, and I'm out. 

Again. 

Bugger. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Now, I can explain, please let me explain... oh why won't you let me explain!!! See, it happened like this, and I can explain-remember! I had inspiration for a chapter. Except the chapter isn't for another 8 chapters (I have a chapter guide, which tells me in which direction the story should be heading). So I wrote the chapter. I was intending to fill the gap periodically, except then I read one of my reviews. ****_"Why are you begging for feedback? ... the average author is lucky of they get 10 for any one story."_ Thanks jmchau, you opened my eyes. I went off on a Glory type rant for about a week after reading that - "I feel guilty now. But wait, I'm not supposed to feel guilty! I'm a god!" - and then I couldn't write any more for like a month. I felt so bad asking for reviews you know? You may laugh, but I'm serious. I felt awful. So I take this opportunity to take back what I said. Review only if **you** feel it's necessary. I was only able to write more once I forgave myself. Hope you guys can forgive me too! (But if it makes you feel better, I've been writing non-stop so far this weekend. Expect at least 2 more chapters by Sunday's end.) _


	16. I'll Never Let Go

~*-*~ 

"Well, looky here. Good morning." 

"Morning? Oh, thanks Wes." 

It was after midday when the teenager had finally awoken after sleeping a full ten hours. He awoke to find Wesley sitting across from him sipping from a cup. Tea. How stunningly original. 

"Well, more like afternoon really. Nothing beats sleeping in sea air does it Connor?" 

"I guess not. What's going on?" 

Connor had noticed that the buildings seemed an awful lot larger than they did when he fell asleep. Which meant only one thing. 

"Wesley, where are we?" 

"Now now, no need to get serious," Wesley joked at the use of his full name. "We've docked Connor. It was after sunrise and we were all hungry. We'll head back out around sundown." 

"But what about Spike? And my dad?" 

Connor was agitated. 

"Let's face it, if Spike does find Angel then he can hardly surface until after the sun goes down so there's no point in hanging around at sea. We didn't take enough food for us, we never thought it would take this long." 

"Where's Gunn, and Fred?" 

"They left to go back to the hotel. Eat something, have a shower. That kind of thing. I'm just watching you and the boat. They'll be back and we can switch. I can make some hot chocolate inside if you want." 

Connor nodded and Wesley left him on deck with his thoughts. 

_It's a strange feeling, to feel completely lost. To have been lied to your whole life. It's numbing. Not knowing where you belong, not knowing what to think. What to believe. You don't know what's the truth anymore. And that's all I want. The truth. Not all demons are evil, are they? Is my father really a monster? Who am I supposed to trust?_

Wesley came out and handed one of the mugs he held to his surrogate nephew. They both stood there in silence staring out into the expanse of the Pacific, before sipping their drinks every so often. Wesley was the closest to Connor as through the months they'd been together, Wesley had a reason to draw to him. Almost asking for forgiveness. In the end, they now had to ask forgiveness of the same person. Angel. 

"It's beautiful isn't it?" 

"I suppose it is." 

"There weren't oceans like this in the Quortoth." 

"No, I don't suppose there was." 

And then the silence ensued. Connor was the one to break it once again. 

"He hates us, doesn't he?" 

Wesley didn't need to wonder which 'him' Connor was referring to. 

"No no no. Me maybe, you never." 

"What happened? Why do you think he hates you?" 

Connor looked at Wesley with pleading eyes. 

"Please don't lie to me Wesley. I have to know. I've been manipulated my whole life. Don't be like everyone else." 

"What do you want Connor?" 

"The truth." 

Wesley sighed. He was torn between being honest to Connor and breaking the trust that was so highly important in their relationship. Their friendship was probably the healthiest one within the Hyperion, as the Fred and Gunn were still on tenterhooks around the both of them. 

"I really don't know how much I should tell you Connor. I don't know how much your father wants you to know, and if I go against his wishes then who knows what I'd have to do to make it up to him. As someone once said, 'Atonement's a bitch'." 

"Who said that?" 

"It's irrelevant who said it. Fact is, it's true. The important thing is that you still trust me." 

There was an uneasy pause. 

"I trust you Wes." 

Wesley took a deep breath before starting. He kept his eyes looking outwards towards the ocean, never looking at Connor once. 

"We all have a destiny Connor. Some people to do good, some to do evil. We can choose to waver along the path set for us by the Powers that Be, but prophecies don't lie. Or at least, that's what I was made to believe. You probably don't think so, but I understand how you feel. Living a lie. Being programmed. I realise now that it happened to me. Before working with your father I was a Watcher." 

"What's a Watcher?" 

"Have you heard of The Slayer?" 

"No." 

_I swear we should invest in leaflets instead of reeling this off all the time_ the ex-watcher thought. 

"Unto every generation a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world, one born with the strength and skill to fight demons and slay vampires and stop their spread of evil. A Vampire Slayer. But they aren't born knowing how to fight, and how to harness their true power. So The Watcher's Council trains them. But becoming a Watcher is also a predestined thing too. I became a Watcher, and I was taught everything I needed to know to help my Slayer, whoever I was given to, well, watch. It's only now I realise just how much we were conditioned to believe things. Take this whole deal with your father. It was a prophecy Connor. That's where it all started. All problems start with fate." 

"What was the prophecy? Did it have something to do with me?" 

"It had everything to do with you. I checked the prophecies over and over and still got nowhere. Hell I talked to a giant hamburger and I ended up with the same thing." 

"Giant hamburger?" 

"Don't ask. They all kept saying the same thing. It was destined that Angel would revert to Angelus and kill you. And I loved you far too much to allow him to do that. I knew it was a risk, but I thought that I could take you, get you out of the state, maybe the country and prevent it from happening. Except that's when Justine found me, and slit my throat before taking you." 

"The scar. She gave that to you?" 

Wesley nodded. 

"I can't believe I trusted her." 

"Don't beat yourself up over it. You were brought up to trust the wrong people, just how I was brought up to believe the wrong things. This is the perfect situation for you to have an identity crisis and get away with it you know." 

Wesley thought back to his own identity crisis where he had a brief flirtation with a certain Ms Morgan. Fortunately that was over and he'd made his point to her clear. Lilah had gotten the message and hadn't bothered him in months. 

"I don't want to talk about your destiny Connor, I think it's your father's duty to tell you that. That is of course if he does tell you, since sometimes it's better to just let these things work out on their own. In any event, there was a demon and he wanted you dead. It turned out that he had faked the prophecy and Angel was never going to turn evil. It was all for nothing. Holtz had stolen you from Angel, you were in the Quortoth and it was my fault. So he was furious, and tried to kill me. I don't blame Angel for trying to kill me. He loves you." 

"So that's why you think he hates you." 

"I don't think, I know. He hates me. End of story." 

Connor thought back on this. 

_Holtz never said all this. He'd given part of this story but most of it wasn't true. Wes wouldn't lie to me, he has no reason to lie. Holtz never told me the whole story. How much else had been a lie? About me, about my father... My father. Angel. Angelus._

"Tell me about Angelus." 

Wesley was startled as this question came out of blue. 

"You know about Angelus." 

"No I don't. Or at least, I don't know if I do. I don't know how much of what I was told was a lie, if not all of it. I need the whole story, without it being manipulated for someone's end. You'll tell me won't you? That's why I like you Wes. You don't lie to me." 

_Wow. He has so much faith in me._

"You're right Connor, you need to know. The question is, does Angel want you to know? If he doesn't then telling you is a sure fire way for him to hate me more." 

"Let me be the judge of that. You said it yourself that I have to know. So tell me, who is he really?" 

This was turning out to be one of the hardest conversations that Wesley was ever a part of. Every time Connor asked a new question about his father, Wesley was walking a fine line. Every time Connor asked a new question Wesley knew that he either had to tell the truth to remain trustworthy or value his previous friendship with Angel by keeping silent. Every time Connor asked a new question, Wesley chose to remain trustworthy and not betray Connor's confidence. Why? Because the worst spot in hell is reserved for those who betray. 

"Holtz didn't lie to you. He told the truth about Angelus. Or, at least, he told you what was the truth when he was around in the 18th century. Back then, he was the epitome of evil. He was an expert in the fields of both physical and mental torture. After becoming a vampire he lashed out and in an act of vengeance for the life he'd led, he and your mother killed everyone in his home village. The two of them broke away from the rest of their vampiric family and went killing across Europe, which was when he and your Holtz crossed paths. Darla and Angel returned to England some time in the mid 19th century and Angel drove Drusilla, the girl Spike mentioned, insane and then sired her. Later they found Spike and sired him. As a new family they left for the continent. They continued to kill mercilessly until they arrived in Romania in 1898." 

"So he is a monster then, and Holtz was right." 

"He was right Connor. As far as he knew. The point is Holtz formed your opinion based on what he saw, and he saw very little. The story of what happened in Romania is vital for anyone who wants the truth. Holtz didn't know, or if he did, he wasn't willing to know. Too consumed with vengeance." 

"You mean justice." 

Wesley moved for the first time to look at Connor with a smile. 

"No, I mean vengeance. There's a difference. A difference you're going to have to learn on your own." 

Connor glanced at his now empty mug, reflecting now on both Wesley's last sentence and his previous conversation with Spike. 

"So, what happened then? In Romania?" 

"Well if the Watcher's Diaries are to be believed, and my opinion of them has been greatly shaken of late, Darla gave him a gypsy girl as a gift. Except this girl was favoured by her tribe who in turn cursed Angelus with the worst punishment they could concoct." 

"A soul." 

"Indeed. And with a soul comes a conscience. For the rest of eternity he'd have to suffer with the guilt of what he'd done." 

"That's not right." 

That shook Wesley out of his state. He was being questioned. 

"What?" 

"That's not right. If it was for the rest of eternity, why did Spike talk about Angelus coming back?" 

"Ah yes... I'd put that up to nonsensical gypsy craftsmanship. The curse comes with a clause. A rather stupid one if you ask me. Angel would lose his soul if he received one moment of true happiness. One moment where his soul didn't plague his thoughts. Won't happen whilst he's down there though. The guilt is probably driving him insane." 

"Well, if he won't lose his soul, then why's Spike so worried?" 

"Because an insane Angel might not be able to control his demon as well as he would normally." 

Connor nodded and they both stopped and looked out the ocean. They'd both said a lot and didn't know where to go from there. They were back to a state of awkwardness neither were too fond of. 

"So... Gunn and Fred should be here soon?" 

"Yep." 

Silence again. 

"How long do you reckon they'll be?" 

"Not long." 

Silence again. 

"Do you think Spike's found my father?" 

Wesley couldn't keep a straight face for some reason. 

"I don't know. I just don't know. All I can say is this. Whether or not they've found each other, something tells me they're both in their own personal hell. I would *not* like to be either of them right now..." 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Oh yay. Aren't you proud of me? Sticking to my whole "full cast" thing? More soon..._


	17. Reprise To Go

~*-*~ 

This was an all too familiar scene. Seated at a long table. A plate of food with a hundred forks on one side. It was fortunate that even after death, it's one of the things you don't forget how to do. Start on the outside and work your way in. He could even swear there was an altered version of In The Hall Of The Mountain King playing in the background. 

_Somebody is seriously messing with me._

He thought back, trying to get to grips with what was going on. It would be easier if someone stopped knocking him out every few minutes. Whatever was going on, was not good. He'd just have to go back and find Angel then go. 

_I've got to get out of here. The food's probably poisoned..._

Except as he got up, he was pushed back down into his seat. 

"Don't worry about the Champion. He'll be here soon." 

He had to turn to look at the person who was addressing him. 

"Listen here you. I really don't like being knocked unconscious every two... whoa." 

Spike finally looked at his kidnapper. Or kidnappette. This was a woman. A very beautiful woman. A very beautiful naked woman. This may turn into the best kidnapping of Spike's life. 

"Why do you keep calling Angel 'the Champion' Miss..." 

Spike happily eyed the woman that had approached him. He took in her beauty from the oval eyes of a classic green, her pert lips and gorgeous olive skin, her perfect figure that was neither large nor lean, and her breasts that were the perfect size, her long strawberry blonde hair that flowed and curled around her body resting just above her gills. 

_Wait a minute. Gills?_

He finally had a full view of his captor. 

"You, you... you're a... a..." 

"Mermaids Spike. Don't gawp. You look like a fish." 

And that was when Spike finally looked away from the girl and saw Angel waltzing in to what appeared to be a dining room with two rather similar fish-girls on both arms. He seemed to be in perfect health, and was paying an unhealthy amount of attention to his women. This was not a good sign. He was brought to the table and sat opposite Spike, whose mouth had not yet closed since the whole situation was mind-boggling. 

"Thank you ladies. Now! Spike, my boy, what brings you here?" 

"*Don't* you 'my boy' me! I came here to rescue you believe it or not, but when I get here you seem to be perfectly comfortable here... wherever here is. Where is here anyway? An underwater city. Is this Atlantis?" 

"I wish! Please! If I'd found Atlantis, I would have gone to the surface and profited big time. No, it's not. It's Los Angeles babe. L.A. extended. Collection of water demons just moved in and converted the place. This place has clubs better than above land do you know that?" 

Spike's countenance changed from one of anger to one of doubt and confusion. Angel didn't seem to be himself, and there was more to it than just the way he spoke. Even the way he sauntered in to the room. Something was up with him. 

"One, what exactly do you know about clubs, and two, why the bloody hell are you talking like that?" 

Angel on the other hand was also completely aware of his change. He was doing it on purpose. Not that he would let Spike on to the fact, or that Spike would notice. Once Angel put on a different persona, no one would be any the wiser. 

"Like what?" 

"Like that! With the uncaring and nonchalance and all that jazz. Damn it, you're giddy!" 

"I'm not giddy Spike. I just like it here." 

"You *like* it here? You're crazy!" 

It was only then that it dawned on Spike that he was holding a conversation, or arguing, in a rather lavishly styled dining room under the sea. 

"How are you even surviving here underwater? Obviously not suffering from a lack of haemoglobin..." 

_Although a lack of sanity seems to be an issue..._

"Magic. I found some lady friends who..." 

"Fish friends!" 

"*Lady* friends who favour me because of the whole prophesised thing. I'm their Champion. I'm surviving here cause they want me too. You too obviously." 

That was a good question. Angel being favoured was understandable, but Spike? 

_Spike's evil. Why are they helping him? What is he up to this time? Wait... why should I care?_

"Yes but how does it work?" 

Angel gestured to the room around him. 

"None of this is real Spike." 

"Feels pretty real to me." 

"Put your hand into that food. It's not even real. Sure you're here underwater, but once you entered the city gates, the whole system changes. Not too much granted, but it has. Humans could live down here too if they wanted to and could find it. I don't quite get it, but asking questions kinda breaks my omniscient image down here. Spike, they treat me like a God. It's heaven." 

Spike could do nothing but stare at the man...pire that he called his sire. 

"What's wrong with you?" 

"Nothing's wrong with me! I'm just happy! Can't I be happy?" 

"No! Remember? You can't be happy. You being happy results in a killing spree!" 

Angel rolled his eyes. 

"Speaking of which, these mermaids, they haven't tried to make you happy have they?" 

"Nah, they're all prissy little twits really." 

Right. Something was definitely up with Angel, and it was becoming clearer to Spike. Angel wouldn't throw off comments like that. Angelus would. But this wasn't Angelus. Never could be. Being this close, he would be able to tell. Just like he could the first time they met after China. They were about to kill the whelp together before he went to kill the Slayer. Buffy. His thoughts always returned to Buffy. 

_You can travel across the world and to the depths of the ocean and the girl still plagues your thoughts. You've got it *bad*._

"Are you sure they haven't, cause you don't really sound like Angel." 

"Believe me William, it is me. I've just loosened up a little." 

"*Don't* call me that. I accept that you're Angel but just *don't* all right?" 

"Fine Will." 

"That too." 

"Jeez! Who put that rod up your butt?" 

Spike simply could not believe Angel was acting this way. It sure as hell looked like him, and sounded like him, but the attitude just wasn't right. Maybe he was possessed or something... wishful thinking. This was Angel, unfortunately. Spike just had to get through to him. 

"What's so great about living here?" 

"It's just so much fun! Check this out." 

And with that Angel proceeded to float upwards until he was above the table and then began to turn himself forward over and over again. He was doing somersaults. Angel, the calm and sane vampire, was doing somersaults and giggling. He was actually giggling! The image was scary. 

"Oh my God, you're on drugs." 

"I'm not on drugs." 

"Yes you are! Look at you! You're high. You are on some major acid trip!" 

"I'm *not* on drugs!" 

Angel proceeding to tuck himself in and spin faster didn't really help to nullify this comment. 

"Angel, the salt water has gone to your head!" 

"I'm fine Spike. It's not my fault you've become a total weed." 

Spike sighed. This was exhausting. 

_It's not supposed to be this way. I'm not the responsible one!_

"Hey! Get down from there this instant!" 

_Uh oh. Scary childhood flashback._

Angel stopped mid-roll and after recovering from dizziness looked down at Spike. 

"You're not my mother!" 

"Damn straight! But I will not have you looping about like a drunken idiot. What is so special about being here that would make you turn your back on your calling?" 

"It's so relaxing and different. It's a wonderful break." 

Different. Break. Key words. Spike knew what was going on, and now he could regain control of the situation. He got out of his chair and swam upwards to grab Angel by the shoulders and try and shake the attitude out of him. 

"Oh. I get it. That's what this is about. This is just some stupid rebellious streak isn't it? What are you, the world's oldest teenager? Grow up and accept your responsibilities!" 

"Get off! Why are you taking this away from me? I'm finally happy." 

"You're not happy. You're running away. This is not what you're meant to be doing. You're the Champion, or Favoured One of the Powers That Be." 

"Screw the Powers That Be." 

That was it. Twig snapped. Spike was pissed. 

"For God's sake snap out of it! Would you please just calm down, or sulk, or mope, or damn even brood! Just be Angel!" 

"I am Angel!" 

"No you're not. You're a coward. Look at you! You're running away from your destiny because you've found something more comfortable and easy. You're taking this way out because you're lazy and your afraid to stand up to what you're going to have to face up on the surface. Well let me tell you something, I did not risk my life to have you give up on yourself and everything, you hear me?" 

Angel threw him off and they sank towards the floor together. 

"Get. Stuffed." 

"You do realise that the world is going to go to hell if you go through with this rebellious streak don't you? I know you're going to have avert some apocalypse in the near future, because you good types always have to, and when you're not there, your childish outbursts are going to be the cause of everyone in the world dying." 

"I don't care about them." 

Angel shrugged and started to move away. Spike found himself yelling at Angel to get his point across and hopefully reach him. 

"You can be such an ultimate wanker sometimes! Well what about me? What about the people who helped me get here huh? Right now Wes, Fred and Gunn are on a boat counting on me to get you back to them. They've been searching like crazy for you. And you're just going to turn your back on them?" 

"Watch me." 

This called for the big guns. 

"What about Connor?!" 

Angel stopped and faced the younger vampire. 

_Score._

"Yeah, I know about Connor. And we're pretty close now you know. Who do you think told me where to find you huh? You can turn your back on me and you can turn your back on everyone and everything but I *know* you can't turn your back on him." 

_I cannot believe I had to resort to taunting him. I know him well enough to know that he's going to be jealous. I'm close to something that's his. Always protective of his property. Doesn't like to share. With his kills, and with his women. Dear God. He's not finding out about Buffy. No way in hell. I'm not scared... of course I'm not. I'm just being caring and considerate towards him and his health. Wouldn't do him any good to know. Exactly._

The two vampires just stood and stared at each other. The voice in Angel's head spoke to him with a knowing tone. 

_He's right you know. You knew you had to go back sometime. Just didn't want it to be now. You have worshippers here. But you have a life, an important one, where people need you. Where Connor needs you, because he clearly does. Your son. If there's any reason to go back it's him. I guess that if he's helping Spike find you, then he must be good... unless Spike plans to get you and then kill you, which would be a Spike thing to do. Getting your son to help him, well that's just pure evil. Do you really want to know why Spike's helping you? Do you care? Just get back and you can deal with him later. You have more important things to sort through anyway. From now on The Powers can go to hell. You're nobody's pawn in anything, an apocalypse or prophecy or whatever. You going up there to fight for him. Make his world safer. He's my new reason for being. I'm his champion._

It was funny just how much the souls had brought the two of them together. They were more similar than ever before, not that it meant much. They had always been opposites in everything they did and were. One was quiet, the other was wild. One had tortured, the other slaughtered. Physically it was the same. One was tall, dark haired, broad shouldered, and had large dark brown eyes that could bore into you and read your soul. The other was small, blond, lithe, and had deep pools of an icy grey-blue that could envelop you and absorb your entire essence. But now with the souls, here they were and what a sight. In a magical city under the sea staring at each other whilst trapped in their own inner monologues. If only there was a camera. 

"I can't go back." 

"What do you mean you can't go back? It's bloody simple. We talk to the nice fishies, say 'Thanks for having us' and zoom! Upwards we go!" 

Angel rolled his eyes at Spike's blunt approach. 

"No you don't understand. I can't go back. What would everyone say?" 

"I do understand, and what I understand is that it doesn't matter. If you're referring to how everyone will react to you pulling this running away stunt, well they won't know unless you tell them. Come on, let's go." 

Things were sort of back to normal. The two of them started to walk away feeling slightly calmer together and advanced towards the door. That's not to say that Angel wasn't still a little on edge. After all, this was Spike, who had tried to kill him on several occasions. 

"And you actually think I'll believe you when you say you won't tell them?" 

"I'll grant you that it does sting a bit that I won't be able to revel in this, one of the few occasions in which I can safely say I'm being mature and you're being a prick." 

He looked at Spike's smug face and could only laugh. 

"Okay, I guess I deserved that." 

"A mindless arse." 

"And that too." 

"A selfish immature twat, an insensitive bugger..." 

"Don't push it." 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Compliments of the season my little chums! You know, things have been interesting during this holiday season. I don't know if there are any other people wandering around England, but it would appear that Yves St Laurent is giving my fanfic a national advertising campaign. Isn't that nice of them? Everywhere I go in the streets I see huge posters with OPIUM written in big gold letters. Sigh. (Perfume? What Perfume?!) _

My chapters are getting progressively longer... But I don't really see them as chapters anymore. They're more like scene changes now. Imagine it's the show, and some scenes are longer than others. 

Well, it's the holidays for me now. No school, which means that once Christmas is over I can write as much as I want to without the hell of homework to depress me. Yes, I have maths coursework due for when I get back, but do I look like I care? 

**Happy Holidays!**


	18. The Temporary Reverse Of A Tiger

~*-*~ 

"Wesley?" 

He turned his head. 

"Wesley? Hey! Sorry I didn't hear you, Charles and I were talking." 

"I gathered as much." 

"Been here long?" 

He wanted to scream. More than that, he wanted to cry. Had it really come to the point that he was basically invisible? Wesley had been back on the boat for well over an hour, and it was only now that he had been noticed? He looked at the girl with whom he was once so taken with and smiled. He was the black sheep. They hadn't really accepted him back in, and what more was it going to take? Wesley didn't know whether or not he should just disappear and see if anyone noticed. But that would be bad, since there was one person who hadn't left him in the doghouse. Connor. That boy had no idea just how much he was holding everyone together. 

"Not long." 

"Oh good. It would be awful if you'd been here ages and Charles and I were too busy talking to notice you, which would most definitely lead to a question of self and possibly slight paranoia and insecurity, however that's not the case in this situation obviously so we can throw out such ideas and I'm babbling again aren't I?" 

Hmm. Irony abounds. 

"Very much so." 

"Is something the matter Wesley? Using speech in a minimalist way would be normal for say Angel but when it's you, I get worried. With good reason too. The last time you pulled away from us and stopped talking was when you stole Connor." 

"Thanks for the memory." 

A damned painful memory too. Knives and throats have a tendency to come together in painful situations more often than not. 

_Listen to what she said. She said 'stole'. Fred doesn't trust you. She didn't trust that you made the right decision then, and she doesn't trust you now. Wow. This sure isn't the Love Boat..._

"Wesley! You zoned out again. If you know something then tell me." 

Wesley snapped back at her, something that was highly out of character. 

"Well of course. If I know something. You mean, if I've found yet another reason to betray you surely." 

Fred frowned at said out of character moment. 

"No, I don't mean that. I just mean..." 

"Fred, I know what you mean, and it's not as though I don't blame you. I've gone and done it again." 

"Done what?" 

"Made yet another bad decision." 

"Bad decision? Wesley, I think you've started this conversation in your head and I'm not a mind reader." 

"I can tell you don't trust me Fred. I know for a sure thing that Gunn doesn't either. I should never have come back should I? I am doomed to make the same mistake over and over again." 

"What mistake?! I don't know what you're talking about!" 

Fred's voice was rising in both pitch and decibel yet despite this she wasn't getting through to Wesley. He'd begun a rant, a quiet one of course since he was never the type to shout, but it was a rant nonetheless. A rant that was dripping with added sarcasm. 

"Well everyone's saying it. Look there goes Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, a failed watcher, a failed human being. And then for a short period of time I'm happy with a new group of friends, a new job, hell even a new girlfriend. But how long does that last?" 

"Maybe I was wrong on the lack of paranoia thing." 

"You give up that relationship for the cause. You take a bullet for the cause. That so called friend fires you too, say goodbye to healthy income. You patch up with said friend and then in an attempt to protect them from themselves you end up failing and almost suffocated on a hospital bed! It's funny you know, it really is!" 

"Um... I can't quite say I'm understanding the humour." 

"I'm trying as hard as I can! I'm doing everything I can! But once more with failure, of course, wouldn't be a Wyndham-Pryce gig without it failing." 

Wesley was beginning to snap inside as Fred was trying even more desperately to get through to what was becoming his own dramatic monologue. 

"Wesley..." 

"Take Angel's son and allow him to be killed." 

She shook her head in confusion over what Wesley just said. 

"But he wasn't k..." 

"But hell, that's not nearly enough! I had to end up sending Angel's son by proxy off to die on a quest for him." 

"Spike's not dead, sorta..." 

She shook her head in confusion over what she had just said. 

"Let me guess. I've probably screwed up the whole plan for the Powers that Be too. My actions lead to one souled vampire being sealed in an iron coffin for the rest of eternity and another being eaten by sharks or worse!" 

Fred looked out at the ocean in thought. 

"There aren't even sharks in this area..." 

"I deserve a medal. 'The Man Who Is Responsible For The Apocalypse" After all, the powers of good are down not one but two rather strong undead warriors now." 

"How do you get to an apocalypse..." 

"No matter what I do it's either 'You're too bad to work with us' or 'You're too good to work with us'. I just can't win!" 

"...too good?" 

Fred questioned, since she had no idea about Wesley's newfound connections to Wolfram & Hart. Understandably when Wesley had returned to the group he hadn't disclosed whom he was with when he saw Connor, or why he was there... 

"Why won't I ever just be happy with one aspect of my life? I've failed everywhere. Everything I touch becomes dead and stale. I'm cursed." 

"You're not cursed..." 

"No matter what, I'm always beaten. Be it physically or emotionally. Next I'll probably destroy your relationship with Gunn just because I happen to be in love with you and be once again ostracised from the group!" 

The one phrase stuck out, but Wesley didn't even notice it'd slipped out. 

"Wait. What did you say?" 

"Maybe it's best if I just cut my losses now. Leave Angel Investigations and never come back. Everyone would be all the better for it." 

"Wesley stop for a minute." 

Fred had finally managed to cut Wesley off. Or at least she thought she had. Truth was, he was merely stopping to take a breath. Either way, she took this opportunity to set everything straight. Her voice took a calm and relaxed tone. It had a steady beat and rhythm, emphasizing how serious she was. 

"I don't know what's happened to you, but you've got to understand how we feel. You betrayed us. You didn't come to us when you should have done. What did you expect us to do? Welcome you back with open arms? We're trying as hard as we can, but we can't just forget what you did. Putting that behind us, you need to realise and accept something. Connor's not dead. Stop blaming yourself for his death because it never happened. Spike's not dead... in a manner of speaking. He's not going to be eaten by sharks, as I'm pretty sure there are no sharks in this area. Besides, you know about the whole filtered sunlight deal." 

Wesley's eyes left his feet. 

"What whole filtered sunlight deal?" 

"Didn't Charles tell you about my sunlight theory?" 

Wesley murmured. 

"No, probably too busy hating me..." 

Fred snapped back at him. 

"Don't say that! He doesn't hate you! He just has trust issues, you know that." 

Wesley scoffed and rolled his eyes, but was ignored by Fred who coughed and allowed her voice to return to its previous state of normality. 

"Well, my theory is that through all that water the sunlight is filtered so Spike won't turn to dust. That's basically it, so we shouldn't worry about him." 

"Oh. All right then." 

There. That was done. Conversation over. And the ensuing silence was in no way uncomfortable. 

They stared at each other in silence for what must have felt like hours. The transaction of phrases prior soaked deep into their skin, whilst never taking their eyes off each other. Wesley's face a mixture of shock and confusion. Shock at his outburst, confusion at what could possibly happen next. Fred on the other hand, had a face that lacked emotion. Whatever her feelings were you couldn't see it. She slowly turned around and began to walk back to the cabin where her boyfriend waited for her. As Wesley watched, her retreating form came to a pause. She never turned back around to speak to him face to face. 

"About what you said before. Earlier. About loving me. I want you to know that I already knew, and I'm flattered that you feel that way." 

_There's a but coming... there always is..._

"But," 

_There you go!_

Fred stopped nervously fiddling with her fingers, a sign that what was coming next was thoroughly sincere. 

"But, I made my decision Wesley. I chose Charles. I want you to know that, and I need you to accept it. I chose." 

The words echoed long after Fred left. 

_I Chose._

Wesley sat down defeated. It was strange. He'd never really snapped internally before. Well literally snapped sure, but not metaphorically, and never would have cracked with Winifred around. Just one word, 'stole', was enough to tip him over the edge. Wesley knew he's been keeping his emotions at the surface for too long. He needed some time to cool off, and so he left for a position below deck where he stayed for a while to be still and stare. Sometimes standing, sometimes sitting, but always staring. Staring straight ahead in reflection with only the gentle murmur of the engine and its accompanying darkness for comfort. 

_I Chose._

Some moments will remain with you forever. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Awwww... poor Wesley. _

In case you didn't know, it would appear my parody rant-fic about BBC2 worked (http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1175028). I think I'm finally over my writing drought. Unfortunately, that's the perfect time for coursework and other assorted Year 13 (Senior Year to those across the Atlantic) crap to kick in. So now I have inspiration and no time to write. Life sucks major sulvolte eggs. Hopefully though, even though I have no time during the week, I can probably now get new chapters out every weekend or so. New Opium, coming soon. Stupid Economics essay. Sources of conflict between the European Union and other trading blocs? Answers in on a postcard. 


	19. Daddy Issues

~*-*~ 

Spike fingered the small objects that littered the shelves of the so-called bedroom. It was insanely ornate, that was for sure. But it can be assumed that it's easy to build big underwater, since rent for sea-space must be quite low. 

"So... this is where you've been staying all this time then?" 

Angel was lounging on his bed whilst talking to Spike. Half the time was spent being genuinely interested in what the boy had to say, the rest of the time trying to guess what evil scheme he was implementing. Except this proved difficult for Angel, since whatever plan Spike had, he wasn't letting slip. And the idea of Spike having a plan and not boasting about it yet implied that he didn't have a plan, and was genuinely being helpful. Spike? Helpful? Antonyms to the ninth degree. 

"Not all the time. I spent quite a while in an iron coffin I'll have you know. Then the mermaids broke me out and took me with them. Said I was to protect them and be their Champion. Who was I to argue?" 

"What is this?" 

Angel was shaken out of his thoughts. 

"What's what?" 

"This card... 'Angel Investigations'? Because that's not in the least bit poncy." 

Spike had found one of the calling cards for the agency on the dresser. 

"And what the hell is this supposed to be? Looks like a... heck I don't know. My mind draws a blank. What is it supposed to be?" 

Angel got up in order to take the card from Spike and inspect what he was talking about. 

"You probably can't tell because the water smudged it... or not." 

The card was perfect. 

"Huh. I guess Cordy must have used the extra money we came into to start laminating them." 

"Cordy?" 

"Yeah, Cordy designed the cards. It's an angel." 

Spike's knack for noticing the subtlest of things in people's character came back into play. He raised his eyebrows and turned to his sire. 

"'Cordy' is it now? Cordelia Chase. The Cheerleader?" 

"Don't give me that look." 

"What look?! Oooh... someone's getting paranoid. I was just wondering how you were close enough to her to be calling her Cordy." 

Angel rolled his eyes. 

"I don't have to answer to you." 

"Well well well! Would you look at this? It seems I've struck a nerve. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jonesing for her." 

"I am not 'jonesing' for anyone thank you." 

Spike put his arms up in a mock retreat. 

"I'm not necessarily implying that it's a bad thing if you like her. Maybe she looks good nowadays." 

"What do you mean maybe?" 

Spike skipped about mentioning why. 

"Well, I haven't seen her since that time I... err... had you tortured." 

"What do you mean you haven't seen her? I thought she was up on the surface waiting for us!" 

"No. Wes, Gunn, Fred and Connor are up there. I didn't see your Cordy..." 

"She's not my Cordy." 

Spike smirked at Angel's insistence. Oh yeah, he obviously had no feelings whatsoever for this girl. 

"Well I didn't ask for her! Just assumed she'd stopped working with you. She's not there. Nor was she at the hotel." 

"You were at my hotel?" 

"Oh for God's sake! Has anyone ever told you just how much of a possessive bastard you really are? Of course I was at your bloody hotel! How do you think I caught up with your gang?" 

"Well, I was somewhat surprised. I mean, they're rather weary of my family now. Can't believe they're trusting you." 

"Ahh yes. Drusilla told me." 

"Where is Dru anyway?" 

Spike snorted. 

"How the hell should I know?" 

"Trouble in paradise?" 

"What?!" 

"Just wondered why Dru didn't come down with you. She always liked swimming." 

Spike gave Angel one of the most incredulous looks known to man. 

"How long have you been out of touch Angel? Dru and I broke up over three and half *years* ago!" 

"I heard you got back together again after that chaos demon incident." 

_We did. Then she cheated on me again..._

"Something else came up." 

"What?" 

_Buffy._

"Irrelevant." 

"Wow." 

"Yeah. Wow. Last time I saw her was after you set her and Darla on fire. She was *not* happy." 

Angel bowed his head at the memory of the dark patch of his recent life. 

"Why did you do it? Why did you try and kill her? Were you punishing her? Punishing her for doing what you made her to do?" 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Drusilla told me what you did. You left her and Darla in a cellar with a large group of, what was it, 'nasty wicked men and the most evil women'. To translate, you *locked* them in there, and those men and women Dru was talking about just happen to be those Wolfram and Hart lawyers who are getting up your arse right?" 

"Dru told you that?" 

"Mmm-hmm. She wanted me to join her and Darla and help with the turning you evil thing. She wanted her family back together." 

"And you didn't come with and help destroy me? Sounds right up your alley." 

"I'll have you know that I had no reason to screw you over. I have life easy in Sunnydale and..." 

"You're still living at the Hellmouth?" 

"Yeah... Again. How long have you been out of it? I've been living there since... a few months after I last saw your Cordy." 

Angel threw himself back onto the bed. 

"Would you *stop* calling her my Cordy!" 

"Do you realise that you're a hair's breath from pulling her pigtails and running across the playground? My, you are touchy on that subject." 

Angel was growing more and more irritable and his tense posture and glowering expression made this even clearer. 

"Spike. They have a room made up for you. Go." 

"But we have to go home..." 

"Just go! Please! Leave me alone! Pester someone else! We can talk about escaping later but for now, just get lost!" 

Spike sniffed and pouted, whilst speaking in a highly sarcastic voice that only served wind his sire up further. 

"You want me to leave? What's the matter? Don't you love me anymore?" 

Upon receiving an exasperated glare from Angel, Spike snorted. It was pretty much official that no one else could quite rub Angel up the wrong way just as much as Spike could. 

"Right then. I'll just leave you to mope over your Cordy shall I?" 

"Spike! Doorknob! Give it a twist, see what it does..." 

The mocking continued as Spike moved to open the door. 

"Yes sir! What ever you say sir! Right away sir!" 

At which point Spike twisted said doorknob and opened the door only to have a pile of blue scales and flesh come tumbling into the room. Spike motioned to the lump. 

"Why Master Angelus, I believe you have visitors!" 

The two girls scrambled to pick themselves up, brush their tails off and tousle their hair. 

"We're sorry Champion, we offer our sincerest apologies." 

"Yes Champion, we're so very sorry." 

Angel sat up from his position on the bed. 

"You're forgiven." 

""**You're forgiven**"?!!" 

Spike's eyes widened. Angel merely waved him off. 

"What can I do you for ladies?" 

The first of the two girls drifted forward to speak. They looked almost identical, only identifiable by the fact that this one was more forthright than the other. 

"Thank you, most gracious and forgiving one, we didn't mean to intrude on your conversation..." 

Spike just stared. He couldn't get his mind around the sycophancy. 

"And to believe I thought it couldn't get worse than with Glory!" 

"... but we were listening in." 

The other one piped in to cover up the previous mistake. 

"Listening in, but in no ways eavesdropping." 

"Right! Not eavesdropping..." 

The two girls were gesturing wildly in some mock attempt to explain their faux pas. 

"But we heard what you said to your son and..." 

"I am *not* his..." 

The girls ignored Spike. After all, Angel was their champion. 

"You can't leave us!" 

"Oh, we bloody well have to leave!" 

Spike was irritated. Here he was, getting closer and closer to getting back to the surface, and fulfilling the promise he made to his newfound nephew, and these fish were screwing up his plans. He moved up next to Angel to talk to the girls. 

"Listen. I understand that for some bizarre reason you think you need Angel here, but believe me. There are people up top who need him a lot more than you do. That's why I'm here. To take him back where he's needed." 

"But..." 

"Don't interrupt me. I'm serious. You want him here so you can have something to praise. Well, this is a life or apocalypse situation. He's coming with me." 

"Spike, I can speak for myself you know." 

Angel gave Spike a look, and then faced the two girls that were looking at him as though they were about to cry. His voice took a softer tone. 

"Ladies, I'm sorry but in his own tactless way, my son is right." 

"I am *not* your..." 

"I have a family, of sorts, back above sea-level and they need me. I'm going to have to go." 

"Then take us with you." 

The more forthright one didn't even think before saying it. She wanted to go wherever Angel went. After all, Angel was the reason for living. Without him, she wouldn't know what she'd do. Many would think that she had an unhealthy fixation with him, and they would be right. 

"What?! Would you excuse us?" 

The second girl dragged the first back to speak to her. 

_Are you insane? How are we supposed to go with him?_

_Well, when they escape, we escape with them._

_May I just point out that they plan on going back to LA top soil, which we obviously can't do because of two little issues I like to call LEGS!_

_Are you honestly telling me they don't have water on land?_

_No, I'm telling you you're crazy. How exactly are we supposed to just swan off? They clearly plan on leaving soon! So what, we go to Dad and say "Hey, your two only daughters are going to leave forever. But don't worry, we'll be safe, despite not knowing where we're actually going to go..."_

_You're exaggerating. The Champion owns a hotel. We heard him say so._

_That doesn't mean anything! Who's to say he'll even let us stay with him?_

_He's The Champion. He's kind and graceful to all and would never leave us._

_Okay. You're my little sister and I love you, but I have to make this point clear... You're crazy!_

Spike and Angel watched on as the two girls gestured wildly at each other. 

"Is it just me, or do you feel like you're in the middle of watching some sort of mime theatre?" 

"They communicate telepathically Spike." 

Angel parted his acquired wisdom of the last few months. 

"The only reason they have been orally talking to us is..." 

"Because of the vampire thing. I got you." 

The vampires continued to watch them conversing, however the differences between the two vampires showed even here. Angel took this opportunity to watch their body language in an attempt to understand their true nature, and read their emotions. Spike on the other hand decided to make a funny screen play in his head giving a voice over for the action in front of him. Well, if he was going to be stuck underwater, he might as well entertain himself... 

_Come on, it'll be fun! We can see new things, go new places!_

_We can see new things here. We have television._

_Wouldn't you rather see things first hand?_

_No._

_But this is the perfect chance for us! We can expand our horizons! Aren't you always the one saying we should be more impulsive and seize opportunities that arise?_

_**That was you!** I'm the one who's always saying let's NOT be impulsive and let's think things through!_

_Whatever. I'm going. And you're coming with._

Before she could object again she was dragged by her younger sister to stand in front of The Champion and his 'son'. 

"Yes. Take us with you." 

Angel inwardly sighed. 

"Listen. I understand that you feel attached to me but..." 

"Oh, screw this you lousy poof." 

Spike wasn't fond of the gentle approach. 

"You can't come with us. Okay? We have lives up top, none of which can really involve mermaids. Even if we did take you, we would be stretched for places to keep you." 

The younger, more forthright girl began to crumble under Spike's harsh tone. Her eyes brimmed with tears, not that it was noticeable underwater of course. Her eyes just appeared to widen. 

"We don't even know what you eat for crying out loud! That's not to mention the people who'd want to get their hands on you. Because I have to tell you. Mermaids? Not all to common where we live. And that just scratches the surface of why you cannot come with us." 

She'd started to pout by this point. 

"And what's more..." 

Her bottom lip was quivering. 

"Oh bollocks. Angel, can't we take them with us?" 

Now Angel was the one who was getting angry. 

"Spike! You weak little twerp! You *just* said that we couldn't take them back with us to LA." 

"Oh but look! How can you say no to this face?" 

"Watch me. No." 

"But why not?" 

Now it was Angel's turn to give Spike an unbelieving look. 

"How about all the reasons you just gave? We can't have mermaids swimming about the hotel! We have nowhere to put them!" 

Spike racked his brain for an answer. 

"Of course we do... the pool! The swimming pool! We can clean it up, add a little salt and everything. They can live there." 

An alarm bell went off in Angel's head. 

"Okay, wait just a minute. First of all, you go to *my* hotel for reasons you have yet to give me, you make friends with *my* co-workers, you create a familial bond with *my* son, you make yourself at home in *my* home, and then you search through my stuff to the point where you know I have a pool?! What is your agenda?!" 

Angel was partially furious, and partially curious. Not to mention becoming increasingly paranoid. From what he'd heard, Spike was making successes where he hadn't. To Angel, Wesley seemed to have reconciled with the group if he was up there with Gunn and Fred. All in all meaning that his family was complete (with the exception of Cordelia of course) and relatively happy with one another. 

What was bugging Angel even more was the impression that Connor was giving Spike the time and affection he never got, and that hurt. Losing the one and only son he was ever going to have was hard, hell it was hard enough to lose him the first time, but again? And this time it wasn't even to a worthy opponent. He was losing Connor to Spike. Spike. A vampire. One of the deadliest vampires around, a being of pure evil, and Angel knew this too. After all, he was responsible for this creature of utter malevolence. He made Spike what he is. Yet somehow, Connor had clearly put more trust in Spike than he ever had in Angel. Angel knew it made no sense. How could there be such a double standard with his son? Connor had tried to kill him. Connor hated Angel. Because he was a vampire. And yet Connor put his trust in this one? According to Connor, all demons were the same. Evil. Connor had accepted that Angel was good. He had a soul. And at the same time, Connor still dumped him at the bottom of the ocean. Meanwhile, Connor had no qualms about making friends with Spike, a vampire. An evil soulless vampire. Angel knew in his heart that it made no sense, and his mind kept telling him that he was being childish and jealous, but his subconscious held an image of Spike engulfed by green flames that only grew hotter and more violent every time Spike opened his mouth. 

"I don't have an agenda! I only know about the pool because I was hanging with Gunn..." 

_He's been hanging with Gunn?_

Those flames just became more volatile. 

"...and he talked about what happened when Connor first came back. You know, the weird demon slugs or whatever they were, your Cordy and her glowing thing... So he showed me." 

The younger sister, forever the impatient one tried to move the conversation on. 

"So, can you take us home?" 

"Yeah, can we can we huh?" 

Now Angel was denying them purely because they were endorsed by Spike. 

"No." 

"But I promise they'll be good. I'll take extra special care of them." 

"Spike, they're not pets!" 

"Awww... you big gay meanie! Please? Please? *Please*?!" 

Then Spike pulled out his secret weapon. Well, not secret to Angel since he'd been subjected to Spike's charms for a lifetime or two. Spike used the 'You-Can't-Say-No-To-These-Eyes' trick. So much so that Angel had to avoid looking him straight in the eye whilst inwardly repeating the same mantra. 

_Don't give in to the boy. Don't give in to the stupid annoying boy..._

"Spike, are you forgetting that I'm under constant surveillance from Wolfram and Hart? What happens when they find out?" 

"So what if they find out? They're too slick to storm in and steal your mermaids." 

Spike sniggered at the mental image he'd created for himself. 

"Come on Angel, let's be rational about this." 

"I'm the one who's being rational here, you're the one who's being insane!" 

And in that moment of unbelieving anger, Angel caught eyes with Spike. 

_Damn._

Angel had no choice but to resign. 

"All right, all right. Fine. You win Spike. I'll take them home." 

Spike's mouth crawled into a smug smile. Angel observed Spike's excitement. 

"Now who's being immature?" 

"I never pretended to be anything but." 

Spike turned to the two mermaids. 

"You hear that girls? We won. You're coming with us!" 

The younger one was jumping up and down in delight, well, jumping as best she could, considering the tail aspect. The elder sister was not as happy, but despite all her doubts she was clearly not unhappy... 

"You know, I do feel bad about calling you ladies all the time. I don't even know your names." 

They just looked at Spike with puzzled faces. 

"Names?" 

Angel sighed. 

"They don't have names Spike. Creatures that communicate telepathically have no need for them do they? They just... input themselves into each other's brains." 

"Okay, in that case, can I name them?" 

Angel just gestured at him. 

"Do what ever you want." 

Spike laughed. There was something about naming mermaids that just seemed insane. 

"Well, I guess it's up to me to name you girls!" 

The elder one just gave Spike an eye and clipped back in response. 

"We're not girls, thank you very much." 

Spike was insulted. 

"Aren't you a touchy little rodent then? I think I'll name you Katherina then." 

The newly named Katherina just folded her arms in protest to being called touchy. And so clearly therefore, she was not touchy... note the sarcasm. 

"And you therefore, I will be naming Bianca." 

Spike smiled at the girl as he gave her a new name. Bianca just grinned. She was quickly becoming smitten with Spike, something that Angel had noticed too. It wasn't that Angel liked being treated like a God, well he did, but did Spike have to come here and take his worshippers away? Spike was pissing Angel off without even knowing it. 

"Bianca huh? I like it. You like your name too don't you Katherina?" 

Katherina herself was still pretty angry about being called touchy, but she couldn't deny that she felt a certain affinity with the name. 

"It's nice. Thank you." 

Spike merely bowed his head in a gentlemanlike manner, giving an insight into his Victorian upbringing. He turned to his sire. 

"So, Monsieur 'All-Of-A-Sudden-I'm-God', what's the plan?" 

_The plan is I rip your fingers off one by one before finally sending you to the big ashtray in the sky._

"Why don't we get some rest and leave in the afternoon? I have some friends I wanna say goodbye to, and you look like you haven't slept in months." 

Spike rolled his shoulders. Angel wasn't wrong. 

"Actually, we also should go. There are some things we need to check up on before we leave. You know?" 

The two vampires just nodded in agreement. 

"That's fine. You two do whatever you need to do; I'm going to head off. Spike, please go and get some sleep. Meet back here tomorrow afternoon and then we head for the surface, okay? Spike, you do know where the boat everyone's waiting on is yes?" 

Spike rattled his brain for a while. 

"Well, if *somebody* hadn't continuously knocked me out, I might have better recollection. However, it's a direct swim up from your iron case so finding the case again is the only problem." 

"I can get you there, I know where it is." 

"Thanks Bianca." 

Bianca and Katherina swam out the door, no doubt heading for home to collect their precious things. Spike just jumped into Angel's bed. 

"Well, you'd better go off and say goodbye to your mates and all that. See you tomorrow." 

Angel looked on with disdain. He was looking forward to killing this annoying childe of his once he got home. 

"You know Spike, when I told you to go to bed, I meant *your* bed." 

"Ah well, it's not like it matters. You're not going to be using it." 

"That's not the issue! Dammit Spike, it's just the principle of the thing! The bed is *mine*. Get out of my bed!" 

Angel's over protective nature had extended to the bed he never intended to use. Things were worrying, and Angel was getting angrier all the time. He was about to pop. Spike of course, could never make things better. 

"You know back in the day, you always wanted me *in* your bed as I recall..." 

Angel could have killed him. Spike was lucky Angel had as much self-restraint as he did. 

"That's it! Get out." 

"You are such a..." 

"I don't care what I am Spike. Now go to bed." 

"I'm just saying..." 

"Go to bed!" 

Spike scoffed and his words were now dripping with sarcasm as he left the room. 

"Yes Daddy." 

Angel rolled his eyes and inwardly growled. Maybe delaying Spike's murder until he got home was asking too much... 

Evening went and morning came. And that was the second day. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Oh yay me! I've finally recaptured the writing bug! I've already written chapters 20 through 24 (and chapter 28, oddly enough. Eh, when you're inspired for a chapter, you just gotta roll with it), and they're just being beta-read at the moment. Because of this I can safely say that from now on I can update regularly. Looking at my schoolwork timetable, probably every Wednesday and Saturday. I'm so proud of me. Never written anything this long before and stuck with it. [giggles with glee]_

Are people still reading this story? I'm not hurt or anything, just widely curious. Because there have got to be things I need to work on right? Do you guys out there think there are things I should be focusing on in response to my writing? I'm trying to get better, I mean it! I wanna hear your thoughts on my style and ways to improve it, thoughts on the plot and possible plot mistakes or whatever, bad characterisation etc. Criticise me please. Put me down.


	20. Battle For Alpha

~*-*~ 

Restless. That was the only word to describe Connor's disposition. He was restless. Day Three in Operation Vampire Recovery, and still no success. Every day Connor felt worse. It can be said that guilt is its own punishment. Connor felt that. He'd work on his speech to his father, so he knew exactly how to say just how sorry he was for what he did. He'd work himself up, only to be disappointed with no sign of his father or Spike. And that just left another day of apprehension. Connor's mind moved a mile a minute. 

_What happens if he rejects me? What happens if he doesn't forgive me? What happens if he never wants me? What happens?_

The deck was beginning to wear out from the frantic pacing. But it wasn't Connor's feet doing the damage. No, Connor had been on edge for too long that he'd worn himself out. He just remained tense, sitting down in an ocean of his own guilt. If one didn't know any better, one would almost say he was brooding. 

"Charles, maybe you should sit down." 

"I can't sit." 

"Well at least stop pacing up and down! You're making me ill." 

Fred was sitting down next to Connor and watched her partner walk continuously around the deck. Gunn had been at it for nearly an hour. It was dark by now, and it was fair to say that he was losing hope and fast. 

"This is crazy Fred! Here were are, still waiting for some sign of those vampires." 

"And they'll turn up. Don't worry." 

"I can't help not worrying! I don't think you realise this, but we've been here for three days already." 

"It's a large..." 

"Don't give me that 'it's a large ocean' crap!" 

Fred just stared, shocked at her boyfriend's outburst. What was going on? Was it 'Yell At Fred' week and she had been misinformed? 

"Look Fred, I'm sorry, but it's true. Spike should have found him by now." 

"Everything's okay. I'm sure of it." 

"No, don't you see? Everything's not okay. We've been waiting for three days, and so far we've got nothing. Let's face it. We've lost Angel." 

This shook Connor out of his inner monologue. He stood up and spoke with a firm resolve. 

"I'll go." 

Fred and Gunn just looked at him. 

"What?" 

"I said I'll go. I'll go underwater and try and find my father myself." 

An English voice spoke out from near the main cabin. 

"No, you're not Connor." 

"Please Wes, I can go down and find him. He's my father. And since I put him there, it's only right for me to go and save him." 

"Connor, you can't. Who's to say that you won't get lost down there? Ignoring the practicalities of having no diving equipment, we can't afford to lose you too. We're already one man down." 

He smiled a smile of reassurance as he spoke, but that smile was soon to fade. 

"Not the right man down if you ask me." 

Wes turned to look at Gunn, first of all confirming that his hearing did not fail him. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"You know what I mean English. Cause as far as I'm concerned, I'm blaming you." 

"And how exactly do you get to that conclusion?" 

"I'm pretty certain that it's all your fault. If it weren't for you, I'm pretty certain that Connor here wouldn't have suffered in an alternate hell dimension. I'm pretty certain that Angel wouldn't be stuck in the ocean. And I'm pretty certain that if it weren't for you, we wouldn't be stuck here waiting for God knows what to happen. So yeah, it's your fault." 

Fred had decided to sit this argument out. She'd played witness to the many times the two men had bumped heads, and was rather tired of the constant bickering and little digs here and there. Maybe if they got to truly fight it all out without interruption, they could get it over with. Connor however, still kept himself involved in the conversation. 

"Gunn, it's not Wes' fault." 

"Stay out of this Sparky, you're just a kid. You don't know better." 

"Listen, if you're angry at me then be angry at me. Don't take it out on Connor." 

Gunn scoffed as he stared at his ex-friend. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, and he shook his head in disbelief. 

"Look at you. Playing the daddy to Angel's son. Don't think Angel'll be too happy about that when he gets back. Or should I say if he gets back. It's funny, considering a couple of months ago you were trying to get the boy killed." 

"Trying? You don't have a clue do you? I was trying to protect him! I took him away so I could save his life!" 

"Well, none of this would have happened if you had just come to us instead of trying to play hero by yourself." 

"Do you know what the prophecy said? It said that Angel was going to kill Connor. I could hardly tell him where I was going, because if he turned bad he'd be able to find us. And it's not like I could have taken Connor easily. Angel would have never parted with Connor and you know it!" 

"That isn't a good enough excuse. You still should have come to us. Now here we are on a boat somewhere off the coast of California on some wild goose chase!" 

"How can you call this a wild goose chase? We know where Angel is, we've got someone going to get him." 

"Yeah, except we don't know who this someone is." 

Now Wesley was truly puzzled. 

"What?" 

"This Spike guy. Who's to say he is what he says he is? He shows up, claims he's got a soul, and we believe him. He says he needs Angel, we give Angel to him on a silver platter." 

"Look, I know who he is." 

"As far as your Watcher training goes, sure. These are the same guys who double crossed you and fired you. Do you honestly trust anything those guys taught you? What's to say this Spike character ain't even a vampire? He shows up, we don't cross check with crosses or nothing. Who knows what kind of demon he is? He could be going down there to find Angel and to kill him." 

Connor had been listening in on all this and was getting more worried by the minute. Gunn did have a point. And of course, Connor was growing more and more sceptical as the days went by. Everyday he'd find out something new, another situation where he'd been lied to and manipulated. Placing trust in Spike might have just been another mistake. 

"Maybe Gunn, but Spike was nice to me. He told me things. I don't think he'd try to kill Angel." 

"Connor, even if Spike is who he says he is, what if those Wolfram & Hart lawyers got to him first? What if they're paying him to take Angel out? Ever thought of that?" 

"But why would Wolfram & Hart be interested in Spike?" 

"Wolfram & Hart are interested in everything." 

By this point, Wesley was almost as tired as Fred was, who by this time was writing something down, completely oblivious to the argument around her. 

"Gunn, listen to me. Spike's going to find Angel. He's going to bring him back. And when Angel gets here, I don't think he'll appreciate us bickering non-stop. Can we at least call a truce, and focus on the problem at hand?" 

Wesley held his hand out in anticipation. Gunn looked at it first before answering. 

"Let me make a few things clear. I don't trust you. I don't trust Spike. Don't think I've forgiven you for betraying us. That's not what this is about. I'm in this truce for Angel's sake. And that's it. Deal?" 

"Deal." 

And so they shook on it, ready to deal with the issue of the missing vampires. Gunn began the first attempt to be polite. 

"So, what's the first plan of action?" 

"I think the first plan of action is to..." 

He trailed off, as he caught sight of Connor almost tipping over the edge of the deck. 

"Connor, what are you doing? I thought we agreed we'd find another way." 

Connor didn't say a word. He just gestured with his head to the water. Wes and Gunn moved to the side of the boat and looked over at the same spot. The movement shook Fred out of her work and she too came to the side to look out. 

"What's going on?" 

Fred kept looking at everyone else trying to figure out what they were looking at. Then she heard the splashes from the water below. A body had emerged from the ocean. A completely soaked body with platinum blonde hair. The four people on the side of the boat all watched with apprehension, careful not to bring their hopes up too quickly. It didn't matter though, because they'd finally got what they wanted. It was Spike. 

"All right people?" 

Spike spoke with a constant smirk on his face. 

"Check out what the vampire dragged in!" 

With that, a second body appeared from the waters next to Spike. 

"Angel?" 

"Dad?!" 

Angel looked up at all the faces. 

"Err... Hey guys." 

And nobody knew how to react. The two groups just stared at each other, not knowing quite what to do. It had been three days. That kind of waiting made the excitement kind of hard since both parties had spent so much time just feeling numb. Nobody moved, nobody said a word. There was silence. Or at least there was silence until Spike commented with his usual comic timing. 

"So... Been waiting long?" 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Dear Lord. Thank you all so much for your input! Every review I get makes me skip around in glee. Granted, I've been annoying my friends by being so happy I've been yodelling too (don't ask) but still. You make me so happy!_

I'm also unbelievably happy because I'm updating regularly. I finally have enough material to update regularly! I'm so proud. In fact, I've almost finished this fic. Sigh. Sad to end it, it really is.

(PenguinsEvilPawn: I should imagine I do punch like a girl. I am one. And I agree, Angel *is* funny when he's mad. It's all too tempting to have him as Mr Broody Brooderson, and completely forget about Mr "He Started It!" of The Yoko Factor or "He's my lead! He's my lead!" of Dead End. If you ask me, Angel is often just an immortal teenager. It's a side of Angel people sometimes forget.)


	21. One Up, One Down

~*-*~ 

Angel and Spike climbed up the ropes that now hung off the side of the deck, Spike at a higher point than Angel. Now most people would just climb aboard the boat and leave it at that. Spike on the other hand... 

"What's taking you so long, you old codger? Can't climb at the speeds you used to huh?" 

This wasn't exactly the wisest of moves on Spike's part as unbeknownst to him, Angel was still pretty angry at the younger vampire. Angel's common sense escaped him for a short moment and he climbed quickly until he was slightly above Spike and used his feet as a mallet on Spike's hands, the pain forcing Spike to let go and drop straight back into the water. 

"Bastard!" 

Angel just laughed as he looked down at Spike who was splashing about yelling expletives at the top of his voice. All those looking over the side of the boat laughed too. Gunn took Angel's hand and helped him aboard. 

"Gunn!" 

"Hey man. Long time." 

"You know I'd give you one of those well meaning hugs about now, but I'm kinda wet." 

Gunn just nodded with a smile. Angel heard the voice speaking from behind him. 

"Hey Dad." 

Angel frowned for a moment. Such a simple word. Dad. But it was still amazing how one little word could mean so much. Angel had waited to hear that word for so long. He didn't even know how long. But to hear it from his son's mouth after all this time. If it wasn't for the ever lurking issue of Cordelia's whereabouts, Angel's soul would be in danger of escaping. 

"Erm, hey Steven." 

Connor laughed. 

"It's okay Dad, I go by Connor now." 

He said it again. Angel couldn't get over the sheer glee received by that one word. Dad. And he called himself Connor, which in turn was homage to his own Da. Not Angel's real father, heck no. He'd been a royally mean one and a sanctimonious bastard at that, but Liam's real Da, his Granda, he himself was named Connor too. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Short, but sweet. Beta has coursework, you know how it goes... Plus, I've been working on a new website, 'tis a fanfiction archive. Yay me. And thanks to **EVERYONE** who gave me feedback! Makes me do the dance of joy. (Oh and BTW, there are up and coming pictures at my new site of me and my friends actually doing the Dance Of Joy. Watch This Space)._

swords-n-spikes: I don't know about bringing in the BtVS gang, because there are *so* many unresolved issues! I'm tempted to bring them in, and if they did appear, I'd know what I'd do to them (evil laugh) but right now it all depends on one word: Exams.

Jane Sherwood: How *will* Angel react to Spike's soul? I do wonder... well, actually I don't, since I know how *my* Angel is going to react. But, he's going to find out soonish. Hold your breath.

Angela M: No! Don't give up! I promise to keep going, I do! And I will! It's just, you know, nyang. (And I know about TotS. If Shakespeare had penetrated to the ocean depths and Katherina got the reference, I bet she'd be bloody pissed...)


	22. Like Father, Like Father, Like Son, Like...

~*-*~ 

_**Galway 1744 **_

"Da Connor, I'm near seventeen years now. Your stories can't scare me." 

The old man smiled. 

"Who says they be stories? I've seen one of them meself!" 

"The same way you say you saw the Virgin Mary sitting in front of the fireplace? Let's face it, you're turning senile in your old age!" 

"Old? Me? I wouldn't laugh Liam. You'll be my age one day." 

Liam scoffed. 

"Nonsense! I'll be young forever!" 

His grandfather merely rolled his eyes. 

"You keep telling yourself that son, but it will happen one day. You'll grow old, and then die. Tis a fact of life." 

"Well, I'm not too sure about your facts. You're telling me children's stories about vampires and goblins!" 

Connor took a sinister tone. 

"So, you never wondered about all the goings on in this village? Especially on All Hallow's Eve?" 

Liam tried his hardest not to give in to his grandfather's tone, but dammit! Connor was a brilliant storyteller when he had to be. When it came to delivery, he was the best. Liam aimed to one day master the same ability of disguise that his grandfather was so good at. As yet, he wasn't the best, but he had the rest of his life to practice. 

"Da, nothing will happen tomorrow. The sun shall rise, I shall go to work with Mr Brennan at the forge, the sun shall set, I shall sleep. The cycle will then repeat, and it will do so without interventions from above or below." 

Connor looked at whatever Liam was slaving over. It was a charcoal drawing of a boy, aged about seventeen. He looked similar to Liam, though it was clearly not him. Connor didn't even need to ask. 

"It's Lennon isn't it? I imagine it's what he'd look like if he'd survived until now." 

Liam nodded in response. 

"Will you be lighting a candle for him at church tomorrow?" 

"Day after, and yes I shall try. That much I know is true. But Da, I say try. You know how my father is about me going to the church. If someone sees me, he risks getting caught out. You know how he is about money. Values it over his faith." 

Connor sighed. He was well aware of his son's attitude towards Liam and he highly disagreed with his actions. Connor could be accused of favouring his grandson, but he wouldn't deny it. Connor knew in his heart that Liam was a special one, and he'd amount to be so much more when he grew up. He'd make a difference. 

"You should do more with yourself young Liam. You're such a creative soul, and you really ought do something with that talent of yours." 

A deep voice resonated from the doorway. 

"I'd think not. No son of mine's going to waste his life away on pictures." 

"Back from confession already Father? Didn't think you'd be back for another few days, the way you've been sinning." 

Liam responded dryly without ever looking up from his paper, and his comments earned him a sharp slap on the back of the head. 

"I'll have none of your flippancy boy. I've been out working. You'd know none of that, sitting around here with your sketches all day. Going to have a proper talk with Brennan, make sure he's making a proper man of you like I asked." 

"Indeed. Amazing father isn't it, that your work smells a lot like a pub doesn't it?" 

Connor couldn't help but laugh at his grandson's sarcasm. Some would say Connor was closer to his grandson than his own son, and they would be right. 

"Don't laugh Da, it's your fault. You're encouraging him." 

"I am not." 

"You are! It's your fault he's spending his time on alcohol and other nonsense." 

"There's nothing wrong with a little ale now and again." 

Liam started on a new page as the two men talked about him over his head. 

"You need not talk about as if I'm not here. For some reason I have developed these two body parts on either side of my head called ears. There is an amazing thing they do - they allow me to hear you." 

Connor attempted to stifle his laughter, and it came out as a sort of snort. He received a glare from his son who then turned his attentions to Liam's paper. Not before hitting Liam's feet off the table. 

"What are you working on now?" 

"Designing a new hilt. Mr Brennan finds a use for my talent." 

"It's no talent boy." 

After deciding that he'd heard enough criticism for his pastime, Liam slammed the wad of papers on the desk and grabbed his coat. 

"Where do you think you're going?" 

"Out." 

"Why?" 

And for the first time that evening Liam actually looked his father in the eye and replied. 

"Because I'd rather be around my peers than a condescending hypocrite like you." 

With that he turned and left, ignoring his father shouting after him. 

"Don't talk that way to me!" 

Connor intervened. 

"Let him go." 

"What? How can you say that? Did you not hear the way he spoke to me?" 

"Yes I did, and I can hardly blame him either. You're too hard on him." 

Liam's father sighed. 

"I wouldn't have to be so hard on the boy if he'd straighten up. Stopped spending so much time on this nonsense." 

"He's not such a boy anymore. You must remember that. So he plays up a little. He'll calm down in time." 

Connor watched his son pick up the drawings off the desk and glance through a few of them. He answered the questions before it was asked. 

"It's Lennon." 

"Yes... well... I don't see why it should affect him this way." 

Holding back all emotion, he replaced the pictures. Connor shrugged. 

"People grieve in different ways. Leave him be. He will always get worse this time of year anyway. Doesn't help that he can't express himself as he'd wish." 

The comment snapped the man to attention. 

"What do you mean by that?" 

"You know precisely what I mean. He's not fond of having to hide his faith for your benefit." 

"'Tis for his benefit as well. He knows that." 

Connor raised his eyebrow and silently questioned him for what had been the nth time that day. 

"What? It's the truth. Liam leads a comfortable life." 

"At the expense of a one-way trip to the hell fires of Hades." 

As Connor's voice steadily rose, so did his son's. As the younger of the two men felt more uncomfortable, he folded his arms. A familiar pattern in his family, the gesture being used both as a symbol of defiance and defence. 

"Must we continue to talk about this Da?" 

"Aye, we must. If it's enough to rescue your soul." 

Connor's comments just made his son roll his eyes. This was not their first argument on the matter, and was also far from the last. 

"My soul doesn't need rescue. I put my family's well being above all else. We'd stand no hope living as Catholics. This way we live in relative comfort." 

He gestured around at the room, the one that had only been furnished by his gains as a merchant. 

"I brought you up well without ever being ashamed of my God." 

"I'm not ashamed." 

Connor shouted back. 

"Then why must you act like it?! Can you not see that you're pushing away your only remaining son?" 

"Don't bring Lennon into this!" 

Connor leaned in towards his son in an intimidating fashion using his tone of voice to his own advantage, a skill envied by many. 

"I know why you attend confession as often as you do, and that's because you know what you're doing is wrong. And though you be my son, I encourage the Lord Almighty himself to smite you down for your blasphemy. You put the importance of money and physical goods above yourself and your spiritual purity!" 

He allowed the words to sink in before adding the final deathblow. 

"You've condemned your own family to hell and I hope you're proud." 

Taking his own coat, Connor went out in a similar fashion to his grandson leaving his son alone with his thoughts. The merchant stood still with even breath, contemplating the words of his father, whilst refusing to show any sign of sentiment. For sentiment breeds weakness, and he would never be susceptible to such a thing. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: This is what I like to call the wonderful world of **Retcon**. It's something you do when ME writers cock up majorly and imply that a Catholic in Galway could be rich, when we all know that oppression against Catholics in 18th Century Ireland was rife, to the point where they couldn't even own land._

What can I say? I was watching The Prodigal. It pissed me off.

Okay, so I owe you an apology (especially you **Blue Star Galaxy**, really). See, I thought things would be okay, I did. When I originally planned this story, it was a short thing. A quaint little 15 chaptered piece. But then the characters took over the story and I was no longer in charge of the plot. I spanked them hard, really I did. I told myself to just finish the story, and then update the chapters. That way, I could be all regular like. But then Angel decided he didn't want to be in his cage when Spike found it. I said "Okay, but hurry it up. We don't wanna go crazy with this now do we?". We had an agreement. A short extension of the plot and then we'd get back to the original plan. But then the characters just kept rebelling against what I told them to do. It was unbelievable! Fifteen chapters soon became twenty. Twenty became twenty five. Plot wise, I'm up to thirty three chapters and ever lengthening. And then they just **had** to have a plot turn that would mean bringing in the Sunnydale gang (you heard what I said, the Scoobs will appear later). Doesn't help that I've got exams at the moment either. And so that is why there have not been updates recently, and probably might not be for a while.

I Am No Longer In Control Of Opium. Opium Is In Control Of Me.

[J scuttles away whilst being beaten to death by her own characters...] 


	23. Reveal An Eaten Foot

~*-*~ 

**_Los Angeles 2002_**

Angel was pulled out of his moment of fatherly admiration by the voice of a rather pissed off vampire finding his way aboard. 

"Oh... you immature little pillock!" 

Angel laughed, as did all the others on deck with the exception of Winifred. She was somewhat puzzled by something. 

"Don't you dare laugh at me! I can assure you that it wasn't funny. It hurt. Wes, hand us a towel will you?" 

Wesley paused his laughter to recall the information needed. 

"Oh yes. Angel, Spike, there's a couple of towels in the cabin over there and some dry clothes." 

Fred put in a few words of her own, trying to get some of her own questions answered. 

"Yeah, we also have some blood for you. We thought you might need some after being down there for so long. Going with the information that the books have back at the hotel, you should be a little less... composed." 

Fred said the last part of her sentence rather pointedly at Angel, and Angel noticed. He racked his mind over a reason why he wasn't mad with hunger without talking about his escapism or the mermaids. 

_Dammit! The mermaids!_

"Do we have any nets?" 

Spike caught on and headed across next to Connor where some nets were. Gunn however didn't catch on, understandably. 

"What?" 

"Nets. Fishing nets." 

He pointed to the nets that Spike had already found. Angel grabbed them with Spike and threw the nets overboard. Gunn remained as confused as ever. 

"What are you doing? Now ain't no time to go fishing!" 

As he stood there in wait, Angel had a quick forward flash to the reaction he'd probably get when he pulled the naked mermaids up onto deck. He whispered to Spike. 

"Spike! They're naked remember?" 

Spike merely shrugged. 

"So? It isn't anything we haven't seen before. Or has widdle Angel not learnt about the differences between boys and girls?" 

"Connor? Why don't you go inside the cabin for a while okay?" 

The younger of the two vampires laughed at the way Angel had suddenly reverted back to his 18th century ideals. 

"You're trying to bring him up as a repressive prude aren't you?" 

"Have I mentioned just how much I *don't* like your influence on him?" 

"Many times." 

The anger that had been steadily boiling in Angel for the past day was quickly gaining further ammunition. Angel was a time bomb waiting to go off, and Spike was getting closer and closer to detonating him. 

"Rhetorical question Spike. Understand this. I don't need your help in raising *my* child." 

Spike mimicked Angel in a mocking tone. 

"_"I don't need your help raising *my* child!"_ Prat." 

Gunn, confused, approached the quarrelling two. 

"Guys, what's going on? What are you fishing for, and please don't say trouble..." 

The tension in the net strings caused Angel and Spike to realise that Katherina and Bianca had found their way inside the netting. Only one thing left to do... 

"Now, when we reel this catch in, you've got to promise not to freak out okay?" 

The unanimous expression of "Sure" went up. And so Spike and Angel pulled the nets back up, revealing Katherina and Bianca to everyone. 

"Whoa!"          "Oh my..."            "Dear..." 

The living part of the group went partially into shock at the sight of the creatures that were half fish and half human. Connor was only puzzled by what he saw but the others reacted quite differently. Fred just kept pointing frantically at the net whilst opening and shutting her mouth repeatedly, knowing not what to say. Gunn and Wesley together made a list of non-stop blasphemy, however never finished any phrases. 

"You promised not to freak out!" 

Fred finally had something to say. 

"We promised yeah! But that was before you hauled in a couple of... of..." 

"They're mermaids! Why is it so difficult for people to get their minds around? First Spike, now you guys..." 

Angel and Spike just stared at the gaping people aboard. All just stared and pointed. 

"They are just women with tails. Is it that hard?" 

The resounding chorus of "YES!" answered Spike's question. Spike threw his hands up in mock horror before giving Angel a hand with opening the netting. Angel, still feeling a little uncomfortable at having Connor around, focused on the issue at hand. 

"Fred, do you have any clothes?" 

Fred looked down at her outfit before looking back at Angel in shock. 

"Of course I have clothes! I have lots of clothes! Pretty clothes! It's purely coincidence that I was wearing this the last time you saw me. You have been a gone a while, and I'm not like Cordelia you know. I don't have 365 different sets of clothing or anything. I have better things to do than shop for clothes." 

Angel shook his head in confusion at the outburst, and then clarified. 

"Spare, Fred. Do you have any clothes spare on this boat?" 

Winifred fell back immediately into her normally placid demeanour. 

"Oh! Then no." 

"Well we have to do something. We can't just have naked women sitting around the place." 

Connor shrugged and thought this over with a smirk on his face. 

"Why not?" 

The comment earned him a well-deserved glare from his father. Spike actually laughed out loud. 

"He grew up in a hell dimension, but a teenage boy will always be a teenage boy." 

That also earned Spike a glare from his sire. Angel was doing a whole lot of glaring tonight. 

"Peaches, calm it." 

_I'll calm you in a minute you annoying little..._

Katherina coughed. 

"You know, it's really okay. We don't need clothes." 

"Yes you do!" 

Katherina was taken aback by her Champion's outburst as was her sister, who spoke to her. 

_It would appear that the Magnificent One isn't the same on land._

_Yes, for on land he would be dry._

_Katherina, shut up._

Angel quickly apologised. 

"I'm sorry Katherina, I'm just a little on edge." 

"Oooh! Maybe that rod shifted even further up his arse!" 

Angel pretended not to hear the comment whispered under Spike's breath and continued. 

"Tell you what girls. I'll just grab you some shirts." 

Angel paused while he deliberated actually talking to Wesley. He made it perfectly clear that he was only being civil. The tension was still rife. 

"Wesley, you did bring shirts right?" 

"Sweaters actually. But they'll suit the purpose surely, no pun intended." 

Angel nodded sharply and wandered inside. Meanwhile Spike threw on the coat he'd used on the way to the shore, the coat that was in fact Angel's. Fred noticed something, but it wasn't the coat. 

"Spike, aren't you going to get out of those wet clothes?" 

Gunn coughed rather loudly and pointedly at his girlfriend. Once Fred realised what she had said she quickly explained whilst Spike chuckled immediately. 

"No, I mean, you don't wanna walk around in those clothes and you'd be better out of them." 

Both Gunn and Wesley's eyes widened. 

"No! No! I meant, argh! People shouldn't walk around in wet clothing. You'll catch pneumonia." 

Spike leaned in to her, paused, and then spoke slowly. 

"Winifred love? Vampire." 

Fred gestured wildly in embarrassment at her gaffe. 

"I know! I mean... I... I'll be over here." 

She shied away and moved closer to her boyfriend, who in turn put his arm around her. Sometimes men can be so territorial. At which point Angel returned to The Boat Deck Of Embarrassing Silence. 

"Okay, I come forth bearing clothing! ...and what's going on here?" 

Angel looked around at everyone's discomfort and smiled. 

"Come on guys! It's not that bad. Whatever happened, it could probably be worse. I mean Fred could start hitting on Spike or something!" 

Collective groan. 

"What?" 

Everybody moved away to different sides of the deck. 

"What?!" 

Once Angel had allowed the two mermaids to cover themselves up, he turned to his group to iron out the battle plan. 

"Listen, here's what we're going to do. Spike have you introduced everyone?" 

"No." 

"God Spike! Can't you do anything right? You are worthless." 

Angel was so angry he didn't even notice the pain cross Spike's face. 

"Sorry." 

Spike went to lean against the side, coincidentally quite far away from Fred. Angel rolled his eyes and continued. 

"Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to Katherina and Bianca. Girls, this is everyone." 

He pointed accordingly. 

"Gunn, Fred, Connor my son... and Wesley." 

The girls smiled. Bianca, ever the more forthcoming of the two actually took this opportunity to say hello. 

"Hello Gunn, Fred, Connor the Champion's son... and Wesley." 

Gunn, Fred, Connor Angel's son and Wesley responded with a range of hellos to the younger mermaid. Katherina on the other hand was rather uninterested. 

"Yeah, whatever." 

Angel sighed and thought things through as he ran his fingers through his hair, which coincidentally was in no condition to be proud of. 

_Another thing for the To Do List. Fix Hair._

Randomly after thinking this, his fellow (yet unwelcome) vampire raised his head and gave him a look that said "You self-involved bastard". 

_Can he read my thoughts? No of course not. Spike?_

Spike looked away. 

_Spike?_

No response. 

_Spike, you stupid son of a bitch! Your shoes don't match and you punch like a girl!_

No response. 

_Yes! You can't steal my thoughts! No sir, my thoughts are my own. Finally something you can't take from me boy!_

Angel kept his eye on Spike and just saw him sulk. Or was he? 

_Oh my god. Is he, is he... brooding?!_

Angel was once again interrupted from his ponderings by Fred, whose conversation with the mermaids had grown stale due mostly in part to Gunn's inability to make conversation. He'd always had problems with fish, barring those that were dead and on a plate. Everyone's got issues. 

"You were saying Angel? Game plan? What are we doing with Katherina and Bianca?" 

_Can't a man finish a thought around here?_

"Right! Now Katherina and Bianca are mermaids. Obviously. Goes without saying that this fact stays between us and us alone. We're taking them back to the Hyperion with us." 

Gunn and Wesley shared a glance. 

"Whoa, Angel you sure 'bout this? I mean, we don't have an ocean!" 

"No, but we have a pool. Or at least we will once we've finished with it. The pool next to the kitchen? We're converting it for them. Let's just say these two helped us, and now we're returning the favour." 

Fred was excited already. 

"Wait, are you saying you had an adventure under the sea? Wow! Just like Hans Christian Anderson!" 

To which Angel gave a deadpan response. 

"Yes Fred. Just like Hans Christian Anderson." 

It was now Katherina and Bianca's turn to share a glance. 

_Who's Hans Christian Anderson?_

Katherina shrugged. 

"Fred, I'll tell you about it later. The important thing is we get back under the cover of darkness so we don't burn, and so those two don't get noticed." 

Wesley and Gunn saw this is an opportunity to show their new "friendship". 

"Yes well Angel, I shall go and start us up and move back towards shore." 

"Yep, I'm going to go with my good friend Wes here and give him a hand." 

Gunn grabbed Wesley by the hand and then began to walk towards the cabin. Quietly Wesley whispered back to Gunn once they were out of earshot. 

"Gunn, we're pretending to be friends not gay lovers." 

"Right." 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: I have good news and good news. The good news? I finished Opium yesterday! WOOOOO! The good news? I finished Opium yesterday! WOOOOOOO!_

In light of this WOOOOO-worthy event, I can now finally make my "regular" updates, well, regular! So if there are in fact people still following this story, it's been finished and expect the rest soon.

Muchos hugs and furry kittens for sticking with me on this one!


	24. Experience Is The Greatest Teacher

~*-*~ 

As they began to close in on the shore, Connor looked at the mermaids questioningly. 

"Can they survive out of water? We had creatures like those in the Quortoth, they couldn't survive out of water." 

Katherina scowled. 

"Well, 'they' are sitting right here, and 'they' can survive just fine thank you very much." 

"Way to go with the tact Little Poof. Chip off the old block you are..." 

Connor went to sit down next to his uncle... nephew... granduncle... *relation* with a puzzled look on his face. 

"Yeah, and another thing. Why do you keep calling me that?!" 

As Spike tried to remember his reasoning for Connor's nicknames, Bianca grew weary. 

"Champion?" 

Angel sat down next to Bianca. 

"Please, Angel's fine." 

She beamed. She had permission to call the Champion by his first name. Oh yeah, she was cool. 

"Well, Angel... I, we, have to come clean about something." 

Katherina turned sharply. 

_Oh no, you're not telling him now are you?_

_It's better now than later._

_Whatever._

Bianca continued. 

"We're not who we said we were. Don't worry, we're not a threat. We're far from that." 

Angel tensed up immediately. He already had what he considered one intruder in his life, he wasn't particularly looking forward to bringing in another two. 

"Then who are you? What are you doing here?" 

_It's now or never sis._

Bianca took one last breath. 

"We were sent to watch you, by the Powers. To be your seer." 

Angel shook his head. 

"No, I have a seer. I have Cordy." 

"You don't." 

"What do you mean I don't?! Cordelia is my seer, I don't need another one! She's going to be at home waiting for me, and that's that!" 

The outburst from Angel called Fred over from where she was eavesdropping on Connor and Spike's conversation and she walked over to explain. 

"Actually Angel, she's not. Cordelia's not at the hotel, and she's not at her apartment. She's not with her family, and she's not with Groo either. Cordelia's been missing as long as you have." 

Angel then turned on Fred. This was becoming something of a repeating pattern... 

"Fred, that's not possible. She can't just disappear off the face of the planet!" 

Bianca interrupted to save Fred, and from the look on Angel's face things would quickly get ugly. 

"Actually she can. And she did." 

"Explain. Explain quickly. Or I'm tossing this catch back in." 

Angel had one of those expressions that would drain the life from a watercolour. When he was angry, you could tell. Spike would have vouched for this, had he not been highly engrossed in a conversation with his nephew. The two sisters were terrified and Katherina quickly helped each other to escape Angel's wrath. 

"We told you were sent by the Powers. We were. We were sent by Cordelia. She's one of them now." 

"Cordelia's ascended. Angel, that's why you couldn't find her." 

"She sent us as her replacement, once she discovered where you are. We were the only ones who could help." 

"Or rather Katherina was sent to be your seer, but being the bitch she is, she though she'd leave you to your own devices. Took a whole load of convincing to get her here, I'll tell you that much. Part of our deal was that I would come and suffer alongside her." 

Once again, Bianca put her tail in her mouth. 

_Bitch._

_Go to hell._

Angel tried to take this all in, tried being the operative word. He sat there, stared into space without moving. Everyone on board was worried about him, although Fred was the only one who was prepared to interrupt his thoughts... again. 

"Angel?" 

"What? Oh yeah." 

Angel recollected his thoughts for a moment and then turned to the mermaid that claimed to be his new seer. 

"Um, Katherina can I talk to you for a minute?" 

Fred and Bianca took this as their cue to walk away. Or at least, Bianca tried to. She was going with more of a slide. 

"Sure. What's up?" 

"I need to know more. Where's Cordy? What do you mean she sent you? I don't understand." 

"Cordelia ascended." 

Katherina said as plainly as she could, but Angel still didn't get it. 

"Yes, I know that, but it doesn't make sense." 

She was clipped as she indicated he had interrupted her. 

"If you'll allow me to finish, it would. Cordelia outgrew this dimension. She had to move on to a new plane. She's a higher being now. One of the Powers." 

"Wow." 

Katherina thought back on this. 

"Well, not one of the Powers, she's not that huge. But quite close. Like a Power Roadie." 

Angel frowned a the comparison 

"Roadie?" 

"Well yeah. She's not one of the powers, but she goes around with them and helps out a lot. Either way, she's not coming back. And she can't contact you. At least, not directly. She has to talk through me. And that takes energy. Energy I just don't have." 

Katherina continued to speak of the power needed to connect with the higher levels, and spoke about the karmic balance if such a thing was attempted. Naturally Angel wasn't listening. He didn't really care. He wanted Cordelia. And if he couldn't see her, or speak to her, he could at least speak to her through someone else. 

"Can you talk to her now? I need to talk to her." 

"It's not that simple. I don't know how the Powers operate, I just work for them. Do what they tell me to. I'm like a minion. But with a dental plan." 

Angel did a double take. 

"The Powers give their employees a dental plan?" 

"Mmm-hmm." 

Katherina gave a huge smile, accenting her pearly whites. Angel was pleasantly surprised. 

"Nice." 

Katherina nodded in agreement. She knew she had nice teeth. She returned to the topic of Cordelia. 

"Cordelia comes to me occasionally. She told me to tell you she's sorry she can't be with you anymore and that she loves you all very much." 

One word stuck out in Angel's mind. 

"All?" 

"Yeah." 

He couldn't get off it. 

"Cordelia, she loves us. *All* of us huh?" 

Angel's inner-Spike teased him. 

_Yeah, it would seem that way. You know, from the use of the word 'All'..._

Angel growled. Even when Spike wasn't pissing him off personally, he'd be doing it mentally. Little bastard. 

"So that's why we had to come with you. I'm your new connection to the Powers That Be." 

_I don't want a new connection. I want Cordy._

Katherina practically read Angel's mind. 

"I know you must hate this. But there's no way to get Cordelia back. I'm sorry." 

_But this can't be possible._

Again, Katherina seemed to elicit mental powers. 

"I know you probably don't believe this. Hell, I was in denial about it too." 

Angel edged away slightly. 

"Okay please stop that, you're freaking me out." 

Angel's new seer rolled her eyes. 

"Trust me, if there was some way for me to get back home and away from all of you guys, I'd take it. Especially that gay one with the fish phobia. I really don't like him." 

"Gay guy with the fish? ...Oh! That's Gunn. And he's not gay." 

Katherina was genuinely shocked. 

"Really? Man, it's coming off him in waves." 

Whilst Angel pondered over his new seer's observation, Fred took the opportunity to try and get to know Bianca better. 

"So you're a mermaid huh? That's so interesting. I've always wondered about the life of other species. Especially ones with such mystery as mermaids." 

Bianca wasn't exactly the brightest fish in the sea. In fact, she was quite dense. 

"Oh, we don't have mystery. We're really quite healthy." 

Fred stopped for a moment trying to understand what her new friend was saying. 

"What? No, I mean I never knew mermaids existed. You're mythical creatures and all." 

"I wouldn't say mythical. I'd say we were more based in fiction and stuff." 

Fred took this opportunity to delve into her childhood dreams of deep sea diving. Living in Texas, she'd never seen much of the ocean, and it was a mystery to her. She spoke dreamily, remembering all the time she spend reading just so she'd know more. Fred always loved to expand her mind and gain new knowledge. 

"Exactly. What's life like under the ocean? It's probably wonderful. I'd love to see it. A whole new world where beauty reigns? It's like a new dimension under the water I expect. I've always wondered, since my experience with dimensions isn't very pleasant. But the ocean! That calmness, and exploration. All the different sea life to explore and watch. It must be simply amazing." 

Bianca nodded and thought for a while before adding her opinion. 

"The food's not so good." 

"Oh." 

A disappointed Fred and a puzzled Bianca who was rather occupied with her fingernails continued to sit in agreed silence. 

Connor and Spike had been talking for a while now, oblivious of the goings on around them. Had they wanted to, they could have quite easily listened in on all the conversations both on deck and inside the main cabin since they were both endowed with vampiric hearing. They had chosen not to, and instead Spike had been regaling Connor with some of the more embarrassing stories about his father. They'd discussed him in some depth, Angel being something they both having directly in common. Although since Spike was talking about Angel, women soon came up in conversation. 

"You know, Katherina's quite nice." 

"Peach, she's a bitch." 

Bitch was a term not widely used in the Quortoth. 

"Bitch?" 

"Mean, unfriendly, disagreeable, unpleasant..." 

Connor interrupted Spike's list of synonyms. 

"You don't think she's nice?" 

Spike answered him in a rather blasé manner. 

"I think she's likely to be the second coming of the Antichrist." 

"Second? Who's the first?" 

Spike didn't even have to pause to answer. 

"Margaret Thatcher." 

Spike had good reason to dislike that Thatcher woman, having spent the majority of the eighties in the UK enjoying the punk revolution. In a contrast to the other world leaders Spike had come across in his time (and meeting Nixon was a somewhat *interesting* experience), this woman was hip to the existence of the supernatural. And she didn't like it. Lousy whore. What's more is that she criticised his Dru. At the time it was enough for Spike to consider murder, but after calm deliberations he decided she'd made enough enemies for someone else to do it. When Spike thought about it now, he would kick himself for not doing her in when he had the chance. Plus, he was a traditional man. Women in office? Insanity. Usually he was attracted to strong and powerful women. That woman however gave him the creeps. 

"So, are you attracted to her?" 

Connor looked at Spike for a moment. 

"Oh, no. No. I mean, she's part fish." 

Spike drew a large breath, and spoke with a mocking tone and a touch of sarcasm, the mocking aimed mostly at himself. 

"Naturally you can't be with her if she's part fish. I get you. Relationships are doomed to failure if you cross species. Wish I'd known that earlier." 

He looked up at the stars, silently wishing for an absolution. Spike remembered a night similar to this in temperature and atmosphere. A night etched into his memory where he'd spent the majority of the time staring up at the Californian sky with his girl laying by his side, completely naked and covered only by his leather duster. Buffy had found him on the roof of his crypt that night. They never made it back inside. Why did it always have to come back to her? 

"Hmm. That look tells me some girl's done you wrong." 

Spike raised an eyebrow at Connor. What was with this boy's perception? And how did a teenager, understandably lacking in people skills, manage to pick up on such things? Connor got the look and explained. 

"I've watched a lot of TV." 

Spike rolled his eyes. Television. Makes sense. He slouched further. 

"Women. Too much trouble if you ask me. They're not worth it." 

"What makes you say that?" 

Spike smiled. 

"Experience." 

And it was true. Spike couldn't say he'd knew everything when it came to the mysteries of women, but he knew enough to know they were trouble. Cecily. Drusilla. Buffy. Not worth a drop of his time. Never stopped him trying though. 

"Women. They never let you in." 

"No?" 

Spike continued his thoughts out loud to Connor, not in the least bit angry. It was a talk of acceptance and wonderment. Not a slither of bitterness. Which was rather unexpected to say the least. 

"I don't know what's with them. I don't understand how females operate. A hundred years, and they are still the greatest mystery of the universe. I think that if you truly understood them, you wouldn't want them." 

"So it's a whole 'quest for the unknown' thing?" 

Spike smiled. He liked Connor. 

"Precisely. Sure, there's say one or two girls in the whole world that could truly make you happy, but then the problem lies with you. You can't make them happy." 

"What makes you say that?" 

"Experience." 

And didn't he know it. The two women Spike ever romantically loved didn't want him. He was beneath both of them. He wasn't bad enough for Drusilla. Far too human and obsessed with the Slayer was her reasoning. Ironically enough, he wasn't good enough for the Slayer. He could never win. 

"These girls really did you over huh?" 

"You could say so yeah." 

Connor smiled and patted Spike's knee in an attempt to lighten the mood. 

"It'll be fine, I'm sure of it." 

Spike gave Connor a questioning glance. 

"What makes you say that?" 

"Experience." 

Spike intensified his questioning look. 

"All right fine, television. But it always works out!" 

Spike laughed. He really liked Connor. 

"Life isn't a television show Junior. If it were, things would be so much better for me. I might have had a happy ending." 

"What was this girl like anyway?" 

Angel began to make his way over to where Connor and Spike were sitting. Neither noticed however, Connor was busy idol worshiping and Spike was in dreamland thinking about his girl back in Sunnydale. 

"Oh she was amazing to know. She'd make the room light up by just walking in it. When she was with me, she was everything. I didn't need a single thing in world as long as she was by my side. She was sweet, and funny. She was mysterious, and yet at the same time I could read her like a book. She was strong and powerful, even though she'd been through so much. She'd been to hell and back, and yet she was still as ardent as ever. She was smart and determined, and she had this thing she could do with her tongue where she'd..." 

At which point Angel was quick to interrupt. 

"Spike! Continue and my fist is going to finish that sentence!" 

So much for Happy Time. 

"Connor, can we talk?" 

Angel gestured so he could move away and talk to his son. Spike got the message. 

"Right, don't mind me. I know when I'm not wanted." 

Angel laughed to himself. Could Spike not pick up on Angel's waves of hatred? 

"I'm going to head off inside. See how Wes and Gunn are doing. Chat with some real men." 

That cued a tidal wave of hatred from Angel, who had not noticed the small wink and grin Spike had given to Connor. Angel was about to comment on Spike's insult, but Connor interrupted him. 

"You wanted to talk to me Dad?" 

"Yeah, I did." 

Angel's countenance turned serious for a moment and he sat down by Connor as Spike had done, however on his son's left hand side. 

"Listen Connor, I know why you did what you did. And I have to make sure you know that I didn't kill Holtz." 

Connor smiled. 

"I know you didn't. I don't know exactly who did, but I think it was Justine." 

Angel was taken aback by this. Justine had never featured as a suspect originally to him, but now it had been said, it all began to fit together. 

"What makes you think it was her?" 

"Spike said something." 

Angel inwardly groaned. It would have been him wouldn't it? 

"He did, did he?" 

"Yeah." 

Angel still felt like he wanted to know more. Angel PI had just been framed and now he had a personal reason to get to the bottom of this Crime-palooza. 

"Where is Justine?" 

"I don't know. After what happened, before..." 

Connor had got to the stage of guilt where couldn't even say what he'd done. 

_You dumped me in the ocean, it's not hard._

"She left. And I don't care either. I'm not going after her. Vengeance is unnecessary." 

Angel smiled at Connor's maturity that had evolved since he left. 

"It's nice you've learnt that." 

"Well, Spike's a good teacher." 

Angel frowned. 

"You know Connor, I don't know quite what he's said to you, but you don't know Spike the same way I do. I think you should be wary of him." 

"But Spike's a great guy. He's really funny. Great storyteller too. He told me about the old days." 

"I'll bet." 

Angel failed to understand how the "Vampire=Mindless Killer" equation didn't apply to Spike. Thrall? Nope. Spike didn't have the concentration span to learn such a technique. Hell, even Angel didn't have the concentration span to learn how to hold someone in thrall, and Angel had been known to mentally torture people for 7 straight years. 

"I am sorry for what I did. I know that I jumped to conclusions without seeing the bigger picture. It was wrong." 

Angel placed a warming hand on Connor's shoulder, emotionally warming though obviously. 

"It's okay Connor. Everyone makes mistakes." 

Connor laughed. 

_That was the moral of last week's Sabrina... So life's not a television show huh?_

Angel began the speech that he felt he had practiced for years. 

"I understand that you hate me." 

"I don't hate you." 

"You don't?" 

Connor reiterated. 

"No. I don't. That's what I said right?" 

Angel was mixed at the interruption. Surprised at the revelation, and pleasantly surprised at that. Connor continued, staring mindlessly at his hands as he too began to spill his thoughts of the past few days. 

"See, I've had time to think, and I realise that I don't hate you. I don't know you. And I can't hate what I don't know." 

Angel didn't know quite how to take it at first, but he smiled at his son and then spoke. 

"Well, we're just going to have to get to know each other then, won't we?" 

Angel was happy. Here he was, basically given a clean slate by his son to help undo all the damage that Holtz had done. He finally had the chance to be a father. He may have missed the first years of his life, but now he could make things right. Existence was finally looking up. He was on his way back to the hotel that he'd been away from for so long, Wesley was still a loose end, but things were civil and he knew Cordelia was safe. Things were good. He sat with an unusually large smile on his face, and his life was close to being perfectly happy. 

Until Connor spoke. 

"Dad?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Did you really nail a puppy to a..." 

"SPIKE!!!" 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: To be continued..._

I hope you're enjoying this guys, and believe me when I say that the stuff is really going to hit the fan soon. But just for my own peace of mind, do tell me if you're still reading this...

And about Chosen. I'm still crying. Man... that was one heck of a finale.


	25. Twisting The Proverbial Knife

~*-*~ 

Angel and Spike, being the strongest, carried Katherina and Bianca into the Hyperion and continued down towards the pool below. Fred screwed up her nose as she stared at the figures leaving. 

"It's strange you know. Spike and Angel always refer to each other as family, but they look nothing alike." 

Wesley frowned. 

"Of course not Fred. They're not biologically related." 

"Well I know that! I'm just saying is all." 

"Riiiight." 

"You know what? You all better not listen to a word I say. When I start to talk nonsense and get dizzy when I'm doing it, I know I should get some sleep." 

She turned to her boyfriend and planted a huge kiss on his face. Due to the fact she was nearly asleep on her feet, Fred was completely oblivious to proverbial knife she was twisting in Wesley's gut as she continued the overly sentimental display with her boyfriend. 

"I'm going to hit the hay. It's been a long day for me." 

"I'll be down here. Wes and I will help the vampires out with the mermaids." 

He frowned. 

"There's a sentence I never thought I'd say. Well, you go on ahead. Get some sleep, work up your strength for later." 

"You betcha!" 

With that Fred went up the stairs, leaving the two men, and boy, alone in the lobby. The temperature immediately dropped to freezing. 

"I don't like it." 

"What's that Connor?" 

Connor gestured at the two of them. 

"What you're doing. I don't like it. Pretending to be friends." 

"We're doing this for Angel's sake little man." 

Connor walked off towards the kitchen in a moment of disbelief. He stopped to answer Gunn. 

"Don't pretend to know what's good for my father. I know you think I'm naïve, and I agree that don't know much, but I'll tell you what I do know. Keeping up this false display of friendship can only end in disaster. No good can come of lies." 

With the men well and truly told off, he left. It was fair to say that they both felt ten inches tall. Having your mistakes pointed out to you was one thing, having them being pointed out by a person that hadn't been in existence for year was quite another. Gunn and Wesley decided to go help Spike and Angel with making the pool habitable. Or at least they would have, had Angel and Spike not reappeared from downstairs. 

"What are you doing? I thought you were working on the pool." 

"We got bored." 

Angel glared at Spike as he was lounging about as though he owned the place. 

"Correction. Spike got bored. I came to ask you for help." 

Gunn and Wesley agreed to help with the rehabilitation of Katherina and Bianca, but Angel never heard a word. The whole time he grew more and more furious with his cocky childe, who was inspecting his weaponry. 

_What the hell is he... That's *my* broadsword! Don't you dare touch my... there he goes again. That's my favourite pair of mini axes, and he's playing with them... Oh I hope you press the wrong switch on that crossbow and kill yourself boy..._

"Angel, are you preoccupied with something?" 

Angel snapped out of his anger momentarily to answer Wesley. 

"What? No. You guys go down, I'll join you later." 

With that, Gunn and Wes left to go downstairs, finally giving Angel a chance to talk the annoyance that went by the name of Spike. 

"These are your weapons huh? They're nice." 

"Of course they're nice. They're mine." 

Spike put the crossbow he was inspecting back and moved to look at a rather interesting mace, until Angel slapped his hands away. 

"Spike, do you have to touch everything?" 

"Just getting a feel for things around here. Sorry if I'm tainting your precious weaponry with my unworthy hands Your Graciousness." 

Angel allowed himself to ignore the mock reverence in order to remember his own time under the sea. 

"I miss being pampered." 

"I'll bet." 

"How long was I down there?" 

Spike frowned. 

"What, you don't know?" 

Angel's tone grew colder and more reflective. 

"Course not. Whilst I was in that iron tomb, I lost track of time. I could tell whether or not the sun was up but you can only cope for so long. The days fade into weeks, into months, into years. If someone else had found me I'd be able to estimate if they looked say ten years older. And you're not a good guide, considering you don't age... What are you sniggering at?" 

"You." 

"Why?" 

"Hate to break it to you, but you've been gone two, maybe three months tops." 

Pause. 

"That's it?!" 

Spike nodded. 

"Damn! So I take it I didn't miss much then." 

"Only Brazil winning their fifth World Cup. The final was against Germany. Man, that was a weak game." 

Angel cut him off, as he knew the full 90-minute commentary was about to spiel from Spike's mouth. 

"You know I don't care for soccer Spike." 

"Angel, it's "football" not "soccer"! You've been spending too much time with the Yanks my friend." 

The cavalier insult may not have meant much, but it was enough for Angel to access the internal anger that had been caused by Spike these past few days. 

"I'm not your friend. Which brings me to the all-important question. What are you doing here?" 

"What do you think? I came here to rescue you! Save you from the perils of the mighty ocean and return you to your rightful place, defender of all that is good and just in Los Angeles." 

"Wow. Sarcasm. Because you don't do that often." 

"I'm serious!" 

Angel didn't pick up on the sincere way Spike answered his monotone reply. He was still far too angry for that. 

"Spike, the only times you've ever come to me were either to drain my blood, beat me up or torture me, so forgive me for not being forgiving." 

"Seriously Angel, I needed your help in a non fatal way. So I come to L.A. only to find you, well, lost. With a son I might add, and I seriously have to talk to you about that." 

The mention of the word 'son' was enough to pull a rather hungry young boy out of the kitchen. Connor didn't let himself be noticed by the arguing vampires, but he did keep listening in. 

"Oh no. Don't you turn this on me, we're talking about you here." 

"Angel? Darla?! What the hell were you thinking?!" 

Angel began to pace up and down. The conversation was moving away from Spike and on to him, and he wasn't at all comfortable with it. 

"I was in a bad place." 

"I take it that place was out of your mind?" 

For a moment Angel was about to start defending himself, until he remembered that he was not the one who was supposed to be questioned. 

"I don't see how this is relevant. It doesn't affect you." 

"I just thought you'd have better sense than to put the universe at risk when you slept with Darla." 

"Universe? Stretching it just a bit there." 

Spike counted off his fingers as he spoke, and Angel had an answer for everything. Not a good one grant you, but one nonetheless. Of course he didn't say anything out loud, as he was never one for truly sharing his feelings. It was a consequence of being alone for as long as he had been. 

"Erm, let us not forget your last unsouled outing. You caused a countless number of deaths," 

_You hypocrite._

"You tortured the Watcher and he hasn't forgotten about that too," 

_Like you've never done the same..._

"You put the fear of God into my Nibblet," 

_"Your Nibblet"?_

"And if it wasn't for me and Buffy you'd have sucked the world into hell!" 

Angel couldn't take any more. 

"Thank you very much Spike. That's just lovely. Throw all of my mistakes in my face, play the guilt trip when you know very well that I can't retaliate in kind. What would you know about it anyway? Guilt and remorse are nothing but words to you! You have no idea what I have to go through every day! Listen boy, don't play those games with me because you won't win. You'll never win. You can't beat me because I will always be better than you. So don't even try. You're worthless Spike. You're nothing. Nothing, and you know it. That's all you are and all you ever will be. An evil soulless thing." 

Then Spike did something unexpected. He laughed. It wasn't a laugh of joy, or amusement. It was a laugh of pain. A laugh at the sheer irony displayed before him. He laughed purely because he couldn't cry. He'd cried so much, and he couldn't cry now. He was tired of crying. So all Spike did was laugh. He laughed for so long it was uncomfortable to watch. By the end it had become nothing more than an insane giggle. Spike giggled his way out of the door and sat out in the courtyard, where he continued to laugh. 

As Angel stared with contempt at the retreating form moving out of the door, Connor decided that he'd heard enough. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: As you can see, totally serious with the regular updates! Thank you so much people for all your reviews. [starts crying] You like me! You really like me! [stops crying] Seriously though... (Me? Serious? Never!) this fic was so much fun to write, I just hope it's fun to read too! I'm even starting to get a sequel into my head... which is scary. But I won't get that even down on paper until my exams are over (Anybody else in the UK taking their A-Levels? I know your pain. In fact, same goes for AS's and GCSEs. SATS?! Peh. You're getting off easy...) and I'm talking end of June. That said, the sequel's a def._

But once again, thank you so much! You have no idea how much your opinion means to me... 


	26. And It All Breaks Down

~*-*~ 

Angel had stopped frowning and was slightly baffled at this point. That was not the reaction he had expected. Then again, he wasn't quite sure what he was expecting Spike to do. He didn't have time to think further as he heard his son's footsteps behind him. 

"Oh, hey Connor. It's late, you should be asleep." 

Connor held up his near finished sandwich, and then finished it. 

"I was hungry." 

"Right. Right." 

Angel placed his hands in his pockets, a gesture that showed nervousness. Obviously it would show nervousness, since Angel was nervous. He still wasn't quite so sure how to handle his teenage son. Most parents don't know how to handle their teenagers, let alone ones that have been estranged from their parents for sixteen years. The thought of estranged children brought Angel back to Spike and their previous argument. 

"How long have you been standing there?" 

"Long enough. It's not like it matters where I stand though. I have super hearing." 

Connor smirked before continuing. 

"Must have inherited it from my mother." 

The thought of the woman Angel had spent near to a century and half with had to make him smile. It was a sad smile though, as it reminded Angel that Darla wasn't here. She wasn't here to see the son she'd given birth to. Darla would never be able to hold him, talk to him or nurture him. She'd been nothing but a body. The Powers had used her as a rental for their mystical child, and then discarded her without a moments pause. It hurt Angel just to think about it. 

_She should be here._

He could see her in him. Nobody else seemed to, but Angel did. The air of superiority. The pride. Sixteen years in hell with the enemy couldn't change that. Angel looked at his son. Darla's son. 

"Yeah. She was a great person." 

"You loved her?" 

Angel thought about this. Two years ago the answer wasn't easy. Now he was sure. When he was with Darla he didn't have a soul. And he'd always said he was incapable of loving anything. But they did share a form of love, twisted and perverse as it was, but it was still love. The short time they had spent together after she'd returned was special too. Angel had watched this woman give up her life for the baby they'd created. It was easy now. 

"Yes. Yes I did." 

"And it's my fault that she's not with you anymore." 

Angel took these words in and frowned at the thought. Connor thought there was blame involved? 

"What? No. Connor, don't think that." 

Connor stated his belief in a rather matter of fact way. 

"She died to save me right? So, if I didn't exist then she still would be alive." 

"It's not that simple." 

Indeed it wasn't, not that Connor knew it. Connor had been raised by a puritanical man from the eighteenth century. He had the same ideals, morals and mind processes of someone from two centuries ago. He had so much to learn. But for now, he was busy spewing the thoughts that had been instilled him since he was taken away. 

"I'm the bastard child of a vampire. I was never meant to happen." 

"That's not true!" 

Angel just shook his head in disbelief. 

"Connor, what brought this on all of a sudden?" 

Connor continued to answer simply. 

"You're in a bad place, remember?" 

"That was back then, not now." 

Connor looked away and sighed. 

"I'm just making it worse. I don't belong here." 

"You're not making things worse. You've made it so much better, you wouldn't believe how much." 

Angel took Connor by the shoulders, almost trying to shake the idea out of him. 

"Connor, having you in this world means more to me than I ever thought anything could. Never forget that. I love you Connor. You're my son, and you belong here with me." 

The boy looked up into his father's eyes, almost unbelievingly. 

"Then why are you so mad?" 

"I'm not mad." 

"Yes you are! Ever since you got back you've been angry with me." 

Connor went and sat down defeated on the circular couch. 

"I know I can't take back what I did, and I said I was sorry." 

"Oh, I'm not angry at you." 

Angel had to think that one through. 

"Not anymore. I was, but I've forgiven you. Really, I have. In your situation, I probably would have done the same thing." 

Connor frowned in confusion. If his father would have done the same, then why was it still a bad thing to do? 

"Even though vengeance is wrong?" 

Angel smiled. 

"Even though vengeance is wrong." 

He moved to sit down next to his son. 

"Connor, I'm not pretending to be perfect. Nobody is. I've done things in my lifetime purely out of a thirst for vengeance, even with my soul. To want revenge for something is a natural human reaction. We just have to slowly condition ourselves against it." 

Connor paused in thought. 

"So, you're not angry with me?" 

"No." 

Connor jumped and snapped at his father, which was yet another reaction of the day Angel was not prepared for. 

"Then why are you like this?" 

"Like what?" 

"Angry! You've been furious with everyone for the whole day!" 

Angel thought back to his dealings for the day. He hadn't been furious with everyone the whole day had he? Angel had snapped at Fred that once, and then Gunn and Wesley... and yes. He'd been angry at everyone. Oops. 

"I guess I have been a little sharp with everyone for a while." 

Angel put his finger right on the reason he'd been angry with everyone. 

"It's just... Spike and I have a complicated relationship. He has a tendency to put my back up a lot. Sorry if I've been taking it out on you." 

Connor folded his arms. 

"And Spike?" 

Angel shrugged. He wasn't really all too fussed about Spike at the moment. 

"What about him?" 

"Why have you been taking it out on Spike? I heard what you said to him." 

"Nothing that wasn't true." 

"How could you say something so hurtful to Spike?" 

Angel's eyes widened as he jumped off the couch and threw his arms up. 

"What the hell? Did he brainwash everyone or something and I'm the only one who can see him for the monster he is?" 

"He's the same monster you are." 

Angel gestured towards the doors Spike had left through as he spoke. 

"No he's not the same! He's a vampire!" 

"So are you." 

"Yes, but I have a soul, a conscience!" 

Connor countered him on that point. 

"So does he." 

Angel stared blankly at what his son was inferring. 

"What?!" 

Connor explained, as if this fact was common knowledge to everyone. 

"Spike has a soul, you know that." 

Angel was clearly not a part of everyone. He blinked repeatedly and his mouth dropped. Connor was watching his dad's reaction and hissed through his teeth. 

"You do know that right?" 

Angel slowly shook his head. This was clearly taking a while to register. 

"Oh. See I thought you knew that." 

All of a sudden, Angel needed to breathe. Why was it that only now did he feel the need for oxygen? Angel was panting in shock, shock not only from the mother load of Spike having a soul, but also from the load of feeling the need to pant. 

"Wow, I thought he'd have told you by now. That's why he's here." 

Angel looked out the doors and then back at Connor. 

"He has a soul?" 

Boy, nothing gets past Angel does it? 

"Yeah, and he couldn't deal. And so he came to you." 

Connor twisted the knife. 

"And whilst he's suffering all kinds of guilt and a feeling of utter worthlessness, you go and make him feel like even more of a nobody." 

Angel was still shaking his head. He was still in shock. This wasn't something he was going to get used to quickly. 

"I didn't know. I couldn't tell." 

His hand moved to his head and ran quickly through his hair, which was still in no fit state by Angel's standards, not that Angel cared about his hair anymore. 

"I should have been able to tell. Why was I not able to tell?" 

Then it hit him. The sign that he missed for the past few days. The indicator that only made sense now. 

"His eyes. Oh God, his eyes." 

They'd lost their sparkle. Spike hadn't been happy since he'd been here. The fire that had always burned in his eyes was dead, and that what the guilt had done. Angel had been able to tell Spike was different, but he didn't know exactly how. It should have been obvious. But instead, he'd ripped into him and ignored all the telltale signs. Spike clearly hadn't been sleeping. He was thinner. He was sober. And most of all he was here. And yet Angel didn't even notice. 

"I'm a terrible person." 

Connor relayed the advice his father (and Sabrina The Teenage Witch, funnily enough) had given to him earlier. 

"Everyone makes mistakes." 

Angel sat down and held his head in his hands. He couldn't get over what he'd done, and what he'd said. Through sheer ignorance he'd kicked Spike when he was down, when he was most vulnerable. Angel thought back to how he felt over a century ago when he first gained his soul, and tried to imagine how he would react to the belittling that Spike had just suffered. Angel knew he had to go and talk to him. 

Connor moved next to Angel and took this opportunity to help his father, in a strange reversal of roles. 

"I've watched him. He's hiding behind that bravado, but he's broken inside." 

Angel looked up at his son, the young man who spoke with wisdom beyond his years. 

"He can't do this without you." 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Angel knows! Angel knows! He **finally** knows!_

**Sabra** - You know, I've never rocked anybody's socks before. Cool... **Blue Star?** Sweetie, you're like my... shining blue star! I wuv you lots! 


	27. Spike Has A Soul

~*-*~ 

Spike has a soul. 

_Spike_ has a soul. 

Spike has a _soul_. 

I'm never going to get used to the sound of that. 

There is a vampire with a soul out there that's not me. Or, not so much out there as right here in front of me. And, of all the vampires out there that could have a soul, it would be ironic for it to be one of mine. That's not so much irony though, now I think about it. Just weird. 

It kinda makes me wonder, who the hell did Spike have to piss off to get a soul? Did he snack on a gypsy or something, because that would be beyond stupid. I mean, Poster-boy for the not eating of gypsies here. I doubt he'd do anything crazy like that. Then again, Spike's not one for convention. 

It's not convention to be sitting in silence whilst staring into space either, yet here he is doing precisely that in my courtyard. I guess it all slots into place now. No wonder he looks drained. He hasn't slept. It took me years to finally get a good night's sleep after being cursed. What am I talking about, years? I'm not sure I've ever really had one yet. 

Spike has a soul. 

Nope. Still doesn't sound right. 

I cannot believe I didn't notice before. It was staring me in the face and I just didn't pick up on it. I let my anger and frustration get the better of me. He came to me for help, and I didn't pick up on it? Some sire I turned out to be. No wonder he hates me. 

It would be a foolish thought though to think he only hates me now of course. He's likely to have always hated me. And with good cause. Do I deserve anything besides his hate? I made him what he was, the cruellest vampire to walk the planet. Barring myself of course. I made him in my own image. Or tried. And when he didn't fit my mould, he'd feel the pain. I'd make him feel it. He'd feel it until he enjoyed it. I'm partially to blame for how he feels now. Oh, I won't go overboard and say that he's completely my fault. Dru turned him, not me. But still... without my influence he wouldn't have been half as evil as he was. And now he's got to suffer with the guilt of doing everything I taught him to do. 

Spike has a soul. 

I'm an idiot. 

"I know you're there. Watching me." 

He sounds broken. He is broken. But he needs me to watch him. He's not complaining. It's just a statement of fact. He's not even looking at me as he speaks. Maybe because if he did, I'd see the shame in his eyes. 

"I know I may not show it, and if you repeat this to anyone I'll deny it to buggery, but I do hold a lot of respect for you." 

Spike holds respect for me he says. Respect that he hasn't been forced to give. This is new. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah." 

He's talking about the soul. He doesn't even need to specify. I guess he knows that I know. I guess he knows that I know that he knows that I know. He probably also knows I'm an idiot. Great. 

"And for you it's been this way for the past century?" 

The past century? Pain. Guilt. Horror. Remorse. Torment. Non-stop boy, believe me. And if you think these past few weeks or months or however long you've had your soul is bad, just wait. You'll relive a crime every time you see a new face. Trust me. Every person in California bears some resemblance to one of my victims, and it hurts every time I leave the hotel. It hurts when I'm in the hotel reading the newspaper about the world and people outside. It hurts when I'm in the hotel watching television. It hurts. 

"Yeah." 

That's not all he's going to say is it? I mean, I feel bad enough already. The silence is just making it worse. Not just for me I imagine, but also for him. All this time in silence is going to make him reflect some more and make him more miserable. And the more miserable he is, the more miserable I am. He has to move on a little. 

"Spike, I'm sorry about what I said." 

Uh-oh. I know that look. He's angry now. He's got that bitter and sarcastic face on. I know that face! 

"How's that work?" 

How does it work that I'm sorry? Pretty damned obvious boy. 

"I didn't know." 

"And so therefore, just because you didn't know, it gives you the right to be all high and mighty." 

High and mighty? Where is he getting this? 

"I never said that." 

"You implied it. You've brainwashed yourself into thinking that just because you're soul-having and all that, it makes you better than the rest of us." 

"That's not true." 

"Do you know you're a vampire?" 

Spike, stop asking me stupid questions. Where he is going with this line of questioning I'll never know. 

"Of course." 

"But you do your best to forget it right?" 

Do I forget that I'm a vampire? I never forget. I can't forget. I have to see the monster inside me every day. Of course I'd want to forget, and I try to forget. 

"It's the side of me I'm most ashamed of, yes." 

He's looking at me straight in the eye now. 

"Yes, well maybe that's your problem. Maybe if you embraced the evil as a part of you that can't be changed, you might just be happy for once." 

But I can't be happy, remember? I will never be happy. Does anyone think I don't want to? I can't help it. I was made this way. To live forever and never be able to enjoy it. When it comes to being dealt a bad hand in life, all I've got is two jacks and a three. 

And we're back to awkward silence thing. Great. Spike's sitting there, still, and I'm standing here over him, still. When did things become so strange between us? Oh yes, since he went out and managed to get a soul. I hate to say it, but I'm beginning to miss the arguments and the fights. At least then we were talking. Now he doesn't tell me anything. Even when I need to know. 

"Why didn't you tell me Spike?" 

"I just couldn't." 

What kind of an excuse is that? "Just couldn't"? How could he have kept something so huge from me, and not said a word?! Sure, he wasn't lying, but he wasn't exactly telling the whole truth either, which can be worse. But I'm not here to get mad at him. I'm here to find out the truth. Why he has a soul, why he came to me. I think it's too early to ask about who cursed him though. We've got time. He is not making this any simpler. 

"Spike, you've had lots of opportunities. You could have told me before." 

He's angry again. I just can't stop messing up. Neither of us can. Why is it that we always wind each other up? And so unintentionally? 

"Of course I couldn't tell you before! It wasn't for lack of trying, believe me." 

He's close to tears. 

"I was scared okay? You heard me. Scared. I didn't know if you'd help me. I didn't know how'd you react." 

Poor boy. I can't help but smile. He's scared of me now? That's a first. 

"Did you honestly think I wouldn't do anything to help you?" 

"I've pissed you off enough." 

No matter how much Spike could piss me off, it would never be enough for me to turn away from him in his hour of need. Surely even he knows that. 

"Spike please. Darla magically appears in LA with a soul and I nearly die for her, meanwhile you show up and I say "Screw you, and don't let the door hit you on the way out!"? Not likely." 

I'm close to laughter now. The thought is ridiculous. Spike's not quite so happy though. 

"Yes but you loved Darla." 

Didn't even have to think twice. 

"I loved you." 

He's smiling. A small, but still genuine smile. And that's the important part. He needs reassurance, I'll give it to him. I'll give him anything he needs just to stay. He shouldn't have to suffer the way I did. Nobody deserves that. 

"Spike, you're welcome here for as long as you need to. I don't want anyone else having to go through this alone." 

And I think he understands. And all of a sudden, this awkward silence doesn't feel so awkward anymore. 

Spike has a soul. 

Okay, that sentence still is awkward. 

"Why so exhausted?" 

He's looking at me as though he cares. I guess he does care. And I look exhausted? Probably because of the shock that just landed on me thanks to my son a few moments ago. 

"Connor just had one of those "I don't belong here" things at me. It was so strange. At first he was fine and then BAM. He hates me again. I'm never going to undo the damage Holtz did." 

He's smiling now. This is good. We're repairing the relationship. 

"That's not Holtz, Peaches, that's hormones. It's been a while since you've had to deal with a teenager huh? It's cute." 

"Cute? Oh, like you're the expert?" 

"Well, I've spent the last two years coddling Dawn which gives me an up on you. Believe me, I love the Bit to pieces, but when she goes off on a teenage angst fest..." 

"You gotta get out of there?" 

"Mmm-hmm." 

Spike and I are actually having a conversation. Without violence involved. Never thought I'd see the day. 

"Well, I don't have that privilege Spike. I'm his father." 

"Oh well. Here's my tip for you then. If you can't solve his problem by conventional means, I find that presents and ice-cream patch up the problem pretty well." 

Parenting advice from Spike? Oh this is rich. 

"I think that the ice-cream only applies to the female of the teenager species." 

"Nope. It's most definitely universal. Many a time I have found myself sharing a huge Haagen-Dazs tub with Harris, simply with the addition of beer so it's alcoholic." 

I'm running this last sentence through my head a couple of times, just to make sure I have the reference right. 

"Harris? Xander Harris?" 

"What?!" 

And he's looking at me with those eyes for what reason? Did he think it was normal for a vampire to sit around eating ice-cream with people that were supposed to be dinner? And of all people, Xander? That shows tolerance of an amazing kind, soul or no soul. Or maybe Xander only hated me and not Spike, it's not as though I was around long enough to find out. Hey... that wouldn't be fair. Why would Xander hate me and then sit around and bond with Spike? What's Spike got that I haven't?! I'm getting insanely jealous again for no reason aren't I? What did I just learn from doing that? 

"You're remarkably close to the gang up in Sunnydale huh?" 

"Well you know me." 

Or at least I thought I did. Didn't think you'd go out and manage to get a soul, but somehow you have. Guess I didn't know you at all. Separation can do that. 

"Yeah. You're not one for solitude." 

"Meaning?" 

"Meaning you'd reach wherever, even to the enemy, if it meant companionship." 

"That's crap." 

He's looking at me as if I don't know, but I do. Spike doesn't run very well without a pack, be it good or evil. He's always needed appreciation from people. Acceptance. It's been his power and drive the whole time. Left over issues from his human life maybe? That's probably how he got his soul then. Trying to fit in with his human pals. I'm not sure. Either way, Dr Angel is quite finished with his psychoanalysing of the patient. 

"I've watched you for some time now. Don't think I don't notice these things." 

"Well it's hard to tell. Most of the time you've got your head rammed firmly up your own arse." 

Great. A perfectly good comment turned around on me for no good reason. Spike can be so catty sometimes. 

"I was trying to be nice." 

"I wasn't." 

Now there's the Spike I remember. 

"My point is I'm not surprised you'd stick with the good guys all the while hating their guts." 

"Well, that's not exactly true. I don't hate _all_ of them." 

Oooh... I predict this will be blackmail worthy material now. He's got that look about him... He's almost guilty of liking some of the Sunnydale group. 

"No?" 

"Of course not. I mean... I don't hate the Watcher. Rupert's a stand up bloke to hang with, providing you don't finish all his alcohol because then he gets pissed." 

"He gets pissed if he _doesn't_ have alcohol? Knew he was a lightweight." 

"It was a joke you ninny." 

Big whoop. Spike doesn't hate Giles? Who would? The man's quite agreeable. Don't see why he's guilty of that. 

"So you don't hate Giles huh? I don't hate him either." 

"Funny. He hates you." 

I have to take a moment. Giles hates me? 

"What?" 

"At least I think he hates you." 

"Why would he hate me?" 

"I don't know why he would either!" 

Spike, don't get sarcastic with me. It's not really all too obvious why the man would hate me. 

"All you did was kill his girlfriend, torture him for hours, hound everyone he holds dear and try to bring forth an apocalypse. The guy is just plain unreasonable!" 

Apart from all that of course. 

"I get it Spike." 

"And I mean Dawn, well... who does like scary men in their bedrooms at night when you're only eleven huh?" 

Why is he doing this? It's just plain unfair. 

"Oh, and Willow?" 

Can't help but be concerned now. Willow was always one of the closest to me when it came to my friends in Sunnydale. 

"What about Willow?" 

"She still can't bring herself to keep fish." 

Oh God. Why did I do that? Oh, I know why. Because I was evil and wanted people to suffer. I had lashed out at everyone, and been so cruel. I may have killed people, like Jenny, and I'd apologised for that. But I had forgotten the little things too. Like Willow's fish. 

"I never did apologise about the fish." 

"Oh no. You're not going to start brooding all night about the fish are you?" 

"Fish are people too." 

Good way to wind Spike up I see. Self-loathing. 

"No they are not!" 

Spike thinks for a moment. 

"Unless they are... Well they're not usually. I'm sure Willow's fine really. Lovely chit." 

"Hmm?" 

Don't tell me Spike is close to Willow too... 

"Willow, yeah. Really kind. I have to say I was worried last year, what with the dabbling in dark magicks, necromancy and the like, but she finally cracked the habit a few months back. I have faith in her, she'll be fine." 

He was worried? Hell, we were all worried. I also remember the meeting Buffy and I had last year after she came back. Happy she was alive of course, but Willow bringing her back? Scarily powerful. Well, it sounds as though she's not so bad anymore. 

"You like Willow?" 

"Oh Willow's great. But not my favourite. Tara, Willow's girlfriend? She's a spitfire she is. Plays the shy routine. Doesn't fool me for a moment... well at least not anymore." 

Spike's getting more animated as he speaks. He's looking ultimately adorable at this point. 

"See, there was this one time last year, at this birthday party and the whole time she kept playing me... and you think I'm crazy don't you?" 

"Not in the least. I think it's cute." 

"Cute?" 

"Yeah. You and your pet humans." 

"No need to take the mick. You've got your own pets in there too." 

I really wouldn't regard them as my pets. Co-workers yes, son and friends... But not pets. Not anymore. Which reminds me. 

"Do you remember when we used to keep pet humans back in the day? You know, like *real* pets?" 

"I remember. God, we were evil." 

He's looking wistful. 

"But it still was fun." 

"Tell me about it. Do you miss it?" 

I know what he's talking about, but I might as well play dumb for a moment. 

"Miss what?" 

"Being evil." 

"Oh yeah." 

Being evil is so much more simple than fighting for what's right. Things are easier when you're evil. Clear cut. There are things that are wrong and that's just that. No grey area. I miss that. Plus, it's gratifying. Yes, I'm a vampire. Can't help murderous tendencies as much as I try. Still want to kill people. Just don't. 

"Anya's alright." 

Okay, scanning the name for recollection... Anya... Anya... I think Willow might have mentioned her last year after... when she came to talk that time. 

"Anya? That's Xander's girlfriend isn't it?" 

"Ex-girlfriend rather. There was this whole _thing_." 

Life's complicated everywhere then it would appear. 

"Oh! _Things_. Totally get those." 

"Got a mouth on her that one does."

I don't think I want to know how Spike knows that. 

"Yeah, well she's a pretty nice person. You might know her." 

"No, I don't." 

I'm pretty certain I don't. The name isn't exactly rare, but it's not common either. I'm sure I'd remember it... 

"What about if I said she was Anyanka?" 

Oh... crap. 

"No way! Xander went out with the patron saint of wronged women?! For his sake, please tell me that they broke up on mutual terms..." 

The look on Spike's face says otherwise. Oh dear... I wasn't fond of Xander, but I've heard stories. I feel so sorry for him... and that in itself is surprising. 

"Are his balls still intact?" 

"They were when I left Sunnydale, can't tell you much beyond that." 

Well... if what I've heard is true, Xander's in trouble. Poor guy. 

"Yeah, so I'm kind of okay with the gang. We're cool." 

The gang. And that's all the gang. He thinks I haven't noticed. I have. 

"Except you're trying to avoid mentioning her." 

"Maybe I am." 

Her. It's enough. We both know who we're talking about. I guess he's trying to cushion me. It's not so bad. I'm not fussed if he's talking to her more than I am. When I left Sunnydale, there was a reason, and that's fine. I can accept them being close now. I mean, it's not so bad. Not like they've been sleeping together or anything crazy like that. 

"It's okay Spike, you can say her name." 

"You can't." 

I'm trying as hard as I can to read the expression on Spike's face. And he's not making things easy for me. I would have more time to investigate, if it wasn't for Gunn coming out here. 

"Connor said I'd find you out here. We got a case." 

I can see Spike looking at us like we're crazy. 

"Private investigator, remember? What's the sitch?" 

"Sitch?!" 

He's laughing now. Since when was sitch such a bad word? 

"One of the mermaids had a vision. You know, the one with the slightly bluer scales?" 

"Katherina. Right. What did she see?" 

"Not much. They don't know things all too well up here." 

"They must have a lead of some sort." 

Gunn's racking his brains for more information. Something to kill. Should loosen things up a little around here from the recent revelation. 

"From the description of the area, it's a park somewhere." 

"Oh well _that_ narrows it down..." 

Spike's being sarcastic again. He's certainly feeling better. 

"And there are a bunch of kids who are going to be attacked by some grinch-slack thing. Big and brown." 

"Grenshlaks?" 

He's nodding. Great. Grenshlaks. That's just _fantastic_. Note the extreme sarcasm. It's always fantastic to fight creatures that have no sense of hygiene and are just downright ugly. 

"So, did she figure out anything else?" 

"All she knows is that the park has a lake, because she recognised the grenshlaks. They're water-type demons." 

Well... this is good. And of course Spike has his own input. 

"Water type? Well then that's easy. We just send Pikachu off to fight these things then go for drinks!" 

Spike? Pokemon? Should I even ask? 

"I'm never going to live that down am I?" 

With a slow shaking of my head, I turn back to Gunn. 

"Sounds like an axes all round kinda thing. Don't worry Gunn, I'll handle it." 

"You sure? Grenshlaks aren't the friendliest of the lot." 

"I guess I could use some back up. Spike. You in?" 

Offering the olive branch. My hand is out there, he just has to take it. Please take it. Things have to improve. This is more than a fight Spike. This is accepting my offer. Stay. Heal. You're in the fold now. He's looking at me. He's thinking. Come on... Just say yes. 

"I'm in." 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Angel & Spike? Friends again? Sigh. If only it were so simple..._


	28. A Huge Vat Of Giant Demon Snakes

~*-*~ 

**_Two Weeks Later_**

Angel limped into the Hyperion leaning onto Spike's shoulder for support. It was early morning, and the two vampires were returning from saving yet more people. Fred and Gunn were upstairs asleep and Wesley was working hard and strong in the office. 

"I cannot believe you got a sword in the gut. Again!" 

"I can believe it rather easily Spike. The blinding pain is hard to forget." 

On their mission to kill the offending demons, Angel had managed to get stabbed. Although Angel in his 250 years had learnt the art of being stealthy, Spike had yet to accept this as a tactic. He'd stormed in completely removing the element of surprise and levelled the playing field, which in this situation was not a good thing. 

"Either way, I'm blaming you for this." 

"Whatever. Here." 

Spike handed Angel a glass of blood in an attempt to help him heal faster. Angel quickly swallowed, or as quickly as he could considering the pain. Meanwhile, Spike had now returned with first aid goodies. 

"Now, hold still will you?" 

Spike proceeded to peel the blood stained shirt off his sire and inspect the stab wound, which was funnily enough a mirror of the same one that Angel had received the week before. Spike wasn't going to mention it, since he would be blamed for that one too. A glint crossed Spike's eye, and before Angel noticed, Spike doused some cotton wool in iodine and attacked Angel's lower abdomen. 

"Ow! What did you do that for?!" 

Spike smiled a sickly sweet smile at this. 

"What? Don't want you getting a nasty infection do we?" 

Angel groaned. He saw right through it. 

"An infection won't kill me. I'm already dead. You're just being mischievous." 

"Maybe. Still, was fun to hear you scream like a girl." 

Angel didn't even respond to that. Spike was just trying to get a rise out of him one way or another. Angel sighed as Spike continued wrapping him. 

"There we go! All better." 

"You're babying me. Don't baby me." 

Spike took the first aid pack away and threw Angel a new shirt that was oddly in the study. Spike didn't want to go into the story that led to Angel's shirt being left in there. 

"Fine. In future you can dress your wounds yourself." 

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Thank you for the help." 

Spike's venture into the study pulled out Wesley, who had been working on new information. Although technically still a member of Angel Investigations (its head was still listed as Wesley Wyndham-Price), he was mostly only investigating work for himself. 

"You're back. I take it you were successful." 

Spike grinned in satisfaction. 

"The Los Angeles snake population has decreased!" 

"I shall go and tell Katherina the news." 

Angel looked up from his position lying on the lounge couch to take a glance at Wesley's appearance. Something was slight off. 

"Wesley... is your hair wet?" 

"Maybe." 

This earned him a questioning glare from both vampires, the one in pain on the couch and the one who was beginning to clean off some swords. 

"I went swimming." 

Wesley could do this now of course since upon receiving the mermaids the pool was now habitable. Pleasant to swim in. The fact that there were two semi-naked girls in the pool didn't make it too bad either. Spike smiled at the thought of the second point, as he knew that was more likely to be the reason. He was wrong, as Wesley's reasons for swimming were quite different. It was always nice to be around people who didn't judge you. 

"How do you feel?" 

Wesley gave a satisfied smile. 

"Exhilarated. You?" 

"Exhausted." 

"Angel, how about you?" 

Angel just glared at Spike before answering Wesley. 

"Like somebody turned my own sword on me." 

"Terribly sorry." 

"Don't be. It's Spike's fault." 

"My fault?! How is this my fault?" 

Wesley took this opportunity to leave. He'd been privy to some of Spike and Angel's arguments over the past few weeks and so he knew it wouldn't be over just yet. After all, there were some mermaids downstairs who probably wondered if the vision they had was averted. Neither Spike nor Angel noticed Wesley's disappearance however. They were too busy fighting, yet again. 

"This never would have happened if you didn't just run in there half-cocked." 

"I went in fully-cocked, I assure you." 

Spike? Miss a chance at innuendo? Not bloody likely. 

"Spike, don't be an idiot." 

Spike rolled his eyes at this. It was hardly his fault if Angel didn't know how to have fun with the job. 

"And are you wearing my coat?" 

Now Spike was getting annoyed. Angel was so damned materialistic. Spike responded though how he always did. With humour and sarcasm. 

"Would you rather I wandered around naked and catch a cold?" 

Angel didn't get the sarcasm. 

"Spike, you don't have a body temperature. Strip." 

"You strip!" 

The frown Spike received was enough for him not to continue down that path. He shrugged off the coat and placed it on the side. 

"Okay! Okay! Jeez, it's just a damned coat." 

"Can't you get anything of your own?" 

"I'm sorry I couldn't get my own clothes, I haven't been home for the past 3 months or so." 

And Spike hadn't. He'd left Sunnydale in mid May, and it was already October. What was Spike saying, three months? It was nearly five. 

"Why do you have to take everything that's mine?" 

"I don't!" 

Angel was hitting rant phase now. He'd be hitting the roof too, if it wasn't for the pain that left him seated. 

"Yes, you do! If it's not my clothes, it's my friends! If it's not my friends, it's my weapons! Or it's my son, or my self-identity or damn it Spike, even my women!" 

"Your women?! Oh please! Dru and... Dru was never yours to have!" 

Boy that was close. 

"You've been forever horning in on my territory." 

The two were starting to reopen century old wounds by bringing up such issues. Fair to say, they had been unable to really tackle their problems over the years because they hadn't been around each other much. No time like the present. 

"It's not my fault you're so possessive and territorial. If you could think for a moment, you'd realise none of that's true." 

"Oh yeah? My son *idolises* you. And you're setting a bad example. You've been undermining my authority the whole time you've been here!" 

"It's not my fault if the boy likes me." 

Spike couldn't see where Angel was coming from, and so the elder tried to make it painfully clear. 

"You know how much trouble I'm going to just to try and be a good father for Connor, why are you making it so much harder?" 

Spike shuffled his feet. He'd forgotten about this. Over the past few weeks, Spike had been making himself at home, but in turn he wasn't being the best of a role model for young impressionable hellspawn. But surely it couldn't be that much of a problem right? 

"Well sorry, I didn't realise it was such a big issue." 

"Yes well it is. If you thought about anyone besides yourself for a change, you could have realised that. How is it that over the course of a hundred years you just won't grow up? Why are you so self involved?" 

Spike took offence. 

"I'm hardly self involved. I just didn't think it mattered to you." 

Angel rolled his eyes. He began to wonder if the person in front of him even knew what being self involved meant. Not thinking about how your actions affect others? Implies a certain level of self-involvement. 

_Idiot._

"You've always been this way, ever since the day we made you." 

"Hello? You're my Sire. You turned me into what I am today." 

"Dru, bless her heart, she had no idea what she was doing. You never should have been turned. Darla was right, we should have killed you that night." 

Spike, believe it or not, turned pale. Even paler than usual. 

"What?" 

Angel suddenly realised what he'd said, and that he'd mixed up his thoughts and his words. Spike had heard Angel loud and clear, and he didn't like it. Angel quickly backtracked and apologised. 

"Spike, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." 

It was too late for apologies. Spike was mad. 

"You didn't want me? Is that what you're saying? You always said that Dru picked me out. I was 'special', remember?" 

Having realised that he'd just opened an extra large can of worms, or more of a huge vat of giant demon snakes similar to what they had slaughtered earlier, Angel decided that it would just have to be dealt another day. The pain in his side agreed with him. 

"I don't want to talk about it. Let's just go to bed." 

Spike would have none of it. 

"No, I want to talk about this now." 

Although not in agony anymore, he was still in quite some pain. A few hours and sting would disappear, and a day or two would bring him back to full health. 

"It's dawn, I'm tired." 

"Yeah, well I don't care if you're tired. You're going to talk to me." 

"Forget it Spike, we can do this another time. Just sleep." 

With that Angel tried to find his way up the stairs, all the while ignoring Spike's insistence that he stay and talk things out. 

"No. Don't you walk away!" 

After being ignored for a while, Spike was in a frightful state. He grabbed the first thing he could get his hands on, even though it wasn't a bright idea. By this point Angel must have regretted not having locked the weapons cabinet on his way. Spike took a heavy sword, ignoring that Angel was in no condition to be able to retaliate and went straight for the beaten figure edging up the stairs. 

"God Angelus, stop turning your back on me!" 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Wahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!_

That means I'm happy BTW.

I crossed the 100 review mark. Ahhhh! You have no idea how much that helped me! It actually did help you know. I had Pure 4 Maths on Tuesday afternoon, and I was floating around like a mad thing like I'd taken Opium or something cause I was so damned happy. Happy J is a passing J. The exam went alright actually. I have Economics tomorrow morning. It's all good.

All that aside, thank you guys so much. I wouldn't have made it this far without you. Sigh. If only things could go this way next season... 


	29. Again

~*-*~ 

Connor, startled, came running to the door of his room. The hurtful clashing of metal from the downstairs lobby had awoken him, considering his light sleeping. Having grown up in the Quortoth, Connor had learnt full well the dangers of sleeping too deeply. Adding his preternatural hearing as a result of being the offspring of two vampires and it became fully understandable why he'd be on edge. He opened his door slightly and peered out of the crack, only opening it fully once he saw all that was outside was Gunn walking past in a sleepy daze. 

"Gunn! What's going on? What's all that noise?" 

"You remember that 'Love-Hate' relationship Spike and Angel have got going on?" 

Connor nodded. 

"They're working through the hate again. With swords this time." 

Connor sighed and rolled his eyes. This was becoming an all too often recurring event. Gunn yawned and kept walking to his room. 

"Ignore them Connor, go back to bed." 

So he did. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: No mistake. Meant to be comically short!_

**Jane Sherwood**: Moi? Evil? How could you insinuate such a thing?!!! :-P And **aeryn**, you wouldn't happen to be taking Unit 4 and 5 on Tuesday would you? Because if you are: how in the hell are you supposed to do unit 4 in the time given?!! 


	30. Ice Cream, Blood And Peaches

~*-*~ 

Angel had no choice but ignore the ache that reverberated up his side. He moved out of the way in order to grab the first weapon that came to hand. Or second weapon, as the first was a telephone, and a telephone is hardly a useful weapon when it comes to enraged vampires. 

Angel's hand descended upon a rapier. Not the best thing to use, but he didn't have time to be choosy. Spike was furious. He was furious and he had a sword. That meant Angel was in trouble. 

The two of them continued to duel it out, becoming increasingly tired as they fought. Spike found the anger exhausting meanwhile Angel was fuelled by natural self-preservation. Under normal circumstances, Angel would have despatched Spike a while back due to his life-long proficiency with weaponry, but he was injured. Spike was capitalising on this as he eventually had Angel on the floor backed up against the stairs, the tip of the sword poised directly at Angel's throat. 

Angel ceased all movement. He glanced between the glinting metal and the rage in Spike's eyes. 

"Spike, come on now, you don't want to do this." 

Spike raised an eyebrow clearly showing that he was fully prepared to thrust straight forward. 

"Put the sword down and let's just sleep it off." 

Angel wouldn't go as far as pleading, but he was getting close to needing to. There was one way left to go: exploiting weaknesses. It wouldn't be a true win for Spike if he killed now. Angel knew this. 

"I'm weak." 

A short flicker moved over Spike's face, and Angel noticed. Angel realised that it was working and continued. 

"You know you don't want to fight me like this. It's not fair." 

Spike locked his jaw, closed his eyes and frowned. With a gulp that swallowed enough of his rage, he threw his weapon to the ground with a mighty crash and stared at his sire with a look of pure hatred. 

"God I hate you." 

Upon saying that Spike thundered up the stairs and slammed the door to his room leaving Angel running his hand over his face in both relief and anger. Relief that he wasn't blowing in the wind, but also anger aimed at himself. Once again his mouth had landed him in trouble with Spike, who was likely to be miserable upstairs. He'd messed up. And now he had to fix it. Angel grabbed his coat and headed out quickly. The day was dawning, and he didn't have much time. Angel took the sewers just in case, heading slightly southwest. He needed to buy something. 

About an hour had passed when Angel returned. It was still too early for anyone to awake, and even Wesley had finished up and gone to sleep. Angel obtained some objects from the makeshift kitchen area, spent a while in the study, and then headed upstairs to Spike's door. 

"Spike?" 

Angel received a groan from inside. 

"Go away!" 

At least Spike hadn't gone to sleep yet, that was a plus for Angel. 

"Come on Spike, don't be like that. I said I was sorry!" 

No reply. Angel put his bag down next to the door, and tried the handle. Locked. Damn. 

"Look, I said something that I shouldn't have and I really didn't want to hurt you." 

Angel closed his eyes and thought back. 

"Not anymore." 

He knocked on the door again, still trying to get some response. Angel knew there would be no good in breaking down the door, as it would isolate them further for the week. 

"Spike?" 

Nothing was heard yet again. 

"Don't give me the silent treatment. Open the door." 

Angel was somewhat impressed however as the two had not had an argument in two days. Which was undoubtedly a record. 

"Spike, I understand you're angry but we're not going to solve anything if you just stay in your room and sulk. Are you still there?" 

Silence. 

"I *really* don't like the silent treatment." 

Silence. 

"Could you at least make some sort of noise so that I know you're not dusty in there?" 

Thump. 

"Thank you." 

Angel breathed a sigh of relief. He knew he had to coax Spike out of his room some way or another, and all he needed was a little bit of diplomacy. It would take some work, but Angel knew that he couldn't just let him stay angry. This called for desperate measures. 

"I brought presents." 

"What presents?" 

Angel silently jumped. Progress was good. 

"Nice ones." 

"Are they pointy and can be used to impale sires who are cruel?" 

Angel's excitement was dampened by this comment. 

"Not exactly." 

"Then piss off." 

Crap. No progress. Angel was not happy at all. 

"Would you just open the damned door? I've got one teenager. Don't really want to handle a second one." 

Jackpot. Spike could not avoid that insult and yanked the door open to attest his innocence. 

"I am not a teenager." 

Angel smiled. He'd won. Some people would accuse him of being smug. They would be right. Spike on the other hand was not really all too happy about losing the stalemate. In future he would both tie himself up and place a secure gag around his mouth, that way he could win a fight using the silent treatment. Provided of course that it can be considered winning whilst being bound tightly. As a vampire, Spike would naturally say that it very possible to be happy whilst tied and gagged... 

"At least I got you to open the door." 

Spike pouted. He looked so cute when he pouted. 

"What's the gift?" 

Angel delved into the bag that he had placed next to the door and held out his gift. It was a book. Leather-bound and soft to touch. Spike untied the string that acted as a lock and flicked through the blank pages. New diary. 

"I noticed you'd finished the last one." 

Spike smiled. He continued to inspect the present as a page fell out. But the book wasn't falling apart, it was something that had been inserted. It was the real gift. Spike opened up the folded piece of paper to discover the intricate pencil sketching inside. 

Drusilla. 

Spike carefully took the paper, taking gentle care not to smudge the image of his goddess. He stared at the ageless beauty of his sire, captured perfectly on paper by Angel. Spike's finger traced slowly over her face, taking a moment over her turned up lips, as he contemplated the deadly fangs that lay behind that mischievous smile of hers. Even in the flatness of the sheet, the two-tone drawing shone, and her eyes sparkled. That little glimmer of knowledge and lucidity was there in her eyes that seemed to say that despite all she'd been through, and however insane she may appear, she knew and saw all. Her hair wasn't straight as he'd last seen her, but tied back and tightly curled, perfectly coiffed the way that Darla would have spent ages on. And there she sat, smiling and staring out of the picture, straight into Spike's heart. She was beautiful. 

Spike could see the care Angel had taken over this, and knew why he did it. A mere image, but a representation of an area of Angel's guilt. And in giving it to Spike, he was giving his possession of Drusilla and their family hierarchy away. It wasn't an apology for the argument. It was an apology for the past hundred years. 

"It's gorgeous." 

Spike's love for Dru still remained, there was no doubt about that. 

"Yeah, well it's my way of saying sorry." 

Neither spoke of the diary. It wasn't necessary. The diary wasn't the apology, the drawing was. Spike and Angel both understood each other in a strange way where clarification was never needed. It was an underlying connection that a century apart could never come close to breaking. 

"I also got you this." 

Angel pulled out an extra large tub along with two spoons, the tub emblazoned with the Haagen-Dazs emblem. Spike couldn't help but grin. The advice had been taken to heart. Spike grabbed a spoon and opened his door wider to indicate Angel's permission to enter. After placing his new book on the side table, Spike leapt upon his bed with Angel close behind. Ripping the lid off as quickly as possible (which had been clearly opened before, and Spike did notice), both vampires grinned as they dipped their spoons into the strawberry and vanilla goodness. After swallowing a portion of the ice cream, Spike frowned and stared up at his sire. 

"It's not really strawberry swirl is it?" 

Angel grinned. He'd been found out. 

"Well you know. Strawberry, blood. It's all the same right?" 

They both had to laugh. Laughed so much in fact that Angel's ice-cream laden spoon missed his mouth placing a red and white streaked mark on his cheek. Which in turn made him laugh even more. Spike didn't laugh. Instead he dropped yet more of the frozen dessert on Angel's front. 

"Spike..." 

Uh oh. Bad move. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I mess up your shirt?" 

Angel's face didn't lighten up. Spike dropped his cheeky attitude for a moment, until Angel pulled out a full spoon and lobbed it straight onto his face. 

"You bastard!" 

"You did it to me remember?!" 

It was too late for explanations now. Both were fighting each other with ice cream bombs first thing in the morning, using their spoons as catapults and Spike's pillows as shields. After a while they had plain given up on spoons. Angel went hand-first into the thawing tub, meanwhile Spike just smeared vanilla ice cream straight into Angel's hair, a sure fire way to piss him off. Strangely enough it didn't piss them off. They were laughing. They were laughing and coated in vanilla and blood. Once they had realised exactly what they were doing, they paused. 

"Were we just attacking each other... with ice cream?" 

"More so than anything else Peaches." 

"Huh." 

They lay there for a while contemplating why they had been suddenly possessed, the ice cream slowly melting and dripping off onto Spike's bed. Angel sat up for a moment upon remembering how they'd managed to get into such a situation in the first place. 

"Am I forgiven now?" 

Spike licked off the back of his hand and grinned. 

"We're cool." 

The two of them were somewhat calmer now. They'd had an argument, and then made up again, so now they were all right with one another. But knowing them, only for the next few hours. Together they slept peacefully and sugar-coated. Later that day however Angel woke up to a strange sensation that he had to ask Spike about. 

"Spike?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Why are you licking my legs?" 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Grrr... I was hoping to update this earlier this week, but then my modem went down. I finally got it back today, but I'm still annoyed. Sigh._

**x**: See?! Full chapter! And **Jewel**, the exams went GREAT! Like actually GREAT! I've never felt so happy about an exam before. Only two left and I'm finished! [Sabrina style] Woo Hoo! 


	31. Trained To Always Remember

~*-*~ 

**_One Week Later_**

Angel descended the stairs to the rhythmic beating of punches. He could hear the panting and could almost feel the pain being inflicted on the punching bag as the scent of human sweat assaulted his nostrils. Connor was working out. 

"No, you're doing it again Connor. Focus the energy, don't go all out. This way won't work." 

Angel thought this over for a moment. 

_Wesley was down there too?_

He heard his son reply. 

"Nu-uh. Killed those vampires pretty good last night." 

"They were weak." 

"And I was stronger." 

Connor's training hadn't ended when Angel returned. Wesley stuck by his new charge, partly due to the debt he felt to Angel, but mostly because he'd come to enjoy his company. Connor wasn't judgemental. He called things as he saw them, and after the hectic soap opera months he'd lived through and the lessons he'd learned from them, he didn't hold grudges. Gunn and Fred on the other hand had spent much of the time avoiding Wesley, their refusal to forgive being shown by their constant and deliberate absence. They rarely left their room. However the person who was actually betrayed, Angel, cared a lot less about Wesley's presence around the hotel. They were civil with each other, and they both accepted the other's worth. Wesley continued to impart his knowledge. 

"Connor, blind fury can't win battles. Channel some of that energy into control and accuracy." 

Connor wasn't having any of it. 

"But I don't see why..." 

"Trust me Connor. Those vampires may have been easy, but you were lucky. Eventually it will get harder." 

Connor rolled his eyes. He'd been fighting his whole life. The way he'd heard it, Wesley had only been trained to teach. What experience could he have? Connor was mistaken though of course. Wesley had his fair share of battles, and battle scars. He continued to try and get Connor to understand. As he spoke, his voice took what could only be considered as a terrifying tone. 

"Evil will be coming, and they'll be stronger and faster than you and that's when you have to use your wits as well as your strength. Now try it again." 

Connor took this all in, and the pattern began again. Connor attacked with a combination of punches and kicks, the barrage never-ending and the punching bag began to wheeze. Wesley raised a hand, and Connor stopped to wait for further instruction. 

"Now, if you paid attention, you should be able to hit those same spots in the same sequence again." 

"Come on Wes! You've gotta be kidding me!" 

Wesley raised his eyebrow and smiled, waiting for an apology. As Connor realised his mistake, Angel watched with fatherly pride. 

"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. I wasn't focusing. I'll practice some more." 

"See that you do." 

Wesley, continued as he threw Connor a towel and moved over the training area to get some water. 

"You've got to be prepared for what's coming ahead. Because if the pattern is anything to go by, whatever we come up against next will be worse than before." 

"Never gets easier huh?" 

Connor bounded towards the stairs, throwing the towel to the floor. He took the stairs two by two. He stopped midway and nodded in appreciation for Wesley's time and energy. 

"You said it." 

"I'm gonna go wash up. Spike's taking me out later." 

The glee of hanging out on the town with Spike, who was becoming quite quickly Connor's reckless older brother, was enough to make Connor move faster towards a shower. Wesley sighed as Connor left and started to clean up, beginning with the towel that Connor had carelessly left on the floor. Wesley picked it up and folded it once, turned around to put it away and then gave off a dreadful shout. 

"You know, you'd think being in a house with me, Spike *and* Connor that you'd be used to this." 

Wesley clutched his chest as he staggered backwards. He closed his eyes and breathed slowly for a while, before responding to the cursed vampire in front of him. 

"Yes, I will try to get used to being scared out of my wits." 

He continued to clean and Angel gave him a hand. 

"Still training Connor huh?" 

"He has to be prepared." 

"So I heard." 

Angel paused as Wesley wiped his hands. His major fear when it came to Wesley was that Wesley was hiding something, and that was with good cause too. Angel remembered the last time that Wesley knew about an up and coming evil. It ended with his slashed throat and Connor in a hell dimension. Angel asked cautiously, not wanting to appear suspicious. 

"This evil that's coming, is it something I should know about? The result of endless research?" 

Wesley understood the suspicion. He raised his shirt and showed Angel the scar that still remained after being shot by a zombie and then raised his head to indicate the scar straight across his throat. 

"Result of endless pain. You know more than I do that there's always something out there that's bigger and stronger and will eventually seek us out and try to kill us. Usually me." 

Angel picked up where Wesley stopped. They were on the same wavelength, and understood exactly what the other meant. 

"We're heading for a big fight, maybe not tomorrow but soon, and now's not the time to slack off because things are easy. I'm with you the whole way." 

With the training room fully cleared and looking tidy, Wesley and Angel leaned against the walls and stared at each other for a while, before Wesley finally spoke up. 

"So you're actually letting Connor out with Spike?" 

Angel laughed to himself. 

"More like letting Spike out with Connor. The way Spike's been for the past few days, I could swear that Connor's the more mature one." 

"From what I've seen, he gets it from you." 

"Thanks Wes." 

Angel was smiling at the comment, but Wesley soon put an end to it. 

"I was referring to Spike's immaturity." 

Angel couldn't be offended. They both laughed together. It was a relaxing laugh, because their relationship had finally reached to a point where they could laugh at each other, and not have it all go badly. After the laughter naturally reached its end, they both spoke. 

"You know Wes..." "Angel..." 

They paused. 

"You go first." "You go first." 

They had to laugh again. Angel took a deep breath before starting, emphasising his sincerity, and the importance of his words. 

"Wes, I want you to know that although you really hurt me..." 

Wesley looked away. He knew this conversation would have to happen sooner or later, not that it made thins any better. 

"I still do appreciate what you're doing for me. Helping with Connor, keeping the business running. I accept that I should have controlled my anger, even though what you did was..." 

Angel had to stop and compose himself. He was still angry, but he knew what he had to do. If he never forgave Wesley, then would Wesley ever forgive him? Not likely. But Angel needed forgiveness. It was everything he needed. 

"I know why you did it but I still can't understand it. Don't know if I'll ever forgive you. But I'm willing to let it go because there are more important things to think about. At least Connor's here and he's alive." 

Wesley nodded. They were in agreement over one thing, that was certain. Connor's health and well being. 

"I suppose you should thank God for small mercies eh?" 

"What were you going to say?" 

The worn man, aged by stress and worry, thought for a moment then smiled. 

"Just about the same thing, but reversed. I guess we were friends once. Can we still be friends again? A lot has happened." 

Angel shrugged and asked the important question. 

"Is it enough to warrant the end of a pretty good relationship?" 

Wesley didn't think it was. That's not to say he was happy about being smothered when he was aiming for the greater good, but he saw the reasoning. He understood the pain. But he remembered why they were together in the first place. Fighting the good fight. Working the mission. Seeking out the forces of darkness that threaten humanity, wherever they may be. 

And all that rot. 

From the rising appreciative smile on Angel's face, he clearly agreed. Wesley gave a soft smile and shook Angel's hand to affirm that the water had clearly moved under the bridge and was now flowing into an estuary somewhere. After shaking hands, they stood and rocked on their heels for a moment. Wesley spoke up. 

"Is this one of those situations where we hug?" 

Angel deliberated for about two seconds before answering. 

"Yeah, I don't think I've forgiven you enough for that." 

Wesley could deal with this. Forgiveness in this situation was a two way street. 

"Right." 

With that settled, they sauntered together up the stairs, ready to face the days ahead as part of the same unit. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Three Exams Left!! I can't wait until it's all finally over and I can just relax and chill. Read fanfic, try some vidding, get involved and such. This time next week I won't have to think about anything of consequence for MONTHS. I'm almost there..._

I tried updating this hours ago, and all I could get was that sodding "site experiencing overload" crap. Remind me to blow something up. On the other hand, I finished my episode today for a season 8 project undertaken by some BC&S posters. If anyone wants a link, just mail me and ask!

**Blue Star Galaxy**: "Glad to know Angel wasn't decapitated and dusted"?! You didn't actually think I'd kill him off did you?!! You nutter! 


	32. Cracks In The Unit

~*-*~ 

There he lay, neither stretched out nor curled up. Head resting against the blue pillow, the two kept apart by the presence of his hands laced together. His knees were bent and the balls of his feet bouncing on the soft mattress impatiently. It was understandable to think he was alone in the bed, and considering the space left between him and his partner, he practically was. They were however not far enough apart for the rippling motion cause by the ever tapping feet to not disturb the person on the other side of the bed. 

"Charles." 

She tried to shake him out of his trance with her voice. 

"Charles?" 

He continued to tap, and she was forced to shout. 

"Charles!" 

That pulled him out of his thoughts but not out of his twitch. 

"Yeah Fred?" 

"Could you not?" 

She gestured to his feet, at which point they finally realised that their habit was annoying and stopped. Gunn stretched his legs out to avoid the temptation. 

"Sorry. I'm feeling restless." 

Snuggling further into her side of the duvet, Fred returned her eyes to the ceiling. 

"Well if you're feeling restless then go downstairs. Talk to Angel or something, give him a hand. Make yourself useful." 

Gunn scoffed. 

"More like useless." 

Fred sighed as the same conversation the couple had been through over the past three weeks began again. 

"You're not useless. And maybe if you went downstairs and talked, you'd realise that." 

"They don't want me down there." 

"That's not true." 

The exasperation screamed in Fred's voice. This talk led to the same argument every night and she was tired of it. Gunn was tired of it too, but being tired of an argument doesn't make the main issues go away. As his restlessness got the better of him, Gunn threw the covers to the side and sat up. 

"Course it is Fred! Angel hasn't asked for my help for around a month." 

"Maybe he doesn't want to intrude. After all, we are a couple." 

The way Fred said 'couple' sounded rather strange to hear. Aside from them (barely) sharing a bed, Fred and Gunn were as separate as possible. 

"He's a vampire, and a perceptive one at that. He probably knows we haven't..." 

His sentence slowed as he caught the eyes of the woman whom he hadn't touched for weeks. They gazed into one another as he continued, his voice laced with sorrow and understanding. 

"He knows." 

Gunn's short sentence reverberated with truth and finality in Fred's ear, but instead of focusing on the topic of their cold bed, she moved on. 

"Yes well even if he does, its not Angel's place to drag you out of here." 

"He's not dragging me out because I'm not needed. Face it Fred." 

He stood up and began to pace the length of the room, gesturing emphatically as he did. 

"First the Hellspawn Boy Wonder makes up with his father. They do the bonding thing over the slice and dice. On top of that, another vampire with a soul shows up who, by the by, just happens to be the same vampire Angel sired and mistreated for the past couple of lifetimes during his evil fun days. Angel's spending all his time trying to right his wrongs against those two, doesn't spend any time doing anything else." 

And Gunn was right. All Angel's energies were focused on his main priority: Connor. Regaining his trust and undoing Holtz's moral damage was taking time. In addition Angel was giving "Coping with Your Recent Resouling" therapy sessions and when that wasn't happening he'd be working alongside Wesley. Angel and Wesley were rebuilding their friendship, all the while oblivious to the relationship crumbling between the two of them and Fred and Gunn. Truth was, Angel knew and yet he knew he didn't have a choice. Connor came first, and for the moment so did Spike and Wesley. Fred understood this. 

"Angel's got major relationship issues to iron out." 

Gunn also knew this... not that it made him feel any better about it. 

"So when he's got some evil to kill, who do you think he'll take? No, he'll either handle it himself or ask those with super powers to go with." 

"Charles, you're forgetting Angel's little sunlight allergy. If the bad comes during the day, you'll be there." 

He quickly shot her down. 

"Evil's nocturnal Fred. And even when it's not in the mood for it's daytime nap, Wesley and Connor handle it fine. See what I mean? They've pushed us out." 

The normally placid Texas waif had a growing expression of anger on her face. She sat up sharply and thought over what her boyfriend had just said, and then questioned him. 

"Us? What do you mean *us*?" 

He tilted his head. His eyes spoke first and they sounded patronising, at least to Fred. 

"Come on Fred, don't act like you don't know. Spike's brought a lot to the group, what with all his knowledge of demon languages and mystical experiences. And now that Angel and English are pals again, Wes has taken up his position as brains of the operation. Let's face it, now you're pretty much useless too." 

That did it. He'd gone too far. 

"That's enough!" 

Fred was out of bed and out of breath with anger. 

"Now I have tried to be supportive and I understand that you have issues but don't you dare try to impose your inadequacies on me because I will not have it!" 

Gunn was taken aback. He'd never seen her like this before, and since he was responsible for such an upset, he quickly apologised. 

"I'm sorry." 

The apology was not accepted. 

"For what? I'm not here for you to vent at you know. You wanna talk? Fine! You feel bad? Fine! But don't take it out on me!" 

"I haven't... I don't..." 

"Yes you do! That's all everyone does. And I just sit back and take it because I don't know better. But that stops now." 

She laid it out for him in black and white, punctuating her words with the hurt she felt. 

"You're angry at Angel, not me. If you're angry with him, be angry with him._ Not me_. Because as of now, I won't just roll over for you." 

"I'm not asking you to." 

She rolled her eyes and spoke sarcastically, obviously not impressed by his last statement. 

"But heaven forbid I go downstairs and discuss life with Wesley. Or maybe grab a coffee one evening with Spike. I hardly ever leave this room, and it's all because you still hold a grudge against Wesley." 

"Have you seen the way he looks at you?" 

"That's because he loves me." 

The room stopped. Gunn finally heard his main fear out loud. Wesley loved Fred. His girlfriend. They looked at each other, both standing on either side of the bed. By this point Gunn was feeling defeated, but Fred was hurting and continued to lash out. Gunn noticed this change in her persona, and felt almost guilty at bringing her to boiling point. 

"Yeah, he told me that a few weeks ago." 

Almost. 

"And I'm sure you just fell right into his lap." 

"How dare you accuse me of infidelity!" 

The guilt never truly manifested itself and passed straight on. Instead new levels of paranoia began to seep into the dejected man, all alone in his few metres square of the room. And with the paranoia came an urge to reflect the rage thrown by Fred. 

"Well let's see. You and Wesley are just perfect for each other, what with the brains and all. Don't lie and tell me you don't find him attractive." 

She paused. She did find him attractive. But to her that wasn't the point. 

"So what if I do? Doesn't mean I will do something just because the temptation is there." 

"But maybe it isn't the brains." 

Gunn was onto something new as he paced about the room in thought. 

"It's probably the whole English thing, seeing how you've taken a shine to Spike too." 

"Spike?!" 

Fred nearly choked. 

"What is wrong with you? I swear, being up here has turned you into some kind of paranoid freak." 

"I think I have a right to be paranoid when the perfect gentleman tells my girl that he loves her." 

"No you don't. You only have the right to be paranoid when you don't trust your girl." 

Fred really did have brains. She'd figured out the root of their relation problems and said it out loud. In one short sentence. 

"And that's just it. You don't trust me." 

"Fred, I... How else am I supposed to feel when every time I'm with you, you're making eyes at someone else? You want someone smarter and better than me. It's like I'm not good enough. You don't want me." 

Her instincts told her something else too. Fred finally realised that Gunn didn't feel good enough for her. He had an inferiority complex, and she tried to rectify that as best she could. 

"Do you know what I told Wesley when he said he loved me? I told him that I chose you. I said I chose you and I only wanted you. Not Wesley, not Angel, not Spike. You." 

It began to sink into him, and Fred went on. 

"And do you know what? Wesley accepted his defeat and never said another word. Why? Because I wanted you." 

Her voice broke as she continued. She sat down, and her eyes began to sting. 

"Now I'm not so sure." 

There they sat, no longer angry nor upset. Their backs facing one another, the two kept apart by the width of the queen sized bed beneath them. Their heads were bowed and neither looked at each other, one was staring away at the door and the other rapping her fingers on the soft mattress impatiently. They both understood now that after what had been said that they would remain alone and now as individuals. They had grown far enough apart over these past few weeks to know that a relationship would not be possible with the person on the other side of the bed. 

He spoke first. 

"This isn't working is it?" 

Fred didn't want to say it, but she couldn't deny it. Neither of them could. 

"I don't think so." 

"Yeah, me neither." 

She looked slightly to the side over her shoulder almost to look at him, but didn't. Fred couldn't stand it. She had to get out of the room. 

"Um, I think I'm just gonna..." 

Fred motioned to the door. 

"Yeah, sure." 

"Right." 

She rose up and went towards the door, but stopped and turned before she opened it. 

"Charles?" 

Gunn stopped avoiding her when he heard his name spoken so plainly. He looked up, and Fred said her piece. 

"It may sound trite to just forgive and forget, and I know it's not easy. But sometimes you have to. Because it's only when you don't forgive that you realise that you have so much left to lose. And you really, really do." 

With that, she left. 

Gunn sat there for quite some time, reflecting on her words. He looked around to count his blessings. Material goods of house and home, and the more important assets of wisdom and knowledge. Fred was right, as usual. Gunn knew what he had to do. He had to forgive, because he was stronger as part of the team. But there was work to be done. The first step he took was to leave what was before his sanctuary, but slowly his prison. The funny thing was that the hours spent in preparation of seeing everyone again, preparing for arguments and upset and rejection, they were wasted. As he descended the stairs to rejoin the group, everyone turned and stared. Then they smiled. Connor jumped up from the sofa. 

"Hey G, how are you?" 

Gunn smiled as he realised that none of it mattered anymore because of where he was. He was with family. 

"I'm cool. Could do with a pizza though. You want?" 

"You bet." 

A round of affirmations from everyone meant that the order became so large that Gunn had to write it all down first, not that he minded. After all the silent arguments of the past months, not a word needed to be said. Everyone had gone through their rough patches and so they understood it all. It finally seemed like the worst was over. As Wesley answered a client on the phone, Gunn and Connor left for the pizza parlour together and Spike and Fred played cards by the stairs, Angel surveyed the scene. 

Things were definitely back to normal. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Two exams left! This is looking like a countdown..._

Okay, so I've tried Comedy, I've tried Angst... How'd my attempt at Drama go? I bet you'd forgotten this was a full-cast fic huh? 


	33. We Fade To Green

~*-*~ 

The young lad frowned with confusion. This new information made no sense to him. He puzzled over it again and again, still foundering at the root of the problem. 

"No, see... it's because a rock blunts scissors." 

Connor stared at Fred for a moment before speaking. 

"I still say it's a stupid game." 

Fred sighed and decided to give up on 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' and decided to head over to the office for some paper. Her recent obsession seemed to be filling Connor in on all he had been missing whilst he was in the Quortoth, and now she was moving on to the classics: Hangman. She returned with some papers and pens only to drop them when she saw who was coming through the door. 

"Oh my God..." 

Her face lit up with delight. 

"Lorne!" 

The green skinned and unusually tamely-dressed... well for him anyway... demon dropped his suitcase and turned to Fred, almost skipping down the steps to grab her in a hug. 

"Freddikins baby, hey!" 

"Oh, I am so glad to see you!" 

Fred was bouncing with glee, an unusual sight as she'd been quite sombre the past few days. 

"Yeah I can tell." 

Fred stopped bouncing and looked puzzled, so Lorne explained. 

"Aura." 

"Oh right! I forgot." 

Lorne tilted his head and looked straight at her. 

"But that's not all I can see. You upset about something?" 

"Oh it's nothing!" 

Lorne could see straight through Fred's façade and gave her a coaxing smile. 

"Fred..." 

Fred's smile slowly faded before she spoke. 

"I'm fine, it's just that... Gunn and I broke up last week. But I'm okay really. Things are just complicated is all." 

Lorne knew she was still hurting, you didn't need empathic powers to see that. But he let it slide, as she clearly didn't want to talk about it. 

"Things sure have changed around here haven't they buttercup?" 

As Fred nodded Connor, who had been there the entire time and had heard everything, got up and came over. 

"You don't know the half of it." 

The demon was confused. 

"Why are you talking to me?" 

"Well, that's a bit rude..." 

"Sorry Con, but all the times I've seen you past your dribbling and gurgling phase? You've wanted my head as a trophy on your wall." 

Connor sighed and smiled. He should have seen this coming. After the events last Spring, he did owe Lorne an apology for his behaviour. 

"Yeah, I'm sorry about before. But you've done nothing to me, so I don't want you dead." 

Lorne definitely saw this as some good news, surprising but pleasant. 

"Wow. I guess things really *have* changed around here!" 

"Yeah. I'm not going to toss you into the ocean wearing a pair of cement shoes!" 

Connor and Fred laughed, as did Lorne... not that he got the joke. 

"Okay, now I do feel like an outsider since I'm already out of private jokes. What are you talking about?" 

A realisation came to Fred and she frowned. 

"You really have missed a lot haven't you? In fact you were already gone by the time Cordy went missing." 

"Woah! Hold it right there peach pie, Cordy went missing?" 

Connor nodded. 

"Disappeared, just like that." 

An extra click of his fingers to accentuate Cordelia's disappearance, not that Cordelia did leave that quickly. However Connor hardly knew as he was busy with the illegal dumping of vampire off the coast. Lorne was still confused. 

"What? Did she become invisible again?" 

Connor frowned. 

"Again?!!" 

Lorne just waved him off with a 'Don't Worry About It' gesture and Fred shook her head. 

"No, she totally disappeared off the face of the planet." 

This did little to remove Lorne's confusion. 

"What? Did she go to Neptune again?" 

Connor frowned... again. 

"Again?!!" 

Then it was Fred's turn to be confused and she frowned. 

"What?!" 

She stared at the blank faces of Connor and Lorne before deciding to straighten everything out. 

"No! See, Cordelia was called by the higher powers to become one of them. A higher being. She ascended, and is no longer part of our dimension. That's what we mean by disappeared." 

Lorne's wide red eyes widened still. 

"Well, that's something. How's Tall, Dark And Brooding coping?" 

Fred and Connor rolled their eyes together and walked towards the main desk. 

"He was a little quiet about it for a while, but it's been quite some time since she went and he's come to terms with it now I think. Emphasis however on the 'think', you know how good Angel is at sharing his feelings." 

"I hear you sister. So tell me, has anything else changed that I should be, you know, clued in to?" 

At this point the office door opened and Gunn walked out carrying a file folder, clearly having heard a large proportion of the conversation. 

"No, I don't think so. Fred and Connor covered the most of it. What's up Lorne? Good to see you back." 

Lorne didn't have time to respond in a normal manner as he watched an apple fly out of the open door and into Gunn's hand. Gunn took a bite into it and stared at the new arrival doing double takes. 

"I see what you mean by 'most'. What, did Dennis move in with Cordelia gone?" 

Gunn furrowed his brow in confusion before realising the oddity that Lorne noticed. 

"Oh right, the apple. That's just Wesley." 

"Wesley's dead?!!" 

The supposed deceased took this opportunity to let himself be seen, much surprising Lorne who was fully prepared to begin mourning. 

"I'm here. Alive and well. Well... dead tired if you must know. I can't sleep as well as *some* dead people around here..." 

"Oh my God." 

Everyone turned to look at Fred who had a look of horror on her face. 

"What's the matter Fred?" 

"Dennis! We... we haven't told Dennis! He doesn't know that Cordelia's safe and he's probably worried sick!" 

The group seemed to understand Fred's worry, apart from Connor. 

"Fred? Why so worried? It's just a ghost." 

"Ghosts have feelings too Connor. It's those emotions that partly differentiate ghosts from poltergeists." 

Fred nodded at Wesley's comment, and she became increasingly animated. 

"Yeah! And Dennis is really nice too. He doesn't mean any harm to anyone, and he's always so helpful if you go round there. You've never met him have you?" 

Connor shook his head, slightly frightened by Fred's excitement due to a dead spirit. 

"Oh! You have to go meet him! Now in fact, since I'm going over there to tell him about Cordy. Come on! Get your coat! You're going to love Dennis..." 

Wesley shook his head in amusement and left up the stairs whilst Gunn and Lorne watched as Fred left with Connor, all the while discussing the great deeds of Phantom Dennis. Lorne paid more attention to Gunn, watching his mood as he watched her. Gunn was clearly just a sombre as Fred was, neither of them quite over the break up yet. 

"How long has it been?" 

"Four days." 

"You miss her don't you?" 

"You have no idea how much." 

"You still love her." 

"Undoubtedly. Maybe even too much." 

Gunn took the chance to clarify. 

"We didn't break up because the love was gone. We still love each other. It just wasn't working, you know?" 

Lorne nodded with understanding. 

"Doesn't stop it hurting though does it?" 

Gunn didn't answer. He didn't need to. The two would have remained in silence together, reflecting on the pain of loving, but Wesley reappeared from upstairs, toting a large pile of books. 

"Wow English, you must have worked out to lift all those." 

"Yeah... what are you carting all those around for?" 

Wesley put them down in the office before coming back to explain his plan. 

"It's simple really. We use these books for research all the time, but we waste precious time whenever something new comes up decrypting all those proto-demon languages. I figure that using this spare time on our hands to copy the major passages into English and filing them away will save us time in the future. We can research from all these texts, and skip the exhaustive translation process." 

Lorne winced. 

"Good idea. Just don't get me involved, please. Only so many books I can handle, and I've already read one this year." 

Wesley gave a short laugh and returned to the office. 

"Lorne?" 

Lorne turned around. 

"Why is that my very own vampire with a soul? Hey there buddy!" 

Angel smiled and walked over from the stairs. 

"Long time Angel-hair, and can I say that you never looked so... moist." 

Lorne paused, awaiting an explanation. 

"Oh yeah, I was talking to Bianca and Katherina." 

Lorne paused yet again, awaiting an explanation. 

"The mermaids." 

"We have mermaids?!" 

Gunn just smiled, as their new developments continued to confuse Lorne. The look of shock and disbelief had never left his face since he arrived. 

"Chill man, Angel just brought back some overgrown fish after his sabbatical at the bottom of the ocean. Voyage thanks to Connor." 

Connor's comment about sinking finally made some sense to Lorne. The comment did anyway, as the thought of Connor sinking Angel to the bottom of the ocean couldn't possibly make sense. Lorne really did think he missed a lot. And he had. 

"I can't believe you have mermaids. I miss all the fun stuff." 

Angel smiled, knowing full well that what Lorne considered fun was actually painful to live through, for every party involved. 

"It wasn't as fun as it may sound. So anyway, what brings you back from Las Vegas?" 

Lorne grimaced. 

"Well, therein lies a long and agonising story..." 

_He walked off the stage of the latest show, clearly to some rapturous applause. After a short break involving the sipping of a margarita, it wasn't long before the space in front of the stage door was filled with fans wanting autographs. Lorne could barely leave his dressing room, but by now he was used to it. This was no rare occurrence._

"Things were fine for a while. Popular and people really did enjoy the shows." 

_Lorne wandered up the stairs, looking rather worried at the visit to the casino manager. He wasn't invited up often, and he had a feeling this would be a firing. He wandered into the room, the mahogany desk adorned with cash. And in the chair sat the main man, Mr O'Donnell himself. He had a look of satisfaction on his face, which could only mean that the upcoming fun of dismissing an employee. Lorne sat down in the chair opposite awaiting the bad news. But it wasn't bad news. Mr O'Donnell stood up and turned the screen of his laptop towards Lorne, the spreadsheet indicating profits of the past month. A smile crept across Lorne's face._

"I made a lot of healthy and gorgeous cash. And cash gets you anywhere in that town. I would hang out at all the celeb bashes. C and D list of course, but still pretty nice. All your normal kind of stuff." 

_It was the same every night, not that anyone admitted being bored with it. The same drinks, the same mindless conversation, just different faces. Lorne was getting accustomed to it. He'd walk around and chat in groups of people who had clearly never heard of him, but would keep talking just to keep up the image. Occasionally he'd find those that had seen his shows, and at those parties he'd often be asked to sing. And he did. Lorne would sing, and they would clap. Those were the good parties. After he'd sing, there would always be people in awe. And some of them would be sexy too..._

"So why did it all turn bad? The usual. A girl." 

_She stood out from the others as watched Lorne sing, probably because her hair colour didn't come from a bottle. After he'd finished and taken a mock bow, she'd clapped and walked away. It wasn't until later that she caught up with him. They'd chat a while, and he'd crack a joke. She'd laugh heartily as she tossed her flowing brown hair over to one side. She was an actress, only in town for a few weeks with a touring stage production. But all the same, she and Lorne would always bump into one another at those same repetitive showbiz parties. Eventually they exchanged details, she read the name "Lorne Green" off his calling card and scrunched up her cute little nose that was coated in freckles. Lorne only ever received her number, and honestly never caught her name. He merely called her "Showbiz Gal" and she didn't even seem to mind._

"I met her at a party and she was a pleasant girl. We became friends talked a lot. Except one night she decided to turn up and surprise me before a show." 

_It was a few hours before another show, but that didn't stop Lorne from already being in his dressing room. He was in the bathroom checking his hair, completely unaware that his showbiz gal was preparing to surprise him. Lorne had little on besides a towel that afternoon, and why should he wear more? After all, it was his dressing room. Deciding that he had hours to get dressed, Lorne wandered leisurely back into his room, preparing to lie back and relax before the upcoming show. Unfortunately, **She** was there. She may have been there to surprise Lorne, but she ended up being surprised herself..._

"Once she found out I was green all over..." 

_Showbiz Gal didn't say anything at all. She bowed her head and stumbled over a coffee table before running out of the room. Lorne sighed, but was quite worn out anyway. He decided to lie down and catch some sleep so he was fully refreshed before his performance. Whilst he slept however, Showbiz Gal ran through the halls screaming about the perversion of the man with completely green skin._

_Later, Lorne awoke. He dressed himself in green and red with shiny sequins to set off the suit, looking much like an alternate version of Santa Claus. Quickly running a comb through his hair and then spraying it for a healthy shine, he opened his door, fully prepared to make his way towards the stage door. Unfortunately there were people waiting for him outside in the hallway. All the set workers, all the caterers, all the stage managers and even Mr O'Donnell. They were all standing there, wielding all sorts of weapons they could find. Some stood there with an evil glare in their eyes, preparing to ambush the freak that was Lorne. They even had flaming torches. This was the Las Vegas mob, and not the nicer Mafia kind. Lorne gulped._

"She told people I was a freak and they ran me out of town." 

Gunn let out a whistle. 

"That's harsh." 

Lorne had no choice but to nod in agreement. 

"Tell me about it bub. Strange how with all the liberalism in that town, the Las Vegas starlets don't seem to gel with the green pigment." 

Angel sighed at the story of Lorne's exile. 

"That's so outdated. I haven't been chased out of a town like that since the nineteenth century." 

"Yes, but you weren't losing out on a massive record deal were you?" 

He couldn't deny that. Lots of tasty fresh virgins yes, record deal no. 

"Well Lorne, their loss is LA's gain. They've no longer got a great performer and we've got Caritas back." 

Lorne scoffed. 

"You think I'm reopening the club just to have you blow it up again?" 

"Not my fault Lorne. It's the demon in me. Likes to see things explode." 

Gunn smirked. 

"Yes. Plus, fire is pretty." 

"Yeah Gunn. I've always liked fire you know, good old combustible me." 

The sarcasm in Angel's tone made Lorne smile. He'd noticed something else that had changed somewhat: Angel's sense of humour. It was refreshing. 

"Besides, I wasn't much into the fire of exploding buildings, it was more the carnage. The ecstasy of watching people fleeing for their lives, the joy gained from watching the pain on people's face as they watched loved ones burn to death. That's where the fun was." 

Angel didn't realise until it was too late that he'd gone too far. He saw the shocked faces staring back at him, they were positively sickened. They had almost forgotten what Angel used to be, what he still was. 

"Guys, I'm sorry." 

He thought back a moment. 

"No wait. I'm not sorry. You have to learn that I'm not like you. I may act human most of the time but I'm not. I have evil urges and impulses that I do best to control, but that doesn't stop them from being there. Don't ever forget what I really am." 

One person who knew that truth well after the last few months was Wesley, and he returned from the office yet again. He noticed the sombre mood of those around him, and he'd heard the conversation. Wesley turned his attention to Lorne as he was yet to greet him properly. 

"I just reached a pause point in my project. So Lorne, are you keeping up all right?" 

Lorne thought back over all the information he'd received over the past hour. It made sense. A sort of weird supernatural sense, but sense nonetheless. 

"I'm getting the hang of it. It's enough to baffle me just a bit, but not enough to make me dazed and confused then leave me in a state of catatonia or anything." 

At this point, the second vampire of the household entered the room. He looked slightly dishevelled and had clearly just woken up. And this was late and lazy of him, even as a vampire. Lorne caught sight of Spike as he stumbled down the stairs yawning as he went and gasped. 

"Holy jumping catfish! There's two of them!" 

"And we're in to catatonia..." 

Wes grinned as did Gunn, and they quickly grabbed Lorne's suitcases and decided to go upstairs and sort out his room. From the look of shock on his face, Lorne was going to need to lie down for a while. Lorne did a double take. 

"Spike?" 

"Krevlornswath!" 

Angel merely raised an eyebrow. 

"What the..." 

Spike stepped slowly off the steps, still clearly drowsy, and came over to give Lorne a hug. They smiled at one another, much to Angel's mystification at the situation. 

"How do you two know each other?" 

Lorne laughed as he looked to the sky, trying to recall when he first met Spike. 

"It was a few years back, and your boy here stumbled into Caritas completely smashed. My God, was he miserable! He sang, and I read him. We got to the talking afterwards, the rest is history." 

Angel nodded with understanding. 

"Why was he miserable and drunk, again?" 

"Oh, he was just having trouble with his girl..." 

Lorne watched as Spike repeatedly made a cutting throat action behind Angel's back. 

"...dle." 

"What?" 

"Girl...dle. Girdle." 

Angel blinked a few times, trying to allow his brain to register what he'd heard from Lorne's desperate mouth. 

"Spike was miserable and drunk... because he was having trouble with his *girdle*?" 

If looks could kill, Spike would have murdered Lorne right then and there. That said, he still needed to diffuse the situation. 

"Yeah, I was having girdle trouble. I thought I wanted to be a woman. I was confused." 

Spike watched as Angel's eyes slightly glazed over. 

"But I'm fine now." 

Angel looked at Spike, then Lorne, then Spike again. 

"So you're telling me that you read Spike a few years ago and he was miserable because he had gender issues?" 

"Yeah." 

Lorne and Spike glanced between one another, wondering if Angel bought it. 

"I don't buy that." 

Oops. 

"I don't know what you're up to, but I can tell you two are keeping something from me. Still, I have to go. I have somebody to interrogate and terrify, and I like to look my best when I'm doing it. It's great to have you back Lorne." 

As Angel left, Spike decided to follow him up the stairs giving Lorne a scowl for the previous misstep. 

"You're a nonce you know. Getting ready now when I *know* you don't have to be there for another two hours. You're worse than a bloody woman." 

"I'm not the one wearing girdles Spike." 

That earned Lorne a second glare from the stairs. 

"Oh yeah? Well at least I don't wear make up, _Angel_." 

"At least *I* don't spend hours in front of the mirror when I don't even have a reflection, _Spike._" 

That shut him up. 

"Touché." 

Lorne smiled as he watched the two vampires argue over their vanity and walked into the centre of the lobby as he was now alone. He took the silence as a friend to his clogged mind, and he tried to make sense of what he'd learnt. 

When he'd left, Fred and Gunn seemed so happy together. He could see the love between them, literally. He still could when he saw them together today, but it was clouded with misery and splashes of darkness. Lorne couldn't understand what must have happened while he was away to split up a pairing that had such promise. That wasn't all he couldn't understand. Angel's son, ironically a demon-hating machine, was suddenly tolerant and almost caring. Still not quite perfect from the Dad-dumping stories obviously, but willing to visit a ghost just to keep Fred happy. And Lorne noticed the uncanny similarities between Angel, Spike and Connor's dress sense. He assumed that the general black theme must run in the blood. Lorne thought about Wesley, and the strange fact that he was here. Although he and Angel clearly weren't all about smooches and daffodils, there was no hatred between them. Lorne couldn't feel it. What he could feel was the residual sadness from Angel. He was hiding it well, as Angel always did, but he was missing Cordelia. Now that was something Lorne was going to have to think about. Ascension? Becoming a higher power? Freaky. He knew that the glowing and the floating were weird enough, but still. Moving to heavenly planes was not often done. Lorne wandered over to the fridge, hoping for a drink but finding a large supply of fish and blood. He assumed that the fish were for the mermaids and the blood was for the vampires, understandably. The mermaids. Called Katherina and Bianca. Lorne couldn't wait to meet them, or rather just Bianca if the names were anything to go by. He sighed and closed the door on all the blood, thinking about Angel and Spike. Lorne saw a change in Angel, some of which he attributed to the feeling of connection. Maybe with another vampire in the hotel, and a souled one at that, Angel didn't feel quite as alone as he used to. And then there was Spike. Seeing Spike coming down the stairs with a soul in his aura really knocked Lorne for six. Why? Because this soul came out of the blue. Lorne had read Spike and seen nothing to do with a soul in his future. Something must have disturbed the fates to make Spike travel down a path that would give him a soul, and although things seemed safe at the moment, Lorne knew this could only mean something bad was just around the corner. 

Where is tequila when you need it? 

Lorne wandered around the room, staring at the walls and ceilings, reflecting as he went. 

"I have come back from Las Vegas to the place I call home. That home has a vampire with a soul who is currently mourning the loss of a woman who, after glowing intermittently for a few months, disappeared to a higher dimension. I also live with his son, who himself is an oddity of nature by being born to two vampires. Not only that but he was only born ten months ago, and he's already sixteen. There are two human men here, one used to belong to the age old English society of slayer training, the other has lived in Los Angeles his entire life, fighting demons on the street. The only remaining female in this house has an insanely high IQ and spent 5 years trapped as a slave in the hell dimension I came from." 

He sighed. 

"There really is no place like home." 

Suddenly, being green didn't seem so weird anymore. 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Now you *know* I had to bring Lorne home... Life's no fun without him!_

So, my exams are over! Yay! There's one more chapter of this episode, and then an epilogue, and it's over. However, I've started work on the sequel, and considering that I've left school and have no plans for like the rest of my life (well, not until University anyway) then that story shouldn't take so long to finish.

But still, cheer! A-Levels are **OVER**!

**x**: you make a good point. After I was about half way through writing this I realised that it would probably be better off in the AtS section. But then I considered the large Spike focus, who isn't on AtS. But now *that's* all changed and... *sigh*. So I just left it in BtVS. Hmm... do you guys think I should move it? 


	34. Family

~*-*~ 

**_One Week Later_**

Angel sat at his desk in the office heavily engrossed in a periodical. He was finding himself growing annoyed with a report about crime in Los Angeles, knowing full well that the police were doing little to reduce the strange murders reported and yet were being accredited with the success. Although he knew it would never be possible, a part of him wanted some of the praise. Angel Investigations had stepped up its work, especially since they had more employees now. Angel continued to read and annoy himself, so into the article that he didn't notice Spike wander in until he threw some papers under his nose. 

"What's this?" 

"Receipts. I went shopping." 

"Right." 

Since everyone, bar Wesley, was living at the Hotel, it had become easier for everything to be bought directly through the company. Since nobody minded, this was the way it was done. Angel skimmed through the receipts, as Spike had clearly run through a lot of shops. 

"First Aid stuff... yada yada yada... blood... maple syrup?" 

He stared at Spike who was perched on an opposing desk, flicking through a translation of the Codex. 

"What?" 

Angel lifted up the piece of paper, drawing Spike's attention to the item in question. 

"Maple syrup?" 

"I fancied something sweet." 

"*Three* bottles?!" 

"I fancied a lot sweet." 

Angel sighed as he took a brief check of the prices. 

"Why is it that introducing one blood-drinking vampire makes the bills multiply at an alarming rate?" 

Spike shrugged, not really having an answer. 

"I like food, that's all." 

"Why can't you be normal and just drink blood like the rest of us?" 

Gunn's voice permeated into the office from the lobby. 

"Happily here in the non-blood drinking capacity thank you!" 

Angel was forced to grin as he continued checking through the receipts. 

"Sea salt... sea salt... sea salt... unusually expensive whiskey..." 

Glare. Mock. 

"And sea salt!" 

"You think your face is a picture? You should have seen the woman at the checkout." 

Angel gave off a short smile before getting back to the task at hand. 

"Yeah, I'll get these to Wes. He's kinda acting as accountant these days." 

Silence quickly ensued in the small office. The clock began to tick obnoxiously, however neither vampire paid it much attention. They sat, both entranced in their own thoughts. Spike's thoughts however, soon got the better of him. 

"Angel..." 

He lifted his head from the page. 

"Yeah?" 

Spike continued to sit, not looking at Angel, but resting his head on his fist that was in turn balanced by his elbow on the table. He stared straight ahead, speaking airily, clearly figuring out his own mind processes at the same time. 

"You know Connor." 

"Of course I know Connor." 

"Yes, well if he was sired by some random vampire, would he still be of Aurelius?" 

Angel frowned, partly confused and partly annoyed. 

"What?!" 

Spike clarified his query. 

"I'm just saying. I mean, it's Aurelius blood that flows through him right? So what would happen?" 

Angel just stared him down. 

"I'm speaking hypothetically Angel." 

"Yes, well hypothetically I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about my son becoming a vampire." 

Spike realised from the harshness of his sire's tone that his tactless comment was out of line. He'd been too harsh and now he was suffering the consequence: Guilt. Spike hated guilt. It was a disgusting feeling that he couldn't bear living with. It slowly dissolved his insides, and at its worst would often make him dizzy. The remorse had been growing slowly day by day, but it was now getting worse. Spike felt an inner urge at times to simply chew his own arm off, just to dull the throbbing pain in his heart. He wasn't accustomed to the true pain of his soul yet. That would take years. 

Spike watched Angel working (Working? Ha! He was *so* doing a crossword...) and analysed his situation. Here he was in a healthy atmosphere. He had family and friends around him... but he wasn't happy. Why? Guilt. Residual guilt for what had happened with Buffy and Anya was still gnawing at him, and all his time here in LA was just giving these feelings an opportunity to root and fester. Spike knew what he had to do if he was ever going to shake it off. 

He approached the desk where Angel sat, and as he stood there awaiting Angel's attention he almost sat down on the floor. The weight of his soul ached, and he wasn't sure he could take it much longer. Angel raised his head slightly, looking out from under his brow at the figure standing before him. 

"What?" 

Spike gave a weak half smile, considering the best way to explain his new decision. Angel just frowned at him, wondering how many other ways he could put his foot in his mouth in one hour. 

"Angel, you've been great." 

"But..." 

Spike decided to just suck it up and say it out loud. 

"I'm leaving." 

"What?!" 

Fair to say this did take Angel by surprise. Spike was taken aback by his outburst and quickly clarified. 

"Not yet, but on Thursday." 

Angel thought for a moment, trying to think what was so special about Thursday. 

"Why Thursday? That's Halloween." 

"Best time to travel as ever. Won't get caught up in any mystical nonsense on my way." 

Angel understood that notion as he stood up. He thought this over as he walked around, finally coming to sit and perch on the side of the desk. 

"Why now?" 

Spike looked skyward and sighed, clearly disappointed in himself. 

"I've been here about a month and a half, and I'm not making progress." 

Off Angel's look, Spike explained further. 

"Okay fine, I can actually sleep now, but it's not helping. All I'm doing is trying to avoid going back." 

Angel sighed. He knew that his pain would get worse, he could see it. Angel could almost parallel his situation with Spike. Spike was running away, and he couldn't bear it much longer so wanted to go back. Angel knew how that felt. It'd happened to him. However it had ended in much heartache when Darla rejected him. He didn't want the same for Spike. Angel didn't know what Spike was running away from, but whatever it was it was too soon for him to go back to it... right? 

"You know, it feels weird to say this but I like having you around. I'm not the only one of the undead persuasion. It feels good to know there's someone else out there who understands." 

Spike listened and shook his head with a smile. 

"You've patched things up with your Watcher out there now. Your little one is not so little, and things are looking up for you two. You've got a great business and two pleasant... okay, one pleasant mermaid and a disagreeable wench as information sources." 

Feeling the need to break it down further, Spike slowly emphasised his point. 

"You've got your life near sorted. Now I've got to sort mine." 

Angel almost needed confirmation. He knew he had to accept it, but that didn't mean he wanted to. 

"Are you sure?" 

"I'm sure." 

"Because this could be your home if you wanted it to." 

"I know." 

They shared a look of understanding. Angel realised the necessity for Spike to resolve whatever issues needed resolving, meanwhile Spike was glad just to know there was a place where if anything went wrong, he'd always be welcome. 

"But why now Spike? I thought you were happy here. I mean yes, you piss me off, but you seem to enjoy making me miserable." 

"I am happy here. I do enjoy making you miserable." 

Angel rolled his eyes at Spike's statement of fact. 

"But it's not like I'm never coming back. We'll meet up again." 

Angel raised an eyebrow. 

"This century?" 

Spike laughed and opened up an invisible date planner. Skimming down the non-existent page, he smiled. 

"This century is good for me. I'll be in touch." 

Spike left out of the side office door and made his way towards the stairs. He was on his way up the stairs and not out the doors of course, as he still had to pack what little things he had. Those few things he had with him when he arrived, the things he had collected, and not forgetting the numerous trinkets that Angel had bought him off with every time they had an argument. Spike also wanted to say his proper goodbyes to Connor, his partner in hotel mischief, and of course Fred, who was someone he would definitely miss. Angel leant on the doorframe and watched as Spike walked away from him. 

"Where will you go?" 

Spike smiled, as he didn't have to think about the question. He knew the answer. He knew exactly where to go. 

"Where I belong." 

~*-*~ 

* * *

_Author's Note: Yo. Was planning on updating Monday, except my Leavers Ball (for my foreign friends = Senior Prom) was on Tuesday and I kinda went crazy over the whole dress and hair and blah stuff so... You understand!_

Well, I guess with that it's official. School and that entire chapter of my life is over. Finished. Done with. Boy, I do feel funny...


	35. A Prological Epilogue

~*-*~ 

"Ow!" 

Buffy pulled the brush out of her drying hair with a tug, clearly pulling a lot of pretty blonde hair with it. She sighed and picked up the hair bottle on the counter, staring at what was now her fuller face with disappointment. 

"I really have to stop falling for those stupid shampoo ads! No More Tangles my ass..." 

It was cold outside, even for October, if it was in fact October. Days had faded into months and to be honest, Miss Summers could hardly tell whether it was day or night, let alone which month it was. Sitting alone in the kitchen, and snacking on whatever she could find, Buffy sighed. It wasn't long however before Willow appeared in the doorway. 

"Morning!" 

Buffy would reply, however she was too busy giving Willow a quizzical look. She looked her up and down, noting the origin of the dress Willow wore. The ruffles, the layers, the ribbons and the bows. And of course the corset, which definitely accentuated Willow's figure. It was that same dress that she had worn years ago, its aim was to impress Angel and it ended up regressing her two hundred years. Willow returned Buffy's questioning glare. 

"It was in the attic and it's pretty. Also, a certain Mr Rayne isn't exactly in operation chaos wise, so I assumed it was safe. How are you?" 

"Same as usual." 

Willow twirled a few times and smiled before fiddling with whatever she could get her hands on around the kitchen. Buffy sighed, practically ignoring her friend. 

"I miss Amy." 

Willow had to frown and glanced over. 

"What makes you say that?" 

"Well I feel like a rat!" 

She motioned to the numerous amounts of cheese slice wrappings that littered the ground like snow. 

"Even after all those, I still want more cheese." 

Willow smiled. She put down King James and took Buffy's hand. 

"Okay, so you're addicted to cheese. No big! Loads of pregnant women have weird eating habits." 

Buffy groaned and stood up. She headed towards the refrigerator and took out yet more cheese to eat. 

"Yeah, I know. Blame the kid." 

She munched on another slice of reconstituted cheese, allowing the wrapper to float towards the ground. Buffy rubbed her rather large second-trimester stomach. Willow just smiled at her, almost in awe of how the pregnancy made her glow, as she pulled two mugs of blood out of the microwave. 

"I still can't believe you're having Spike's baby!" 

"Nor can I. And babies don't forget. I cannot be this huge already with just one person in here." 

"Speaking of people, where's Dawn?" 

Buffy finished another slice. 

"Xander took her to school. He's working there now, and she's 'learning to become someone'." 

Willow dunked a biscuit in her blood, allowing the red tint to soak its way up the snack before devouring it whole. 

"Is she reacting any better to Pregnant Buffy?" 

"No. She's not happy. Convinced I'm giving birth to demon spawn." 

Willow tried to stroke Buffy's back to assure her, but her index finger only left a lightning streak of blood on her naked back. 

"Let's put it this way. She's the worst of everyone." 

"I know. Giles is still excited." 

They giggled together, something they hadn't done in years. Willow and Buffy were clearly growing together again. 

"Those kids will be spoilt rotten." 

"Tell me about it. Giles is convinced they're boys and he's already bought them all little white suits and miniature cricket bats. Spike doesn't have the heart to tell him that our boys will not play cricket." 

"What does he want them to play?" 

"Well he's got them kitted out in soccer clothes. To quote him, they'll be like the Nevilles only better." 

Buffy wrinkled her nose at her own rather bad imitation. Willow sipped her blood some more as Tara wandered in. 

"Evening baby." 

Tara tried to slip her a kiss, but she wasn't exactly bendy. The black leather catsuit with red lace trim lacked room for movement. Willow noticed and got up from the table to kiss her instead. 

"Aww... I know it's strange, but you'll get used to it. I wore that costume once." 

Buffy looked up from the magazine article and licked some remaining Stilton off her fingers. 

"Hey Tara, feeling better?" 

Tara rubbed her head. 

"A little. Still a bit dizzy. Hungry though." 

"Oh! I'd offer you cheese, because you need it. But I seem to have finished it all." 

Tara glanced down as Buffy pointed at the ones still on the table. 

"Those are for me." 

Tara smiled and turned to her girlfriend. 

"It's the pregnancy right?" 

Willow just nodded. Then she remembered. 

"Oh! I almost forgot. Here's your blood sweetie." 

She handed Tara the second mug. 

"I heated it too early I guess." 

"It's okay. I like the cold." 

Tara took a sip of what was now the congealing blood and then took her girl in the arms for a kiss. Buffy watched with tears in her eyes. 

"You two are so right for each other! I miss Spike so much right now." 

The two witches, one in leather, one in period dress, pulled apart and took the pregnant slayer in supportive hug. They would have remained like that for a while since in that hug was peace, warmth and security, except the back door of the kitchen had been rapped upon. 

"I'll answer that." 

Buffy moved to the door and opened it to a bald man sporting large black-rimmed glasses. He was wearing a tweed suit and held a plate with cheese on it. Except this was strange to Buffy since the cheese was in its original form. It was not sliced, but in a short cylindrical shape. It was a beauty to her. The man smiled politely before addressing her. 

"Hello madam, here is your new delivery. Sorry about the shape, we had no choice." 

He took out a pen. 

"Sign here." 

Buffy's eyes snapped open. She was slightly shaken by the experience. After all, it was just a dream. No prophecy, not a Slayer dream. Just a dream. What it meant she had no idea, but providing there was no apocalypse, she was probably safe. Hey, even if it was an apocalypse then she would be likely to stop it anyway. Buffy was rationalising all she could, but inside she knew the truth. 

_I dreamt about the man with the cheese. No good can come of this._

~*-*~ 

**THE END**

* * *

_Author's Note: *sigh* It's all over! Oh, I can't believe that it's finished! Well, that's a lie since I started the sequel yesterday morning. But this episode is over!_

Oh, I have so many people to thank for making me soooo happy! *starts crying* First I'd like to thank the academy... [somebody whispers to J] What? This *isn't* the Oscars? Oh... bugger.

Okay, first of the bat, I love all you guys. Every review has made me bounce up and down in maniacal glee, really. You wouldn't believe how just a few words can make somebody so happy. This has been a total labour of love, and since this is my first Jossverse fic, you have no idea how many times I just wanted to give up and leave the writing to the figurative professionals. You made it all worth it! And now I'm going to keep trying. Obviously. Since I promised a sequel and a sequel you'll get. But, you know, not *immediately*. Remember the whole "only started it yesterday" thing?

Special thanks to Liz, natch. Some brilliant beta work my darling!

**Daywalker:** "Why the name Opium?". Okay, I'll be honest, I don't even remember. The original version of this story spent *a lot* more time under the ocean and there was a complete adventure down there involving demon drug-dealing and such, but I scrapped it quite early on and yet still loved the name. It's true. The story you're reading could have been *much* longer... but probably not as interesting.  
**Chelsea, x & aeryn:** Things *are* much cooler in Los Angeles aren't they? But unfortunately Spike is convinced that he's in love with Buffy (strange vampire...) and where Buffy be, Spike be. Oh, but I love Angel, Wesley and Connor *sniff* (those three especially, and heck I love the Fred/Spike dynamic) to not let them show up eventually! So the answer is I don't know. We'll see.  
**reviewer 131:**(who was coincedentally reviewer 123...) Which ship? S/B? S/A? Bugger if I know. I'm an S/A girl at heart and S/B really does it for me, and I appreciate the B/A love... *sigh* If Spike and Buffy head down to LA, there'll just have a threesome and everyone's happy.

And concluding what is probably the longest author's note I've ever done (apart from one that I did a while ago when drunk. Cause that was funny.) thanks to every single reader again and see you soon!


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